Topic : Overcoming Grief

I am 53yr old women and i've been battling ending it all for 10yrs since my husband died...i'm in debt, broke, live with my sister in a remote area, i have 2 grown children one i dont see due to her husband he's controlling i try , my son  is married but lives in another state his wife is depressed......

my sister offered a room , we havent lived together since we was children and its a strain sometimes.....for both of us..my brother in law also, rents so exspensive here i dont earn enough to cover it....i feel i was born to be unhappy, my mother tried to kill us when we was young and she suffers depression.....i've seen a doctor and he says i'm suffering post traumatic stress but he hasnt helped me, that was in the city a couple of years ago....i dont see any hope other than death for me, it seems like my only option...its a tiny outback town with no professionals here..i feel i've just made another mistake again since he died.....

when he died i became anerexic, then i married out of loneliness someone who threatened my life and has threatened to hunt me down for leaving.......and now i'm so depressed i barely function..i can see no way out anymore..my depression swells my joints and i have constant panic attacks........has anyone else been in the same place as i am could you give me some advice please i cant hold on much longer

I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you're going through. I'm in my 40's and lost my mother three years ago to a sudden heart attack. I dearly loved my mother, my best friend. I cherished her, and I too didn't know how to live without her in my life. I miss my mother every day and don't know if that will ever stop. But I also know that my mother would not want me to be consumed with sadness. I know she is now a part of God's kingdom, and her joy and happiness know no boundaries. These things I believe with all my heart. So when I'm really missing her I think about how she would want me to feel about where she is right now, and I know she would want me to know and feel her joy and happiness. My mother gave me a lifetime of good memories and those are in my memory bank. So when I feel sad I think back on my good memories, and my mother to this day still brings a smile to my face even when I'm missing her. And I realize how awesomely blessed I am to have had this special woman for my mother who still brings me comfort even though she has passed on.

I didn't think it was my mother's time to pass away. I know her doctors were negligent in diagnosing a heart condition. But I know that this won't bring her back. I have come to accept that God makes no mistakes, and we will all pass when God determines it's our time. So while the doctors were negligent, maybe God put her in their hands because that was his way of bringing her to him. If we all died a "right " way I don't think life would make much sense. I don't know if any of this helps you in any way. But when I began to look at my mother's loss from a different perspective, I began to feel some peace with her loss. I'll always miss my mother very much, but I have the peace of knowing that she's full of joy and happiness  in the most perfect place. I hope you too find peace.

I wonder every so often now. Its like a deadline of life, that I need to do everything possible before it happens and then just give up in the end. Everything my mother has thought of me has fallen apart, now I only live under a guise and at home of course.

It will not be possible to overcome the grief of my mothers death, let alone survive. The moment I hear the words, "Your mother has passed", that is the end of my life. I don't know if there is a name for it to be so emotionally attached to something or someone, but the bond I share with her is too strong, and when its cut, my soul will be cut from the body.

I always say anti-depressants will kill me, I've done research but I am not going to take them because it will probably overcome my will and cause me to commit suicide.

I found out a couple of weeks ago that my Father has ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease).  It has been so devasting.  In the last two months alone he has lost mobility of both his arms.  To give some history:

On January 12, 2002, my Mother had a stoke.  It was truely a miracle that she survived.  She was in ICU for over 6 months.  She was only 69 when this occurred.  My Dad took it upon himself to tend to ALL my Mom's needs.  She lost her ability to speak but can understand EVERYTHING...you can only imagine the frustration my Mom lives with on a day to day bases not being able to communicate.  My parent's just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversay this past September 2007.

I have three siblings and we are all struggling with the end that my Father will face leaving this world and going to Heaven.  I feel so selfish with all my tears being that I'm not the one who will suffer all the physical pain my Father will be facing over the next several months.  The worst part for myself and my oldest brother is we live on the other side of the Country.

All of this seems to be unjust...I'm trying to figure God's plan.  Who will look after my Mother....she is so close to my Father...their relationship reminds me a lot (of what I can see on TV) of Dr. Phil & Robin's. 

I'm looking for ANY words of comfort ... I have been very blessed to have grown up in a "Family First" environment.  We have not experienced ANYTHING like this....I'm sooooo close to my parents....help please....

Kathy

My step-dad had a stroke last year. He was left paralized on one side and unable to speak. He has raised me since i was 1. Him and my mom never married but, they always told every one they were. After his stroke his family came and took him away. We are unable to see him or speak to him. We have been told if we try to see him we will be arrested. There's nothing we can do b/c they never married.

How do i deal with losing him like this? It's like he has been kidnapped and noone else cares to help us.

I have tried to come to terms with the fact that i will never see him again, but i can't. I saw him everyday for 27 years, he helped me raise my daughter. He is suppose to be here where he is happy.

The last time we saw him was in Nov. and he cried and cried b/c he wanted to come home. He would shake his head and cry when we asked if he was afraid of his family. He is helpless and i am helpless.. How do i deal with this????

Im the mother of a 12 year old son. When he was two his father got full custody of him. Three years ago his dad became addicted to meth. His father called me up on december 5 and said he was in trouble and i needed to take our son. Two days later his dad killed himself. My son is so hurt and confussed. My heart hurts for him. I am seeking help for him but as a mother i want to do more.If anybody his any words or adverce please write back.

All i could do was cry when i read your message. your a beautiful person and a very strong woman. I dont know you our family but i will say daily prays for you. Dont give up PLEASE. I think the children could use so counsling. It really helped my son after his dad died. Alot of places will do it for free for the children.You are in my thoughts and prays.You and your husband are special people to take care of these children there really need you two right know. Time heals all woms. It will get better for all of you. Take one day at a time.

                         GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY