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Topic : 09/04 More Feuding In-Laws

Number of Replies: 55
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Created on : Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 03:51:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's the invasion of the in-laws! Despite an intervention by Dr. Phil, a couple and their respective mothers still struggle to get along. See how Ernie and Kerry are doing, and what happens when their moms agree to set their differences aside and meet for coffee. Since the last show, Kerry says her relationship with her mother-in-law has never been better! Unfortunately, her relationship with her own mother has never been worse. Plus, Alaina and Ray are married with two children, and they all live with Ray's mother, Eda. The two women are constantly at each other's throats. Is this family too close for comfort? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 9, 2006, 10:49 pm CDT

09/04 More Feuding In-Laws

Quote From: imgja45

Alaina....what do you mean "it wasn't until it was too late...", you obviously jumped into this thing too quickly---didn't you know that he was living with his mother at 40 years of age?  The problem is Ray sounds like he's very lazy (or he would WANT to provide a place for his own family) and his mother & you are enablers.  I would have taken the kids & left a long time ago.  There are plenty of single mothers who take care of themselves & their children.  Get a job and make sure everyone knows that you are planning a life for yourselves, if necessary.  This is an horrible example to set for children---boys or girls!  If he really was serious, he would have gotten a job years ago; not wait until he's on national tv to announce it.  I wouldn't be thankful of your mother-in-law--she's just making it easy for him to not grow up....and so are you.

When I say it was too late, I mean we had already gotten married and had kids.  Before we got married he was living with his wife but I didn't know it was his wife because he told me that he was divorced when i met him.  I was never told we would be living with his mom, that was the last thing I ever expected!... When he finally admitted to his lies, he said, don't worry I will make it up to you....everything will be okay, I promise.  I was in a different country so there is no way I would have known or found out about any of his lies.

 

This show was taped a year and a half ago and I did leave him 3 months after we did the show, because nothing had changed and it was way too stressful.  Not only did I have his mother, but I had his ex mother in law coming over and I had his ex wife coming over....it was unbearable, they are all the same, very disrespectful people.  Then he got a job and then he was able to get a cute little apartment, which we still live in and I take the kids over to see his mother every once in a while.  Now, he is unemployed AGAIN and has been for three months now and there is just no stability nor is there a safe and secure feeling.  I'm waiting for the day (and it might be soon) that he tells me that we will have to live with his mother again...well, I absolutely refuse to do it again...I won't!  The thing is his ex wife is living in the house they lived in together he is legally supposed to pay $1600/mo to her and is supposed to sell when their youngest turns 18 in 5 years, and the house should be worth about $600 000.  And the house that his mother lives in is in our name, however we don't get it until she passes away.  That house has the potential to be worth another $500 000, until then we are struggling on a monthly basis waiting for kids to grow up or someone to pass away.

 

I'm actually not sure how much more of this I can take.  I'm thinking since  he has so much equity, maybe I can get him to give me a reasonable settlement and then be done with it.  Enough that would allow me to buy a house for me and the kids.  Its terrible worrying if we are even going to still be living here or not next week.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening and responding....I'm working on a plan, I hope that its successful for me and my children.

 

p.s.  Some of these posts are BRUTAL!!!

 

 

 
September 11, 2006, 7:26 pm CDT

09/04 More Feuding In-Laws

Quote From: austinmiles

When I say it was too late, I mean we had already gotten married and had kids.  Before we got married he was living with his wife but I didn't know it was his wife because he told me that he was divorced when i met him.  I was never told we would be living with his mom, that was the last thing I ever expected!... When he finally admitted to his lies, he said, don't worry I will make it up to you....everything will be okay, I promise.  I was in a different country so there is no way I would have known or found out about any of his lies.

 

This show was taped a year and a half ago and I did leave him 3 months after we did the show, because nothing had changed and it was way too stressful.  Not only did I have his mother, but I had his ex mother in law coming over and I had his ex wife coming over....it was unbearable, they are all the same, very disrespectful people.  Then he got a job and then he was able to get a cute little apartment, which we still live in and I take the kids over to see his mother every once in a while.  Now, he is unemployed AGAIN and has been for three months now and there is just no stability nor is there a safe and secure feeling.  I'm waiting for the day (and it might be soon) that he tells me that we will have to live with his mother again...well, I absolutely refuse to do it again...I won't!  The thing is his ex wife is living in the house they lived in together he is legally supposed to pay $1600/mo to her and is supposed to sell when their youngest turns 18 in 5 years, and the house should be worth about $600 000.  And the house that his mother lives in is in our name, however we don't get it until she passes away.  That house has the potential to be worth another $500 000, until then we are struggling on a monthly basis waiting for kids to grow up or someone to pass away.

 

I'm actually not sure how much more of this I can take.  I'm thinking since  he has so much equity, maybe I can get him to give me a reasonable settlement and then be done with it.  Enough that would allow me to buy a house for me and the kids.  Its terrible worrying if we are even going to still be living here or not next week.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening and responding....I'm working on a plan, I hope that its successful for me and my children.

 

p.s.  Some of these posts are BRUTAL!!!

 

 

Okay,  so you stayed with him after you found out he lied , WHY?  Once a liar, always  liar.  Get out now.  The in-laws are an issue, but the fact that you are waiting for someone to DIE to get an inheritance is repulsive.  Are you working?  Can you?  Get a job, support yourself, and stop relying on him to make the money, and take care of you.  Take care of yourself.  Make sure that your kids are taken care of, and to hell with everyone else. 

I lived next to the in laws for over 10 years.  Both my mother and father in law passed away in the last 3 years.  I would give anything to have them back, and give the money back that my husband inherited.  Just because my girls are missing their grandparents, and there is no way to get that back. You can control this situation.  You are a strong, capable woman.  Act like it.  Tke charge of your life.  Good luck, keep your chin up.

 
September 17, 2006, 9:37 am CDT

More Feuding Inlaws

It was refreshing to see the mother of a son not getting the brunt of the blame in an inlaw problem. The saying that a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life and a son is a son is a son till he takes a wife is such a true statement. It is isn't right it just is and there are a lot of broken hearted mother's of sons because of that fact. I hope that someday this will change (maybe because of shows like "Dr Phil" bringing things like this to the forefront). We (mother's of sons) love our children and grandchildren as much as anyone else and we deserve the same amount of tolerance and respect and participation in our sons and grandchildrens lives as anyone does.
 
September 26, 2006, 5:00 pm CDT

09/04 More Feuding In-Laws

Quote From: gladiolus

It was refreshing to see the mother of a son not getting the brunt of the blame in an inlaw problem. The saying that a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life and a son is a son is a son till he takes a wife is such a true statement. It is isn't right it just is and there are a lot of broken hearted mother's of sons because of that fact. I hope that someday this will change (maybe because of shows like "Dr Phil" bringing things like this to the forefront). We (mother's of sons) love our children and grandchildren as much as anyone else and we deserve the same amount of tolerance and respect and participation in our sons and grandchildrens lives as anyone does.

You sound like one of the 'good MILs' - not like the one I have. Never in my life will I let that woman back in to our lives. I have forgiven her because she doesn't realize what she's doing- but I have no desire to reconsile anything with her.

 

There are some inlaw relationships that work and others that are just plain unhealthy. If everyone got to have counseling Dr.Phil style - well then the world would be a better place. :)

 
September 26, 2006, 5:08 pm CDT

09/04 More Feuding In-Laws

Quote From: fyre98

Eda cried "Respect me as a grandmother!"

 

Maybe Eda should respect Alaina as a mother! Respect is earned..NOT Given..Both Alaina and Eda need to remember "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

AMEN! Can I get you to come over and drill that into MY inlaws's heads please!!!!

 

 I have always treated mine with respect and helped them with all sorts of things that most ppl think me crazy for and still they talk nasty about my children, my husband and myself. I can't win with them - so I've just pulled our family as far back from them as possible. There is no sense in staying where ppl are unhealthy - family or no.

 
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