Topic : Depression

Yeah, I drew the picture. I like to draw occasionally. I don't consider myself an artist , though. 

 

THE ROSE  

  

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.


She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose.


I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"


I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.


"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.


She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."


"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.


"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.


After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.


We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.


Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.


She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.


At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.


I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.


Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."


As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing


There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.


We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!


There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.


If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.


Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. H ave no regrets.


The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."


She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."


She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.


At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.


One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.


Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be .   

  

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.   

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

if i was in the woods who would i have there with me? i said him. if i saw an animal in the woods what would it be? i said a deer. what would it be doing? i said looking at me... if i had a house in an opening in the woods what would it look like? i said it would be a big white one with a pourch around it and a fence . if i had a table what would be on the kitchen table? i said big roses. he that the fence around my house would probly mean that i felt like i was closed in or that i needed to be kept safe from others that might hurt me. i said well do you blaim me? he got these quetions from a guy at work today.. he is going to take my answers and see what the guy says about my answers tomorrow......tim picked my dad to be in the forest with him..... actually i would have too.....and ofcourse the deer was a no brainer for all of us.... or i could have said that dad was in the woods walking towards us........i wonder what that would have ment..... hummmm..it would have ment that he is always in my heart and on my mind and i feel him right hear beside me at all times. and that i have never gotten over him being gone. i just cant do it. and dont feel it. i talk about him everyday... just like he is right here beside me.... and all of my pets that i have ever had are right here too. i even told shelly and mandy to watch the house the other day and for toby and brandy to be good too....and i told mittens to make sure frisco didnt get into the fish tank again...... i was so lonely and i missed each and everyone of them that i just had to make sure they all had a job to do. and even timmy was sleeping on tiny in there aquarim like they always did. (my 2 turtles) and i even looked outside to see if i could see cassie and velvet and the donkeys and the other horses i ever knew..... so as you can see ive really lost it...... im really over the edge...... im even talking to the people in my life that are dead. cousins, aunts friends, grandpairents and uncles.... im freeking out really bad ive just lost it........i want to be with them all so very much.. i feel them so close to me and it like i can just reach out and touch them...just strech my fingers a lil bit more and i will be there...........i want to be with them, we all want to be with them. mom hate living with out daddy. grandma wants her PA back in her arms she misses him so very much.....we are all just exsisting here and taking up space. going through the motions.. we arent living................

   

THE YEAR 1906  

   

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1906. One hundred years ago! What a difference a century makes! Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1906:   

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated thanCalifornia. (Wish they still were.)

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in theUnion.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.   

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.   

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.   

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had no college education. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."

Eggs was fourteen cents a dozen
Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Tamales were 10 cents a dozen.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used  

  

  

borax or egg yolks for shampoo. Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:  

   

1. Pneumonia and Influenza
2. Tuberculosis   

3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease

5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaskahadn't been admitted to the Union yet.  

The population of Las Vegas, Nevadawas only 30!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated fromhigh school.   

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local cornerdrugstores! Back then pharmacist said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.   

  

  

  

And I copy this from someone else without typing it myself and sent it to you in a matter of seconds! Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years .   

It boggles the mind!!  

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when   

  

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.   

  

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.   

  

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.   

  

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.   

  

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is they don't have e-mail addresses.   

  

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.  

   

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of screen.   

  

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic; you turn around to go and get it.   

  

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.   

  

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )   

  

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.   

  

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.   

  

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.   

  

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.   

  

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.  

  

  

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

hpy_campr 

I just seen your post.  I believe another member is going through this.  I don't have time to answer your post right now,  but I'm sure someone on here will come along that can relate to your situation and give you caring  support, advice, and/or a kind word to lift your spirits.  

  

  

I am sadden to read what you must be going through.  My deepest sympathy goes out to you.  I hope to talk to you later.. 

  

  

hpy_campr    

MIMI,  

 

Thanks for your reply.  

  

I signed on this morning to see how Neko/Vickie was doing. She is still very upset. It would be nice if she got an apology. Those two words [I’m sorry] can be so comforting and healing to someone that has been hurt. However, I would be very surprise if she got an apology. A person with (or displays) PA behavior that hurts someone realizes what he or she has done. However, I think to relieve them from guilt of their actions, they can turn it around so it appears they are the victim. I have seen this happen so many times and it is very frustrating to deal with. I hope this make sense. I’m still upset after reading Neko’s post this morning. 

  

I'll respond to the second paragraph of your post at a later date. Honesty is best in our real personal life, but anonymity is better in Cyberland...LOL!  

  

Take care and have a great day and evening!  

 

Hpy_campr  

  

  

 

Yes we should love ourselves but we also desire to be loved, accepted and understood by others, especially a mate. 

  

Andre and I are up in the air I guess, we have been having alot of problems and it has exculated. One problem was he has not been doing anything, around the house but most importantly with me, he will not talk to me therefore we don't discuss our problems only fight about them. He will not spend anytime with me, he won't plan anything with me. I have tried to tell him that I just want to spend some time with him. that I need attention but he refuses. When we fight he looks at me with such hate, he has said so many things, I have too that I don't know if it can be fixed. Now my ex has involved himself and more or less given me a choice my kids or Andre, he is threatening to call social services, even though the kids were not even here, in fact I called my one daughter and told her to go to her dads afterwork so she would not be here, the kids have never been in an danger and I haven't either, I did feel very trapped last night, he was yelling and fighting, I felt I couldn't leave and I didnt' know who to call both my parents have passed away, who else do you turn to? If we do stay together now and I don't even no if that is what he is thinking, so much more has to be done because I will not lose my kids but I will not let their dad control my life, that is why we are divorced to get away from him but he still manages to get right in there in my business and my life, then tells everyone that even with everything that has gone on he still cares for me. 

  

Andre is not the same person as when I met him, in the last year he has changed alot, since his brother has moved here, since then I don't matter. I guess the reason I stay with him is I know how he can be how he was, how much fun we had together and how happy we were. I don't know if it is because of his brother or my depression that I have had for at least a year maybe longer, I have no concept of time, I have no idea when it started. But I know things with us have exculated because of frustration and not know what to do or how to fix it.  

  

To me it still wouldn't take much for me to stay and work on things but this time we will have to work on it not just go along and hope for the best. 

  

Laurie 

I have an announcement to make.   

    

Please be assured this has nothing to do with my most recent posts.  But I sincerely feel that this campaign is draining me to the point that I cannot take care of my own life.  No one realizes the time and effort that I have put into this, and for one reason only, because it breaks my heart to see and hear of all of the hurt in the world.   

    

I have made my share of mistakes, and I am human.  But I am in a situation that has been more devastating than I can describe, and I do not think this is the place to discuss it.  I think most of you are aware of the presence I have tried to maintain, with true sincerity because of my heart driven, and spiritual driven campaign(s).   

    

But when one gets to a certain point and realizes that his or her efforts do not seem to be having any impact; nor does it seem that I am accomplishing anything, it's difficult to continue with that effort.  It's trying to row the boat of my life in order to just survive the vicious attacks against me, and the other things I have to deal with in life, and hold the bag at the same time.  It's almost impossible.   

    

It's a sad and difficult situation, and I have to make some decisions.  I don't want anyone to feel unappreciated, those who have supported this campaign, to DR Phil's staff for allowing me to promote this campaign on this web sight.  My strength is almost depleted, as well as my funds.     

    

So I must decide to either row the boat, or hold the bag.  And I do not mean this in any derogatory manner.  Unless something changes soon, I will have to row the boat, or else we can't eat, go to the doctor, we want have a place to live, and we will continue to drift on the perilous tides of an endless see of unforgiving predators and elements.  So another way to put it, is to sink or swim.   

    

And for me to swim with or without holding the bag is like trying to swim with a backpack filled with rocks.   I certainly do not wish to try to make my situation sound any worse than those of you who are dealing with the same situations, or similar situations.   But please consider, the undercurrents of the sea of life are stronger than I.  The tides are more than I can surf, and the oars that paddle my boat are as lead; heavy and very difficult to maneuver.     

    

I am so trapped, in a situation of trying to find my way in the darkness, and feel that if I had the strength that I once had, I could find my way.  But my strength is diminished, my supplies for survival; depleted.  And as much as I would love to stay here and continue on with this campaign, and try to answer every email, be the ox that draws the wagon to save the children, other things in life have taken that strength from me.   

    

I am a man of faith, I believe in GOD, and living a righteous life, and the most important thing in my heart and mind is to help others, and pluck them from these overpowering currents of the sea of life.  But without the strength and the resources to feed this ox, then he has no strength.  He is left to fend for himself, and the cart is too heavy, the tides are too strong, the oars too heavy, and the bag is left sitting there, waiting for me to regain my strength, or for someone else to come along and carry it for a while.   

    

I will say this.  As recent as two nights ago, while treading the waters of survival, I was given a blow, and handed a stone, far too heavy for me to hold on to, I had to let it go.  It almost, or could have taken me under so easily.  My wife and son watched and wondered if I would pull out of this one, without their help, I may not have.   

    

I cannot reveal the literal sense of the events that occurred, but I can tell you this, as I told my wife in so many words, after all of these years of struggles, never did I once consider letting go of this object that had defied my very essence of existence.  That stone's throw from Misery got a lot closer than a stone's throw, it was at my back door.   

    

I do not mean to leave you people in the dark, and I am not saying that I attempted suicide, if that's what you are thinking.  But this journey that i have been traveling for so long took a very bad turn.   

    

I can only say that my heart is here, but the motes of life have become too wide for me to cross, and the waters of the motes, shark infested.   And there is no draw bridge to speak of.  And the gap between my heart and this campaign is seamless, non-existent, but the gap between my abilities and this campaign opened up with the power of a devastating earthquake.   

    

The hurdles which I could once clear with ease have now become impossible, literally impossible to attempt.   

    

I may be back tomorrow, I may be back tonight, but the prospect doesn't look very promising.  And I carry this burden of guilt and feelings of haplessness seeing those of you, and the children of our world sinking in this huge sea of relentless undercurrent and I cannot do anything about it.  I cannot function without my medications, I cannot function with the mass of guilt and sadness that I carry on my shoulders.   

    

I wish I could say more, but I cannot at this time,     

    

God bless you all,   

    

djmatt   

It is so hard, an ex that won't mind his own business and causes trouble not just today be since the beginning of our relationship. Andre doesn't have kids so he has no clue he was brought up very different than me. 

  

I don't know if I am in denial, I realized today that tempers are running rampant because of the stress and not dealing with some of the issues one being my ex, I should have told him a long time ago to butt out. I was trying to do the right thing and not talk bad about him but he failed to do the same 

  

andres home got to go