Topic : Depression

Hi.

 

Not sure whom is here.  Just wishing you all well.

 

Thank you for all those whom helped me. I am OK.  Not good, but just OK.  I hope to be better.  I just want to say thank you.  I will live.  I will do my best to survive and live.  I want to check out, but, I will fight and stay

Hubby just found me on the computer and is mad.

 

Must  leave.

 

I wish you all the best and wish you well.

 

Neko/Vickie

 

 

Again, thanks.

Hi everyone!

 

I haven't been on in quite some time so I wanted to stop in and say hello & I've missed you.

 

I've been keeping myself pretty busy. When I'm not doing something I just want to sleep. Not complaining, idol mind leads to to much time to think.

 

Hoping you all have a safe & blessed CHRISTmas!

 

Heather

 

 

Good Morning!

 

 

Have a nice day!

 

JSuzanne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL @ saving those small scraps of material, I so understand that, my gramma does it all the time.  My mom used to but she has pretty much stopped sewing.  My gramma does it all the time, sewing curtains for everyone.  I did sew a lounge dress for me just to be around the house in.  I think it turned out pretty good, but I had tons of help.

 

I have wanted to try scrapbooking, and I want to try just making some stuff.  I need to invest in a sewing machine, and ohh, a friend has an embroidery machine, that looks fun.  I see soo much that looks fun, but I need to learn patience with it.

I haven't made any ornaments, but I did help make some.  You take the glass christmas ornaments, and the tops of socks.  You make the top of the socks their hat, beenie or whatever.  You give them a little wire nose and paint it orange.  You use little black paint to give them faces.  They are so cute.

 

I'm hoping that my friend will help me make 2 new stockings so that I can have some new stockings this year.  We'll see.

I am doing well.  Yesterday I went with a friend out of town.  We got home late, so I didn't log in, just showered and went to bed. I haven't been doing much of anything but babysitting and being blah.

 

I still have to get my mom a Christmas present, I have a tin to put stuff in, but I have to get the stuff.  Blah I just haven't found anything I want to put in it.  I'm too indecisive.

 I am not really one to talk about my problems and what make me depressed...but i will put what i put in my about me part of signing up

My name is Elishia and despite my first semester this year (2006) I am a very smart girl with a above average IQ. Plus I am very understanding and kind hehe.
but...

I have an abusive step mother that has tried to kill me three times in the past. The first time she chased me with a knife at the age of 7 or so for having a wet dream, I believe that is what it is called, the other two were  when she choked me. Because of this and the academic pressure she has pushed on me (such as 1000 sentece writing as punishment  during summer) I have declined in my studies and I lie to her often it isnt that i cant do it  becuase for everything i do turn in I get good grades on, It is that I am tired of having to be perfect for someone who veiw me as completely inperfect for that i see no point and i am tired. I am afraid to ask for what i want and to speak out, I am afraid of ones reaction and path that she chooses. My dad contiunely gives her chance. One day she almost went to jail for causing me to get stiches on the top of my head. The police came to my house, well it wasnt really a house which we owned. I lied bing very young but i am tired of the hurt tho the abusive part of her has gone down extremely. I wish for deliverance but find no way out. I am afraid of loosing all which i currently have and cherish and i do not want to dissapoint anyone, such as my dad and family and loving friends. I am lost and dont know where or what to do  I have bared living with her since i was little but i am tired and weak. so I keep wearing a mask and a smiling face. All I want is true happiness , love and and family. I wish for help....but will I ever find it?

Hello there and welcome.

 

Wow, what to say...the words don't come to me, but I think it is horrible what your step mother is doing, it's not right.  Don't make the grades for her, make them for you.  What grade are you in?

 

I am here if you want to talk, I should be here a while.

well here is am again. not feeling to much better but alittle maybe. i did it. i made the appointment to go talk to a theropist. tomorrow at 3. i am really quite nervous. i feel like i am being judged. like i have now reason to feel the way i do. like these are all just petty little things and just get over it. i have tried and i have told myself to stop being so stupid but i cant get away from this awful feeling. my husband does not understand at all about depression. ok you did a stupid thing. you arent puking anymore go back to work. i told him that my doctor didnt want me to go back yet. his exact word were" monica you are a basket case.you need time to get better" i told my husband that and his reaction shocked me. just go we need the money. well if he didnt gamble everything we have away we wouldnt need the money so badly. hell if he didnt gamble it all away then maybe i wouldnt feel quite as bad as i do right now. i cant say these things to him because he will just start fighting with me and i know that it will just make me feel even more down than i do right now. i cant hadle it anymore. i just hate my life. the only good things i have done are my 3 beautiful girls. and even with one of them i feel like i have screwed up my 16 year old. i have made her an appointment as well. i am just a big screw up. well i hope things get better. i know they cant get any worse. i would just like to thank all of you that has responded to me. i am sitting here bawling like a baby because of some of the things that you have said to me. it is a good cry for once. i feel like someone cares and to be honest it feels good. thanks again and i will post more later.

Its a web site where people give things away.  freecycle.com then type in your town and state.  I know it's here stateside and I've got a lot of free stuff and given a lot away.  I just got a Sears cartop carrier for our Thanksgiving vacation.  I know there have been sewing machines given away here so give it a try.  Also ask for scrapping supplies.  So many people want to recycle things they don't use anymore. 

I'm going to my friends to sew today, she has a great big studio and we have a blast.  I did get my sewing room half done yesterday so I feel good about that.  My husband never finished the roofing so we had a leak that made a mess on the floor so I needed to get that all cleaned up.  I fixed the roof in a snow storm before Thanksgiving. 

Just find something that you really want to do and go for it.  You will feel so much better because of it.  I just got some paint by number sets and I'm looking forward to starting them just for fun. 

The ornaments sound so cute.  I have an embroidery machine too, but haven't used it much.  When we get our inventory done I'm going to get it out.

Have a great day.....ggma