Quote From: yesyoucanLet it out so you can see where you want to go from here... Here's a link should you need some advice. Just click, country, state then city
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My first husband was that way. I made tuna sandwiches with just miracle whip and he said not done right and smashed in my face then threw his whole glass of ice tea in my face and said, "I thought you might like some iced tea with that." Oil painting my neighbor painted she gave to me for mowing her lawn while she was in Europe is on wall to my right and still has tea stains on it. Then, I had cramps really bad and I hadn't done dishes yet and he came home from work at noon made some soup and poured all over the stove and kitchen and said, "I thought you might like some more to have cleaned up by the time I get home at 5 p.m. He expected to have meals "just like his mother made". I used to have horrible cramps. Needless to say, I divorced him. Oddest thing is after he did all this he expected me to stay and if I left stalked me. You ought to read "Relationship Rescue" as Dr. Phil says pretty much men act like men and want "Betty Crocker in the kitchen and a sex kitten in the bedroom" (page 251) and are pretty insensitive. Well, that "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and we just have to learn to love our differences instead of being offended by them...and the art of compromise and looking for the good points that brought the couple together in the first place. However, sounds like this person is getting physical grabbing your daughter's plate and tossing in the sink. Not a good sign from what I have heard.
I have alot of thinking to do. Actually it probably isn't so much thinking it really is probably seeing. You know he can be so good to me and when we do get along it is so good but if there are problems and he doesn't tell me and lets it build up this is where we end up. It used to be me that everytime there was a problem I was say "that's it we are done" and now it is him. We never discuss problems always just get mad and nothing ever gets resolved. I don't know if it is wrong but I think that if we would just discuss things and work at the problem at the time instead of letting it build up that we could be good together.
Now the pattern is starting to look like the abuse cycle but it isn't only him and there isn't any physical abuse but is there verbal and emotional abuse on both parts? If I do I don't mean to I am a very caring, giving person.
I sent him some of dr.phils information but he wouldn't even look at it. I even told him it wasn't just him, in this case it does take 2 we are both to blame but I am trying to make it work because I know if it continues this way it won't work.
Well I am having my Sleepy Time tea and I wil head to bed looks like it is going to be another sunday night that I don't sleep well.
Laurie
