Topic : I Want Plastic Surgery Because...

I had a breast reduction in April of 2004. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I went from a 42DDD to a 38C. I did lose some weight, but now I want to have my stomach tighted up. I have 3 kids, and my stomach is so streched. I am very self consious of how I look. I work out at a ladies gym 3 -5 times a week.  

My insurance paid 90% of my reduction and now I dont have pain in my back, or sore breasts.  

I just wish I didnt have all the excess skin on my stomach.  

My entire life I had been a thin person. My nickname by some was "skinnyminnie".  Famy and friends would always ask will I ever gain weight.  As a child my father would buy weight supplements called "weight-on" to help me gain weight. I always wanted to gain weight because I was thin and seeing my friends with nice shapes made me feel inferior about myself. As a adult I was still small but was satisfied with my weight because I an adult and understood life more. Also, my family has historie of Diabetes, Heart conditions, Breast Cancer and other medical conditions that I know being overweight can affect so I was happy with being small. In 2001, there were some changes in my life, I quit smoking, I was living a very stressful home life, my oldest child became incarcerated at age 22. During that time I began to gain weight without me realizing I was gaining it, I looked in the mirror one day and I looked like I was ready to deliver a baby. When I was actually pregnant with all three of my children I weighed no more than 155 each.  At this point I was weighing 198 pounds, I was having back pains, trouble breathing and could barely walk two blocks. Knowing my body couldn't handle all that weight. I began to exercise, joined a gym, purchased exercise equipment, used diet pills, purchased diet and health books, everything there was to try to loose the weight. Nothing worked, my husband lost all interest in me, he cheated on me more than once. I couldn't wear any of my clothes or coats. I began to really feel hopeless, psychologically I felt real bad because I had never experienced anything like that. Today, I have lost all the weight throughout my body which really displays the very large amount of weight around my body. I  really look pregnant because I now have this small body with a very large waist. People always ask me if I am pregnant, a co-worker congradulated me one day and I asked why and he said because I was expecting. My mother-in-law's neighbor congraduated her on becoming a grandmom, she thought I was pregnant.  This is the most embarrassing thing I have every experienced in my entire life. I've been feeling so bad about my weight, I have thought about just taking a knife and cutting it off, if I thought it wouldn't hurt. I suffering from breathing problems, I can't sleep comfortable at night, my children tells me all the time I need to lose weight. My husband use to tease me. When seeing a marriage counselor, he told the counselor that he was attracted to me when we met because I was "thin", my self esteem became lower than it already was. In addition to our marital problems, this just add to it. I tried getting loans of every kind to pay for it.    

This is why I want Plastic Surgery, it's very important to me, I need help.   

In june of 2003 I underwent gastric bypass surgery at the age 48. In the first 18 months I lost 160 pounds. Going from a whopping 308 to 148 pounds now. I presently wear between a size 4 to a 10 depending on the make or maker. ( Strange that at 148 #'s I can fit into a 4 -- it's the extra skin that adds the extra weight)  During my entire  teenage years I was called moose,( one of the nicer nick names) and I only wore a size 14 then. I am not unhappy with the results from my surgery and the hard work that I put into it.I AM THRILLED ---  I eat my protein, small amounts of veggies and fruits. I take my vitamins, calcium chews and B12. I walk 4 to 5 miles most every day. But unfortunately from the many years of being overweight, my skin was stretched terribly. When I raise my arms, I could literally pass as a bat woman. My legs look like they belong on an elephant, the skin hangs down and is all wrinkled.I do a very good job of hiding the excess skin with the type of clothing I wear, But I  long to wear sleeveless shirts, dresss  or mid thigh length shorts. I presently will not allow anyone to see me with out at least 3/4 length sleeves, capri pants or a skirt dress that is mid calf length. I love the water and the beach, but a swim suit is completely out of the question, I don't believe that they make a turtleneck long legged one. I knew going into the surgery that I would never be a "bathing beauty" I had the surgery ro improve my health. Since the surgery I no longer have the need for Prilosec, Celebrex or High Blood Pressure meds.    

I would love to be able to wear most any type of clothing. And not have to cover my bat wings and elephant legs. Does anyone have any suggestions? I really don't want to go into debt to cover the expenses. My insurance will not cover cosmetic surgeries.   

I have been divorced for 28 years, and I'd love to have a relationship, but I could never allow anyone to see all my excess skin.   

 My husband and I became a couple when I was 15 yrs old. We had are first baby boy when I was only 16. We have now been married for 6 yrs and have been togather for almost 9. We have three wounderfull children. I would of never imagined the distruction my body could go through. The extra skin on my stomach is quit discusting. I also got Bells Pouse when I was only 5 mon pregnate with my second baby.I lost my body at such a young age. When I look at the mirror it makes me cry inside, I didnt have any expectaions of the results after they were born. Nobody else in my family has had any stretch marks, or extra skin. The Bells Pouse was compleatly a surprise to me. I love my family and do not regret any of my children, are family would not be complete with out one of them. My husband and I have a wounderfull relationship, we have beat the odds of a young couple. He is truly my bestest friend. He says it is not important to him, if I get plastic surgery. What ever makes me happy. I now hate my body and only want some self esteam back. I cant stand to even be naked by my self, I try to avoid mirrors. And worst of all I like all lights out in the bedroom, My husband dosnt like that. I dont want to change me , I just want me back. My life revolves around my family, I wish I could do something for me. Thats why I would love to have plastic surgery.  

Dear Mother:  I can understand where you are coming from and maybe as a man I can not fully appreciate your feelings as a women; however It is obvious your husband loves you and that is number one.  People who look down upon you because your not the image they expect a woman 

should be;  tells me these people lack character.  I've told my wife, "its not what's between your shoulders or between you legs that matters, but what's between your ears."  We all wish our bodies could be different, but "what you see is what you get" and if your confident about who you 

are, just feel sorry for those who lack understanding and comapssion.  With six children, it sounds 

like you have  done well.  Whatever you decide, you have my vote. Ed 

In my opinion, getting surgery would fix two things - it would make me match my own idea of attractiveness a litte more closely and maybe people would leave me alone?  I believe it would make me feel better about myself which - at the end of the day - is what an awful lot of this elective surgery is for.   

I feel like an attractive person but (in my opinion) I am not.  Its strange - I feel great until I look too hard in the mirror and then I focus on all my 'flaws'.  You know, those things we all have that we dont like?    

But, and its a big but, part of the reason I feel so bad now is because of the negative feedback I have received from people in my life.  As a gangly teenage girl I often got mistaken for a boy.  That became a real issue for me and is the thing to this day that will upset me instantly.  Unfortunately, I am 6ft tall and quite densely muscled (Dad was a heavyweight boxer!).  I am also mixed-race and got teased terribly at school.  At that time, I was the only mixed-race kid in my town - besides my much younger sisters. So I put up with a lot of racial abuse.   

As I got older, I found my feet as a woman and felt attractive and desired most of the time.  I got my fair share of positive attention and felt that, even though I wasnt pretty, I was attractive.  That was until about 14 years ago when I was in a pub with my then boyfriend, and was chatting to a couple of guys while he got a drink.  I said the guy at the bar was my boyfriend - and both guys looked stunned.  It turned out that, although they were no more than two feet away from me, they thought I was a guy and they were surprised I was so open about my homosexuality!  Pretty devastating...   

The most upsetting incident was a couple of years ago.  I was in a nightclub with my friend and heard a guy tell her I was a 'freak'.  Maybe that word is kryptonite for me but it absolutely devastated me.  I asked him why he would say something like that - all the while fighting back the tears.  The guy looked ashamed and shuffled away.  I starting crying at that point, in the middle of the nightclub and continued for about 3 days solid. I can barely think about it now for any period of time without becoming very upset.     

On a slightly more paranoid note, I often catch people talking about me openly.  In this case its mostly women, whispering to their friends and then they all turn to look.  If I am feeling positive, I say to myself its the fact I am so tall etc.  If I am in a negative frame of mind, all the bad memories rush to the surface and I get quite upset.  There have been a few other incidents like this but none so intense.  Normally its sarcastic humour rather than genuine confusion - like one guy saying to his friend 'is that a man or a woman?'   

And of course ALL these things have happened when I feel I am looking my best - when I am out socialising.  My hair is done and I have on make-up as well as what I hope is a flattering outfit.  (I must also say here, I have had plenty of postive reactions from people too.  Not so many now I am heavier and older but thats to be expected).   

I have tried positive thinking etc to balance out these negative comments - ie nobody is universally attractive and its just bad luck on my part that I have heard what people have said about me - but a person can only take so much before it really starts to impact on their confidence.  Maybe I AM really unattractive?? And no amount of postive thinking will change that harsh fact? I mean I can try to convince myself I am 5 feet tall but that wouldnt be true - right?? So positive thinking can only take me so far lol.  Counselling didnt help - but I guess I was asking the therapist for the wrong thing?  All I want is to feel good about myself and my appearance.   

I dont need people to find me attractive but I think its everyones right to feel they are - and I dont want any further abuse - not based on my looks anyway.     

I would like surgery - but I guess this story would make me appear to be an unsuitable candidate.  But I imagine I could deal with the negativity better if I didnt - deep down - believe I WAS unattractive.  The two main things are my strong nose and heavy chin - I feel they make me look a little masculine and with my height, that isnt a good combination.  I am a typical woman so those are by no means the only things that I am not totally happy with but I can live with the others lol.     

Sorry this is so long but it felt real good to just get it all out.