Quote From: yesyoucanYou said you waited too long to get serious about what your team expected of you so you could keep your own place. All the things expected of you ARE in your own best interest.
Things are that way for all of us. OMG! If I didn't do what Lynn expects of me I'd be sitting on the street corner. It's in my best interest to have things expected of me. Even though I felt bad today jumping up from being sound asleep since Tigger and Lynn (or Lynn) locked themselves out... I had work to do and it "was" expected. I feel better for having done it even though, as you say, I felt backed into the corner offering to do yesterday.
We all might not announce privileges we will take away if we don't get results yet we all do that to get results. Even Dr. Phil suggests that and says you have to find out the currency of what is important to someone to motivate person to get on the right track. Definitely, you and we know how important your modem is to you and so does your team sounds like.
The good thing is that you know and it is spelled out what is expected. They didn't say that hoping you fail. They said that hoping you will express more care and concern for yourself and where you live. I can tell you this that even apartments will evict persons that don't maintain a specific standard. So what has been asked of you is reasonable.
It is reasonable of you to dread doing as quite a few people do yet we all know, as you do, we have to for our own good. Hopefully, you will develop the same standard of your team's so you want to on your own either from habit or genuine wanting to take care of yourself and your place.
So you have control. You know what is expected and the corner you are backed into you painted yourself into waiting, as you said, to get serious. So, now with that same paint brush (control of your behavior) you can paint yourself a path out of corner doing what has been requested.
You aren't screwed. You got lucky and some people (your team) care and take time to try to get you to care too. Here and there. If I'm off base... tell me. Yet, pretty sure you said you waited too long to get serious about keeping your place clean etc.
Much in life is a privilege earned. If you don't want to earn the privilege to live there they want to save resources for someone who does want to care. I'm rooting you on because I want you to succeed at what is best for Denise. I think your team does too. What do you think is best for Denise? First, getting what you need done there for you and your place.
That's what I was doing from time of my last post until now. Like I said, I think you have a lot going for you and ARE capable of tasks requested of you. Translate how much you want your freedom into wanting to do whatever it takes to keep your freedom especially when those things are in your best interest. Dr. Phil says, "If you don't claim it someone else will." Claim it for Denise doing what team has asked of you because I and I think everyone here not only want you to succeed and think YOU CAN.
Hugs and prayers, SEA
I've been told all day by everyone that they care about me and know what's best for me...
But I don't know why I'm so scared! I know this is easy for any other person and it should be for me, but it's just not!
I told a case manager today that there's something in my brain that
makes me not do daily maintenance when I mean and want to. I don't know
what it is, but it's there.
I'm just so...I don't know. I've been wanting to cry all afternoon, I'm
ready to cry now. I honestly don't feel I'm explaining myself well
enough now. I don't know.
All I know is that I haven't been the same since I stopped taking my
meds back in April. I had a breakdown in May, and even after I was
taken to Urgent Psychiatric Care ready to off myself, I still haven't
been regularly taking them. I only took them this morning because CM
made me.
I just gave up taking my meds because all this time, I've been hoping
for that pill that would turn me into a domestic diva, but that hasn't
happened. So what's the point?
I don't know what else to say. I really don't. I'm not suicidal. I just
know that I'm in trouble and am willing to get help and take
suggestions, etc.
I'm emotionally drained. I'm gonna go lay down.
Denise
