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Topic : Dating After 40

Number of Replies: 1120
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 12:18:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Whether you're new to the dating scene due to a breakup, or just still looking for Mr. Right, dating after 40 has some unique challenges. Share your stories, experiences and advice here.

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January 11, 2009, 10:59 pm CST

well I am newly divorced and 40

I am newly divorced and 40. I have been married most of my adult life. My first marriage and the father of my 3 children, I was married at 19 years old. I slept on the couch for 4 years before I left. He told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was doing everything. Taking care of the kids, keeping the house, paying the bills and then sleeping on the couch. He then got abusive. My second husband I supported 5 of the 7 years we were together. I get sick with Multiple Sclerosis and cannot work anymore and then he becomes abusive. So far I have started to go out into the dating scene and all I find is men want one night stands. HELLO!!! I am a lady. A southern lady. With morals and values. The dating game I have found is harsh. Yes I have found many men who are attracted to me but they only want only one thing. I also am so tired of the lies. Why can't men be truthful? This one man asked me out and I met him. He told me he was 41 and then he later tells me he is 51. It wasn't the matter of his age. It was the lie. If they will lie to you to start off with then they will continue to lie. There goes the red flag.
 
January 31, 2009, 12:36 am CST

No Luck Dating at 42

Quote From: irisheyes42

I have not had any luck dating over 40.  I have trust issues with men.  I also have trust issues with the internet dating sites. I live in a town with half seniors and half college students.  My married gal friends rarely do anything with me unless I think of something.  I need help
I'm 42 female, no luck in the dating department here either. I've tryed the online dating sites but no even a nibble,I find that being divorced for many years and a  mom is hard to messure up out there. What's the deal ? Dating is so over rated these days and scary at times.
 
January 31, 2009, 12:59 pm CST

Dating after 40 has not been that hard....

Quote From: kwindshawn

new topic-hmmm.  Dating after 40? Nonexistent.  Anyone else having any luck?

My experience has not been that hard to find a date...it has been hard to find someone that wasn't just looking for a "casual" relationship however...some men were bold enough to tell me they were married and just looking for a little "fun."  I have been dating for the last 6 yrs and I will be 43 in May...am told I look like I'm in my 30's and take very good care of myself...I have a strong personality and am very outgoing.  I am a professional woman who sits on many Boards in my local community and love to socialize....
 
February 13, 2009, 11:54 am CST

You're kidding me!

Quote From: philfan46

Yeah...I know more now than ever before. I had to go through hell to get here..tho:) I have been single for almost four yr's.. now. I had a relationship for about four monthes, with some one that I met on line. Well..I thought that I had met my soul mate? Turns out that he was living with some one the whole entire time!! It has been the only relationship that I've had.

I would really like to meet "my soulmate", it seems that they don't exist? All the men on line seem to just want to.."get laid"??? I'm so sick of it.

  Why can't I just find someone who is genuine? ..where is he?:):)

There are plenty of honest genuine guys out here at all ages. They are the guys you did not pick because they were too easy for you to get. You know; the guys that mailed you several times trying to get your attention, The guys that when you lowered your so called standards to go out with them they showed up on time with a car and dressed nicely. They bored you with their consideration and reliability. You picked the bad boy so you could complain about it later.
 
February 13, 2009, 12:02 pm CST

No.

Quote From: boaterchick84

My experience has not been that hard to find a date...it has been hard to find someone that wasn't just looking for a "casual" relationship however...some men were bold enough to tell me they were married and just looking for a little "fun."  I have been dating for the last 6 yrs and I will be 43 in May...am told I look like I'm in my 30's and take very good care of myself...I have a strong personality and am very outgoing.  I am a professional woman who sits on many Boards in my local community and love to socialize....
You are either not looking or giving nice guys a chance. I know too many of us out here looking for something stable.
 
February 13, 2009, 12:03 pm CST

No.

Quote From: sweetvonnnie

I am newly divorced and 40. I have been married most of my adult life. My first marriage and the father of my 3 children, I was married at 19 years old. I slept on the couch for 4 years before I left. He told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was doing everything. Taking care of the kids, keeping the house, paying the bills and then sleeping on the couch. He then got abusive. My second husband I supported 5 of the 7 years we were together. I get sick with Multiple Sclerosis and cannot work anymore and then he becomes abusive. So far I have started to go out into the dating scene and all I find is men want one night stands. HELLO!!! I am a lady. A southern lady. With morals and values. The dating game I have found is harsh. Yes I have found many men who are attracted to me but they only want only one thing. I also am so tired of the lies. Why can't men be truthful? This one man asked me out and I met him. He told me he was 41 and then he later tells me he is 51. It wasn't the matter of his age. It was the lie. If they will lie to you to start off with then they will continue to lie. There goes the red flag.
You pick the bad boys. Try giving the guys who show a genuine interest in you a chance.
 
February 19, 2009, 9:46 am CST

UGH!!

  I am 39, divorced twice, first husband is the father of my two sons, 14 & 11.  First marriage (9yrs) was physically abusive, second marriage was emotionally draining due to alcoholism (did not show its ugly head til we were married for 1 and half years) divorced after 8 years of trying to get through it.  It started with me putting in more than my share, I felt he was down and needed be to pick up the pieces for now to get him through what ever it was, but then turned into perscription drugs as well, and became our way of life, not just a period to work through.  It has been two years since my husband moved out, and I am ready for a real relationship.  Someone that is willing to put in as much as I am.  I recently found Mr. Right, and he is also 39, we get along fabulously, he has a great job, and is looking for all the same things as I am.  Sounds perfect, and I thought it was.  I told him early in the relationship that I had to have a hysterectomy about 6 years ago, and the other day (valentines day) he had to tell me that he couldn't go any further because he really wants to have a traditional family with kids of our own.  We cried together and talked and that was that.  We are still very close friends, and I am so sad that it came down to this.  I feel like he was the absolute perfect man for me.  I have decided to continue to be around as we board horses at the same barn, and just be myself, and see what happens from here.  If it is meant to be it will be, and if not I am still going to respect him and his honesty.  UGH!!!!
 
March 8, 2009, 9:07 am CDT

Dating After 40

I have been divorce for 1year and a half going on two years I have been married   for 15 years to my first

husband  why is it hard for some ladies to find a date

 
March 8, 2009, 1:41 pm CDT

Ok.

Quote From: tomnotmot

You pick the bad boys. Try giving the guys who show a genuine interest in you a chance.
So, how do you know when a guy is interesterd in US? What things do they do, don't they do, to show that they are genuine in their motivations for being with a woman? I know of a lot of people, men and women, that appear to be interested, then the mask comes off and what you see, is not what you saw initially. So presuming you are a male...........besides showering a girl with material things, how do guys show they are interested.? Thanx.
 
March 9, 2009, 5:43 pm CDT

scared of dating a child molestor!

I am 45 years old and the single mom of a beautiful, smart, wonderful 5 year old girl and i'm scared to death to date because i'm afraid of child molestors. My neice was molested by my sisters boyfriend when she was about my daughters age and told me about it one day when i was taking her home from school.  I was furious and disgusted... but not matter my feelings, or my sisters subsequent actions it was too late that bastard took her innocence away and she can't get it back. I suspect nearly every guy who is interested in me is secretly a child molestor.  HELP!

I want to get married and have a wonderful life and I DON'T want to pass my fears on to my daughter.

 

 
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