Topic : Depression

I'll just tell the story again.  Psychwife is actually a nickname given to me by friends several years ago.  You see, my husband is a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and for some reason, my friends always asked me for advice.  I have no medical background, the closest I have come to it is sleeping with a doctor for the last 25 years.  I was an English major...so I may not have the knowledge, but at least I can make is sound good! LOL!  Anyway, I didn't mind giving advice to friends since that's what friends do, but for some reason, I began to experience total strangers opening up to me and telling me their troubles as well as their life stories.  For example, I called the phone company to report my phone being out of order and while we were having to wait for a system check, the lady on the phone proceeded to tell me all about the battle she was having with her siblings over her parent's estate, the trouble her daughter was having finding a job as a forest ranger and how much she hated her older brother.  Another time I had been hospitalized with problems with my asthma and the respiratory therapist that was on night duty started telling me about her daughter...how she was running away, how she always called the police whenever she disciplined her...all of this while I was taking a breathing treatment at 3am!!  But the final episode is what led to my name.

We have an ice machine in our wet bar in the great room.  It was broken and a repairman had come to fix it.  He was laying on the floor trying to remove the motor when my miniature dachshund started licking him.  I fussed at her for doing it and he replied, "That OK...I like the way it feels"  and then out of no where he starts with his story, and it evolved exactly like this....He first told me he was going to be going on a church retreat with a group of men...and later during the weekend, the wives and kids would be joining them for a family retreat.  Not sure why he was telling me this, I simply said , how nice...anyway, he continued on.  He then told me that this group had helped him turn his life around and he met his present wife through this group and that he was very happy.  Once again, I simply said how wonderful.  Then he said that he had been a heavy drug user and to finance his habit, he worked as a male prostitute.  Now please understand that I am happy to see someone  turn their life around, but not only was this too much information, it was very hard to picture.  You see, this guy was what we here down South call a "Bubba"...baseball cap, facial hair, big old pot belly....more like someone from the Dukes of Hazzard than Richard Gere in "American Gigolo"...anyway...he added that his first wife left him...not only for another woman, but for their pastor's WIFE.  He added, "Having your wife leave you for a woman is quite an insult for a male prostitite."

My friends started calling me Psychwife after they heard this story and the name has stuck.  Incidentally, the ice machine broke down again soon after but you can be sure I didn't call the same company.  No amount of ice is worth having to go through that again.

Sorry for the long post but that is my story. 

Go find me Psychwife's post on how she got her name and whip er up!haha Another thing I am mad at this board for is when I make an error on spelling in the message it will not let me correct! Now what's up with that! I can't be pulling my hair out today figuring out this dang 'puter today! If I do I will have to go change my mood to .... in a frenzy!haha

Now I can go read YIPPPPEEE! You see I spelled your name wrong because I can't correct up there in that dangblasted message title!%%%$$$###@@@**&&& is that cursing!haha

than the version I told last night...Sorry it is such a long post but I was tired last night and today I'm much more rested and able to type better.  But I have to admit, it makes a lot more sense today than it did last night.

I tried 3 times to post this yesterday.  Let me try ONE MORE TIME.  

 

I have been batteling depression.  There have been times in my life that i "felt" depressed.  You know that sinking feeling probally more like the blues.  But this time it is totally different. 

 

Over the past 3 years I have been helping a lot of family members mostly with health issuses.  I kind of lost myself in it all.   I have looked after my mom and so gradually I didnt even realize how much, until I was maniging her total care.  in and out of the hospital and finally in a nursing home.  My DIL had the birht of her second child  while she had meningitis.  I stayed with her for about 2 months until she learned how to care for her children again.  mom broke a hip.  and had sundowners.  Dementia set in and never quite went away.  My husband lost his job.  I totaled my car and had some back injuries. My sisters husband had a heart attack and stroke.  and passed away.  She has terribel migraine headaches.  So I started h elping manage her meds and going to the Dr with her.   My son went to war in Iraq only 3 days after his 3rd child was born by c section.  I went back and forth 100 miles to help his family.  then to deal with sons pts on returning home.  and that was about the time we put mom in nursing home with parkensons and other problems.  She was always mad at me, and didnt know where she was.    We moved my son and  his family in with us for a few weeks and during that time my DH did not speak to me.  In December this year I knew I wasnt functioning well.  I couldnt understand what people were saying unless they were talking about these issues.  I didnt mind telling anyone i know about any of th is but if anyone started asking me questions,  I felt sick and then got mad.  thats not like me at all.  I couoldnt understand written words on a page so reading anything was out of the question.  Unless of corse it was moms medical or insurance papers.  I am a quilter...  I couldnt seem to get anythingdone.  couldnt think past a first or second step.  And I didnt want to be in my sewing room at all.   Even getting myself dressed in the morning was very dificult.  I was going through the motions of life, or trying to.   I didnt remember to do the simplest of things like opening a curtain so the house wouldnt be dark.   Or burshing my teeth, or making dinner.  then one of my very close uncles died of a brain touomor.  I had been helping my aunt with some things for h im to.

 

My Dr said she would have medicated me for any one of these issues.  She diagnoised me with Grief Response Depression.  two weeks after my uncle died, my mom died.   two weeks later we got a phone call from my husbands family.  His mom died.  Two weeks later another special uncle died.    I helped my sister move into our moms house.  she is closer to me now.  and I am taking her to her Dr appts.  I am begenning to treat her just like my mom.  and I am trying not to.  A month after that my neice was dianoised with Lymphoma Stage 3  it was in her bone morrow.  So my sister and I have been going with her to her chemo treatments.

 

my Dr said it would take from 6 month to a year for me to get over this.   Believe it or not, i am leaving out a lot of stuff that happened...       I have been on Lexa pro for a while but she changed me to  Effexor and also on stratera.   I am a 54 year old woman.   I have been so glad I dont have to take any regular presreption drugs.   I hope to be able to get off of the effexor some time but for now I will trust what my Dr says.   She did send me to a Nuro Psychologist which helped me a lot.  She gave me permission to start taking care of me.   That has been a challenge.  Through all of this I have gained about 30 lbs which i had lost about 2 years ago.  Im sad that it is back  but i know i will need to start that battle again soon.

 

 

Its been about 7 months now.   I am just now starting to feel more like me.  I finished a good book yesterday.   I have been sewing.  I have been cleaning again somewhat.  lol   I am still haviang trouble with memory of some little things.  and cooking.  i have become an awful cook. 

 

Thats my story with Depression.  My story is probally not completely over yet.   I havnt cried since moms funeral.   My Dr says in time I will be able to cry again.  It feels so strange to NOT CRY even when I need to.   I m almost afraid to because last time I cried it was for about 2 hours and I was so out of controll it frightened me.  But  I know i am improving every day.  I laugh more and that is important.

 

Like i said in the begenning...  I tried to send this 3 times..   and have wirtten it 4 times now.   I am going to make sure i dont loose it this time.   cut & Paste   :-)

 

BabsZ

 

 

Great story! Listen I love the sleeping with the doctor. Wish I could find one to sleep with and let it be a psychiatrist and one that can help me lose some weight and throw in a plastic surgeon that can give me laposuction and a tummy tuck and is there any room for a few more!haha Anyway here's what you do on the next go round when folks start telling you their life story. You start telling them your life story that will fix them. I think it is because you have a great way about you that makes them feel comfortable and that's why they feel they can confide in you. I guess my hubby would call me a psycho wife because it would be because I am always acting nutty. He is as crazy as I am so we are both crazy. He keeps me laughing so I guess he's a keeper. Thanks for letting me read your story it was really funny!