Topic : Overcoming Grief

Quote From: tweety_43

Carolyn,

 

I wanted to let you know how very sorry I am to hear of your loss...your words, I feel. Because you see I lost my beloved Mother in 2004...in my case this was...and still is the most difficult experience I have ever been through. She was my life..I basically lived for her and her alone. Especially since I am single with no children.

I cannot put myself in your place however, because each of us is experiencing our own pain. There was nothing in my case anyone could say or do to ease my broken spirit and heart. Even to this day and most likely for the rest of my life there will be a void in my life..not to mention  my heart...we did everything together Carolyn...it was like the movie "Driving Miss Daisey"...she did not drive so I drove her anywhere she needed to go...she also lived with me for the last 12 years of her life..so in a sense...I knew her unlike anyone else in my family. I live alone now..and still think of her every minute of everyday..I have pictures of her all over my house and often visit her little website I had set up for her when I made her funeral arrangement's. There is although one consolation for me Carolyn...and that is I KNOW that she is in a much better place and free of pain and worry..I know that we hear that all the time when our love ones pass on...but it is true my friend..please think of that..and also I know my Mom is watching over me..sometimes she even gives me signs..and sometimes things happen in my life that can be nothing but what I call a heavenly intervention. You will see Carolyn..maybe not today..nor tomorrow...but someday soon you as well will experience this. Especially if...and I believe you all were....very, very close. And also I had people tell me " it will get better with time" but I beg to differ..I believe you never get over it...but learn only to tolerate it.

So, all I can say to you Carolyn is please keep your faith strong..and remember all the good times with your Mom..the times you and her laughed and loved...I am sure..that not only my own beloved Mother but yours as well ...would want nothing else but for us to remember them with a smile on our face and love in our hearts..

I will certainly remember you in my prayers tonight..if you ever need someone to talk to Carolyn..I will be here ok?

 

God Bless You....

 

Emily

Quote From: tweety_43

Carolyn,

 

I wanted to let you know how very sorry I am to hear of your loss...your words, I feel. Because you see I lost my beloved Mother in 2004...in my case this was...and still is the most difficult experience I have ever been through. She was my life..I basically lived for her and her alone. Especially since I am single with no children.

I cannot put myself in your place however, because each of us is experiencing our own pain. There was nothing in my case anyone could say or do to ease my broken spirit and heart. Even to this day and most likely for the rest of my life there will be a void in my life..not to mention  my heart...we did everything together Carolyn...it was like the movie "Driving Miss Daisey"...she did not drive so I drove her anywhere she needed to go...she also lived with me for the last 12 years of her life..so in a sense...I knew her unlike anyone else in my family. I live alone now..and still think of her every minute of everyday..I have pictures of her all over my house and often visit her little website I had set up for her when I made her funeral arrangement's. There is although one consolation for me Carolyn...and that is I KNOW that she is in a much better place and free of pain and worry..I know that we hear that all the time when our love ones pass on...but it is true my friend..please think of that..and also I know my Mom is watching over me..sometimes she even gives me signs..and sometimes things happen in my life that can be nothing but what I call a heavenly intervention. You will see Carolyn..maybe not today..nor tomorrow...but someday soon you as well will experience this. Especially if...and I believe you all were....very, very close. And also I had people tell me " it will get better with time" but I beg to differ..I believe you never get over it...but learn only to tolerate it.

So, all I can say to you Carolyn is please keep your faith strong..and remember all the good times with your Mom..the times you and her laughed and loved...I am sure..that not only my own beloved Mother but yours as well ...would want nothing else but for us to remember them with a smile on our face and love in our hearts..

I will certainly remember you in my prayers tonight..if you ever need someone to talk to Carolyn..I will be here ok?

 

God Bless You....

 

Emily

Quote From: makenah

Carolyn: 

 

I too look around and find alot of things from my Mother.  I cannot help it.  My daughters both moved out and one room is a baby room now, for my grand daughter and the other has my antique bedroom set  in it from my mom and dads house.  The same bed spread she used and her pictures everywhere.  Along with my kids.  I do not have alot of photos of me and my Husband around because ... Well I guess I just do not.  I know there is a reason but I cannot find it yet.     Yah the get better with time thing is not kicked in for me at all.   I find myself trying anything good to try and feel better, maybe by making one person happy, I would be happy, But.... nothing yet.  I guess I just do not want to be Happy yet....   Well write back when you need to talk and emily too.  Maybe we can help each other make heads or tails... who knows.  But, I will lend an ear any time you need it,

Quote From: amhflc

I know that we will find that happiness again, I don't think we have to put a rush on it, I don't think we have to make it happen, and I don't ever want to "get over it". I know that I may hurt, but it's because I loved and was loved. Write anytime I can listen too. Thank You

 

Carolyn

Quote From: lilliesmommie

lets start this by saying that i didn't lose my mother or father but  on sept. 19 i lost my uncle due to cancer, on Oct. 2 i lost my grandfather due to cancer and the most recent was Nov. 8 my fiance lost his uncle due to a massive heart attack while he was at work. now the last one even though he was not immediate family he was still family. I just don't know how to deal with it all. I cried over them but i haven't really grieved as of this moment. everyone tells me that it will come when i least expect it. I want it to go ahead and be over with. I know that  each and everyone of them would not want for us to grieve over this, they would want us to be happy. I feel like i have to hide it all because i have a 16 month old daughter and i don't want her to see me like that. So i am being strong for her sake. I live 400 miles away from my family and even though we are close to his family i don't feel like i have a big support system here like i would with my family. His mom gets depressed at the drop of a hat. I have severe depressive disorder and i am borderline bi-polar so in some sense i know how she feels. but i can't talk to her because i don't want to upset her with how i am feeling. if anyone has any ideas of how i can take the time to grieve and not make my daughter have to go through it please let me know

Quote From: amhflc

Emily,

 

   Thank you, your words are those of one who understands where I'm at at this time in my life. That in its self is comforting to me. I loved my mother, and we were very close. My mom, my sister, and myself. We had eachother no matter what, and even though I live six hundred miles away didn't change that. She and my sister have always lived near one another, and share a very physical closeness like you and your mother shared, and I know the loss that my sister is feeling, especially of the companionship they shared. I feel fortunate that my sister and I are very close, and that we have eachother.  She has been my rock, as I hope I have been hers. We lost our mother, our best friend, and yes I must say even at times our nemisis, but we lost her together and for that I am greatful. She and I were talking this morning, and I told her about the fact that I still haven't been able to even so much as go back to class yet, and she told me that she still hasn't even gone to the store... she's been having or husband do the shopping, because even if she went she wouldn't remember what she needed. I said thank goodness it's not just me, and I really haven't lost it yet! I think sometimes you think your not feeling the grief at the moment, but your actions or inability of action reflects that grief. I don't know if that makes since or not... but like today I looked up, and it was 4 pm before I even realized it, and I hadn't done a thing, but had fully expected to. I even had a plan for the day, but I did at least make my doctors appointment, and I fully intend on being there at 8:30 in the morning, and that will be at least two things accomplished! I don't ever want to stop thinking about my mom, and I don't think I will ever not grieve her, I just want to at least be able to do the things I need to do like go to class. Pick up the phone, and make the calls I've been putting off, like the Doctors appointment I've been sick since tuesday a week ago with Bronchitis. I know that doing those things will become things that I just do, and that I will go on living, I just have to get past this freeze, but even being fully aware of the matter still did not get me any further today than I was yesterday. I also hear what your saying about your mom being with you. I know my mother hasn't left me, and she has sent me a sign that she's with me the very night she passed. I also know there is no way I could ever get over the missing her being here. I am at peace with the fact that my mother is no longer hurting, and that what ever peace she may not have had on this earth she has now found. I am lost right now, but I know I will have help finding my way back not only by her, and my sister, but by people like you, and places like this where I can let out my thoughts, and make more room. Thank you, and I will say a prayer for you tonight. Your mother was very lucky to have a friend in her daughter.

 

Carolyn

Quote From: bluelily87

Hey Sandi!

Don't be afraid to write because of how you feel...  if anything, I would think that would more of a time to write... to express the way you are feeling and what type of thoughts come up while you are feeling that way. I am sorry that you feel it should have been you instead... I haven't quite felt that way, but more like it should have been both of us or neither. I feel Justin was a wonderful person, but I wouldn't want him going through what I have/am. I am sure you have much worth, just our talks have help me a lot, so right there you are worth a lot to me :) I have been able to recount how wonderful Justin is, and I guess it all depends on what my mood is, whether or not I can say it happily, or burst into tear because of what i have lost.

My dad's visit was wonderful. I am glad i got to see him, and he helped me with issues I have been having about justin.... I get to go see him just after christmas, so I am happy about that also.

School is soon to be finished for this semester :) yay!!! I tend to get sick of my classes about half way through, and just want them to be done with. Next semester should be good!

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, but I should go back to my school work. Hope you are feeling better.

Quote From: amhflc

Emily,

 

   Thank you, your words are those of one who understands where I'm at at this time in my life. That in its self is comforting to me. I loved my mother, and we were very close. My mom, my sister, and myself. We had eachother no matter what, and even though I live six hundred miles away didn't change that. She and my sister have always lived near one another, and share a very physical closeness like you and your mother shared, and I know the loss that my sister is feeling, especially of the companionship they shared. I feel fortunate that my sister and I are very close, and that we have eachother.  She has been my rock, as I hope I have been hers. We lost our mother, our best friend, and yes I must say even at times our nemisis, but we lost her together and for that I am greatful. She and I were talking this morning, and I told her about the fact that I still haven't been able to even so much as go back to class yet, and she told me that she still hasn't even gone to the store... she's been having or husband do the shopping, because even if she went she wouldn't remember what she needed. I said thank goodness it's not just me, and I really haven't lost it yet! I think sometimes you think your not feeling the grief at the moment, but your actions or inability of action reflects that grief. I don't know if that makes since or not... but like today I looked up, and it was 4 pm before I even realized it, and I hadn't done a thing, but had fully expected to. I even had a plan for the day, but I did at least make my doctors appointment, and I fully intend on being there at 8:30 in the morning, and that will be at least two things accomplished! I don't ever want to stop thinking about my mom, and I don't think I will ever not grieve her, I just want to at least be able to do the things I need to do like go to class. Pick up the phone, and make the calls I've been putting off, like the Doctors appointment I've been sick since tuesday a week ago with Bronchitis. I know that doing those things will become things that I just do, and that I will go on living, I just have to get past this freeze, but even being fully aware of the matter still did not get me any further today than I was yesterday. I also hear what your saying about your mom being with you. I know my mother hasn't left me, and she has sent me a sign that she's with me the very night she passed. I also know there is no way I could ever get over the missing her being here. I am at peace with the fact that my mother is no longer hurting, and that what ever peace she may not have had on this earth she has now found. I am lost right now, but I know I will have help finding my way back not only by her, and my sister, but by people like you, and places like this where I can let out my thoughts, and make more room. Thank you, and I will say a prayer for you tonight. Your mother was very lucky to have a friend in her daughter.

 

Carolyn

Quote From: tacsum

hello from down under, I can relate to the grief lots of us have. I thought that after dad had died, never coming out of icu and consiosness I was so sad but then six months later when mum died , who had been ill for nearly 10years and us kids kept her going by telling her the next birth of her great grandchild was coming we kept her going for years, it was devestating to us to lose them both, I collapsed and had a week in icu and hospital from the shock, Dear God, there were times, i didn,t want to go on anymore, but the family and prayers kept me going but some days are so hard still even though for dad it has been two years and mum in november two years, each day is a struggle, I have moved to be near our children and grandchildren which is ok but sometimes friends are easier to talk to and i really miss them all. My husband supports me emotionally even though at first it must have been hard too for him, the emotions and thoughts of  a hard upbringing is still in the back of my mind and being the eldest child and trying to be courageious for my sister and brother was very hard for me . Why is it hard to show emotions and to stop trying to be strong in front of everyone one when i need to cry and feel sad and the memories that keep coming into my eyes. Each time we visit down south from where we lived, i always have a weep when coming close to home , when does the pain go, never i guess, my sister and i went to the cemetary and put a dove and sea shells around the grave site, but that made me feel so sad again, my sister who was the main care giver of both mum and dad is handling it so much better than i am, my brother is so so about it, we don,t talk much about mum and dad, maybe that is the problem, we should open up more, help anyone, grief is so hard., bye from rose. from mudgee australia