|
May 16, 2008, 12:40 pm PDT
Daughter issues
Quote From: cbncfaiththings have not been good for me. On New Years Eve my husband, who had been a recovering crack addicted relapsed yet again. He went golfing that day and my 6 year old daughter and I were waiting for him so we could all go out together for New Years Eve and he never came home. I had a job so it was not a huge deal that he completely emptied out or whole bank account. About 2 weeks later, I lost my job due to budget cuts. About a week later, I find out a friend found my husband and he was on a greyhound bus going to Minnesota from Florida for a 3 mo rehab. I got really sick after this. I started a flare up of chronic kidney infections which is not new to me. Stress does horrible things to my body. I began undergoing tests and have finally found out that it COULD be MS but they are not sure. Today I have had a lot of pain as some days are better than others. My friend went and got my daughter off the bus and then brought her here to get some things. She was blatantly refusing to go to my friends. After arguing with her, threatening to ground her etc I picked her up and carried her to the car. After I felt really guilty thinking maybe I should have have let her stay with me. The reason I didn't was because my dr put me on a very strong muscle relaxant and if I fell asleep I would not be able to supervise her. I feel horrible and do not know what to do. As I was carrying her out she was screaming: Leave me alone, Leave me alone. I don't know if something was bothering her or if she was just having a tantrum. She has been obsessed with me since my husband left. I do not get 5 minutes to myself. If I go outside she follows- If I am anywhere including in my bed at night she has to be right next to me. I am stressed out and need some help figuring this out. I am a very sensitive insecure parent because I was raised in foster care and was told when I was pregnant that I would not be a good mom because I had an attachment disorder that I would definantly pass on to my daughter and so I am always worried about that. My daughter and I are very close I thought but now I am beginning to wonder- She has started lying and stealing at school but yet she is bordering on being a gifted student and I just dont know what to do I urge you to seek professional counseling for yourself as soon as possible. Any excuses that you have used for reasons not to go to therapy, you’ve got to dismiss them. You really, really need professional, unbiased guidance right now. If you are hesitant, remember that you’ve got to do this for your child. As a parent myself, I know that you want your child to have better then you had while growing up. I don’t just mean financially- I mean emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You want your child to grow up to be a confident, healthy, happy, productive member of society. For that to happen, you’ve got to give her a healthy, happy, confident mother- and professional therapy would be the best gift you could ever give yourself.
If you’ve had a negative experience with therapy in the past, please know that there are many different types of therapists. When you go into an office, there is no guarantee that you are going to ‘hit it off’ with that therapist, so if you get a feeling that something just isn’t right, then you’ve got to move on, and try another therapist. It can be exhausting and frustrating, but so well worth it! In my own personal experience, I had a really horrible therapist when I made my first attempt at counseling, and that gave me a negative view of therapy from then on. Later on in my life, when I had some struggles, therapy was suggested again and although I didn’t want to go- I just “knew” that I would be judged- I went and gave it a try. That first therapist didn’t seem ‘right’ to me, and although it was difficult to stand up for myself, I did call her, canceled my next appt., and told her that I didn’t think we would be a good fit. I wondered if I would ever find a therapist that was right for me. Luckily for me, the next one I met was excellent and she helped me to change my life in many positive ways.
You need and deserve to have professional guidance- to learn how to create and implement positive changes in your life. You deserve a great life, and your child, also. Best wishes to you!
|
