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Topic : Depression

Number of Replies: 74771
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:53:17 pm
Author : dataimport

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August 24, 2009, 3:16 am CDT

I understand. :( And I am here for you.

Quote From: disappearing

 

I'm very new to this site, don't know what catagory I really fit in.  I do know however, that I am very depressed and having difficulty in finding my way out.  I find myself trying to conect some how to get some sort of help.

 

I am trying to mentally and finacially survive.  Two years ago I was employed and taking care of my mother who has MS and is bedridden.  I don't know how I did it but I was very active and motivated.  I also suffer from bipolar diagnosed by my psychiatrist who had me on medication that worked very well for me and I was able to function.  But since I was layed off I no longer am able to afford it.  I worked as a Crime Victim Advocate, it was my career.  I found that I was very good at dealing with crisis situation.  I am also a volunteer firefigheter, but I have not been very involved in that in the last year.

 

My mother is the most wonderful person you could ever meet.  She has had MS for the majority of her life and is now in the progressive stage.  She never complains.  She worked until retirement so fortunately she has an income to have in home help.  All of her income goes to medical expenses and help and also gives me a small allowance since I take care of her every night.  She owns her home and we manage to keep up on bills.  Because of her income she is not eligible for any type of assistance.  Medication or very expensive.  I have cut back on weekend help.  I have very little time that I can call my own.  I have forgotten how or what it's like to sleep at least six hours straight in my own bed.  I am loosing my momentum.  Lately I feel like I could breakdown any minute.  It's a challenge just to get a day going.  I was going to use my time to at least go to school and learn a new career. but I don't even have the mental capacity or energy to get past the application stage. I would like to be able to work again to contribute finacially and plan my future.  Since all the finances go to my mother care the house has been falling apart but I'm afraid to do anything to fix things because it would be so expensive not to mention I wouldn't know where to begin.

 

I have some supportive friends but feel isolated.  Everyone will ask first how my mom  is doing then maybe ask how I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I appriciate that they care.  They always comment on what a saint I am but I don't feel like it.  I reply that she has taken care of me most of my life, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I just get so scared of the unknown future I don't know how to press on like I use to.  I miss my old life but don't know if I could return to it.  I am lost and have no direction. I am so very, very tired. I don't know if anyone will even read this. I feel that am just venting.  I haven't been able to find anyone who is quite in this same situtation.   Is there anyone out there?

I am sorry to hear that your mom's health has been declining. I know what it is like to watch someone you love with all your heart, fade away, leave us, and there is nothing we could do, humanly possible anyway, to help.  It is heartbreaking. That is the best word I could use. :(

 

My mom died two years ago. I know your frustration and saddness feeling so helpless and yet also needing to be independant and self sustained, leaves a very high mark. The expectations on one person is insurrmountable. Yet, there are those that will take on whatever life gives us.....we have to. That is our calling.

 

In time you will look back on this post. I guarantee. You will use this as a reference point to how low you actually were. You will look back and see, that even the worst possible situations, like the one you are in now, will be a part of the past. Right now you feel stressed, angry, scared. These are all normal reactions. I think depression comes after we become afraid, and angry and see that fear and anger do not work. Depression is the only way because it leaves us helpless and allows us to slow it down.

 

I have also isolated my friends and family. I am coming to realize that it was my choice to remain far from others. People that i loved have hurt me so often, that I just believe that all people will ultimately hurt me too. So I eitehr attract those that will, or stay away from people that won't. I just don't trust anyone anymore. I think this might be a better approach though then trusting everyone and getting screwed all the time.

 

But despite my choice to isolate, like you are making the choice, our choice to isolate is to protect ourselves. Relationships take work. You don't sound like you have much room in your life, in your heart, to give to anyone either. You need the nurturance. You give it all the time. You are empty. You are dried up. Emotionally.

 

I have learned just recently, that my depression was stemmed from long long feelings of anger and disappointment. I am sure you can claim those feelings as well????? Depression is the bottom. Its up from there. You won't get out of your depression until your situation changes. You need a new deck. I know you know this. But you don't feel worthy of it. When we are sad and stressed, we are not in reality. This constant detachment from reality will bring us to our knees. Then we can, and only then, open our eyes, and our hearts again to us. You are depressed because you have a reason to be. I don't know if you  pray, meditate, excercise, etc. but for now, try to stay focused and balanced. Do not add anything to your plate...o matter who asks! Don't worry about what other people think or want or do. They don't care about you as much as you should care about you. Another great lesson learned lately. And thats ok. Its ok to be selfish.

 

I hope this helps and does't confuse you more. lol

 

If you want, indicate you want my email and we can write. I think I know what you are feeling and I think if you know that you are not alone in these times of your life, alone in your thinking, you will one day look back on this post, and cry ..............because you will see how far you have come and the growth you have experienced.

 

Take care.

Kim

 

 

 
August 24, 2009, 8:27 am CDT

Hello

Hello everyone. I’m doing pretty good I guess. I’m kinda sick right now in a way. I’ve had horrible acid reflux on and off the past 2 weeks and I got medicine for it last week so yeah. I also found out I had an infection so I am on a medicine for that. But yeah I hope you all had a great weekend and a great week. I gotta get a wart removed on Friday so that might be a little painful because I have never had one before. I get to see the hot foot doctor though.

 
August 24, 2009, 5:04 pm CDT

Hi Whitney...

Quote From: littlelion0

Hello everyone. Im doing pretty good I guess. Im kinda sick right now in a way. Ive had horrible acid reflux on and off the past 2 weeks and I got medicine for it last week so yeah. I also found out I had an infection so I am on a medicine for that. But yeah I hope you all had a great weekend and a great week. I gotta get a wart removed on Friday so that might be a little painful because I have never had one before. I get to see the hot foot doctor though.

GREAT to see you... and Kim too.

I don't think it will be real painful to have wart removed. I have had thing removed and they use anesthetic so not painful. It helps you think your foot doctor is hot. LOL

I think where my bonding is crumbling where I had dental work 23 years ago that I'm getting an abscessed tooth. Painful and not feeling great yet things could be worse. Nice to have you pop in again, Whitney. Love hearing you sound so grown up and poised and managing so well. Makes me smile. Looking forward to your next touch and go here...

Texas sized Hugging prayers to you and Kim and all our new and not so new members here, there and everywhere,
SEA
xo

 
August 25, 2009, 3:00 am CDT

Hey. Thanks for the hug!

Quote From: yesyoucan

GREAT to see you... and Kim too.

I don't think it will be real painful to have wart removed. I have had thing removed and they use anesthetic so not painful. It helps you think your foot doctor is hot. LOL

I think where my bonding is crumbling where I had dental work 23 years ago that I'm getting an abscessed tooth. Painful and not feeling great yet things could be worse. Nice to have you pop in again, Whitney. Love hearing you sound so grown up and poised and managing so well. Makes me smile. Looking forward to your next touch and go here...

Texas sized Hugging prayers to you and Kim and all our new and not so new members here, there and everywhere,
SEA
xo

Here's a big ol' friendly hug from New York ! Hugggssss.

 
August 25, 2009, 3:39 pm CDT

PTSD

i am just curious why you dont address the problem of PTSD in returning soldiers.theres many of us that come home with it.you can believe the fear of just the thought of going home after a combat tour.i wanted to go back for the first 3 years after my tour,iraq was
 
August 25, 2009, 5:34 pm CDT

Hi and thank you for your service in Iraq.

Quote From: jdhogg

i am just curious why you dont address the problem of PTSD in returning soldiers.theres many of us that come home with it.you can believe the fear of just the thought of going home after a combat tour.i wanted to go back for the first 3 years after my tour,iraq was
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/

I thought I'd post above link in case you don't have it.

Welcome to the board.

Dr. Phil is asking for show ideas on twitter

http://www.twitter.com/DrPhil

I'll ask for you then if you decide you want to venture over there you can too and just might hear back.

Please note link to NEW DR. PHIL COMMUNITY above top post.

Also, here' link to Dr. Phil's new blog he answers as well.

http://blog.drphil.com/

Hugging prayers,

Glad you made it back... My dad had PTSD from WWII.

SEA
xo
 
August 25, 2009, 8:50 pm CDT

YAY! THANK YOU KIM!!!

Quote From: kimikomine

Here's a big ol' friendly hug from New York ! Hugggssss.

I do believe that's my first ever hug from New York. THANK YOU AGAIN, KIM!!!

Texas sized Hugging prayers from Dallas, Texas...
SEA
xo

P.S. Y'all pardon my putting xo beneath my name. My mom use to do that and sort of we all begin to feel like family here adopting each other into our hearts. I guess okay to do. Your thoughts?
 
August 27, 2009, 7:23 pm CDT

DR. PHIL left us all a video message on NEW DR. PHIL COMMUNITY (click on live line above top post) TY

Quote From: disappearing

 

I'm very new to this site, don't know what catagory I really fit in.  I do know however, that I am very depressed and having difficulty in finding my way out.  I find myself trying to conect some how to get some sort of help.

 

I am trying to mentally and finacially survive.  Two years ago I was employed and taking care of my mother who has MS and is bedridden.  I don't know how I did it but I was very active and motivated.  I also suffer from bipolar diagnosed by my psychiatrist who had me on medication that worked very well for me and I was able to function.  But since I was layed off I no longer am able to afford it.  I worked as a Crime Victim Advocate, it was my career.  I found that I was very good at dealing with crisis situation.  I am also a volunteer firefigheter, but I have not been very involved in that in the last year.

 

My mother is the most wonderful person you could ever meet.  She has had MS for the majority of her life and is now in the progressive stage.  She never complains.  She worked until retirement so fortunately she has an income to have in home help.  All of her income goes to medical expenses and help and also gives me a small allowance since I take care of her every night.  She owns her home and we manage to keep up on bills.  Because of her income she is not eligible for any type of assistance.  Medication or very expensive.  I have cut back on weekend help.  I have very little time that I can call my own.  I have forgotten how or what it's like to sleep at least six hours straight in my own bed.  I am loosing my momentum.  Lately I feel like I could breakdown any minute.  It's a challenge just to get a day going.  I was going to use my time to at least go to school and learn a new career. but I don't even have the mental capacity or energy to get past the application stage. I would like to be able to work again to contribute finacially and plan my future.  Since all the finances go to my mother care the house has been falling apart but I'm afraid to do anything to fix things because it would be so expensive not to mention I wouldn't know where to begin.

 

I have some supportive friends but feel isolated.  Everyone will ask first how my mom  is doing then maybe ask how I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I appriciate that they care.  They always comment on what a saint I am but I don't feel like it.  I reply that she has taken care of me most of my life, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I just get so scared of the unknown future I don't know how to press on like I use to.  I miss my old life but don't know if I could return to it.  I am lost and have no direction. I am so very, very tired. I don't know if anyone will even read this. I feel that am just venting.  I haven't been able to find anyone who is quite in this same situtation.   Is there anyone out there?

In left margin if you scroll over HOME CARE you may see some things that could be helpful to you in your life under seniors and aging "care/housing" has a link on caregiver burnout. Also, Social Workers at local hospitals know of lots of things available such as diet specific per medical condition Meals on Wheels some places, i.e., diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease etc.

http://helpguide.org/

Wishing YOU and your mom all the best.

Hugging prayers,
SEA
 
August 27, 2009, 7:29 pm CDT

Hi... I relayed your message to Dr. Phil on Twitter & you can again if you'd like to.

Quote From: jdhogg

i am just curious why you dont address the problem of PTSD in returning soldiers.theres many of us that come home with it.you can believe the fear of just the thought of going home after a combat tour.i wanted to go back for the first 3 years after my tour,iraq was
http://twitter.com/DrPhil

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/

Glad you joined us.

All the best to all our members "across the boards" and our moderators and Dr. Phil & Staff behind the boards and those beyond the boards... offline.

Hugging prayers to you and all,
SEA
 
August 30, 2009, 5:57 am CDT

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"YES I CAN!"
There's Nothing That You Can't Achieve with POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!
#Quote ~ Donna
D'Angelo

**LOVE** Is KIND and COMPASSIONATE Through The TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS Of Every Day Life.
#Quote ~ Donna
D'Angelo

There's No Greater REWARD Than Making A Difference In Someone's Life With The Kind Words "May I Help?" In Their Time Of Need.
@Quote ~ Donna
D'Angelo

For More Inspiratonal Quotes That I've Written, Visit Me At http://twitter.com/dANGELofLOVE

Bella Angel (((HUGS)))
 
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