Message Boards

Topic : Dating After 40

Number of Replies: 1120
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 12:18:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Whether you're new to the dating scene due to a breakup, or just still looking for Mr. Right, dating after 40 has some unique challenges. Share your stories, experiences and advice here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 7, 2006, 12:38 am CDT

You're kidding?

After 40 is what you make it.  I'm 47, I have been divorced 5 years and have been on a few dates but have no desire to remake a mistake.  The women I have met want one of three things; 1)They are too insecure to be alone and they MUST be married (uggggg), 2) They want a father for their children (look elsewhere), or 3) They want someone to support them (get a job).  MARRIAGE MARRIAGE MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!  Do they think of anything else?  I know, there are guys like that too. 

 

Where are the happy, secure (emotionally and financially), independant women who just want to take a day at a time?  Fortunately, I am very happy alone or with someone.  I have a great daughter who takes up my free time and lots of friends and family. 

 

So, why are people sooooooooo desperate?  Why do you HAVE to date?  What the heck is a "Soulmate"?  Soulmate is a buzzword that is yesterday.  Don't settle for less just enjoy life either alone or with someone.  It's your choice to be happy or host a daily Private Pity Party!  What's it gonna be????????????????

 

CIAO

 
October 9, 2006, 10:22 pm CDT

Zig Zigiar

Quote From: happy313

I want to meet some spical if he is out there but I don't know where to even begin. I am 47 and divorce and 30 pounds over weight I am still losing but they see this and they want no more to do with me where do I go from here?

'It is not your aptitude but your attitude that  etermines your altitude in life'

Keep ON truckin!! Lynda  FL. I DO NOT understsnd how to use his message board. !!

 
October 10, 2006, 1:08 am CDT

dating the man of my dreams

well how do i start this ....well i seeing the man of my dreams and i happy for once in my life and it all because of him.but there a but to this he is married and he was about to leave her and be with me but his wife ended up with cancer.i feel bad for her.i dont want her to die at all.well he decided to stay to the end with her and it isnt because he want to be with her it because of there 2 sons that are 17 and 20.he really loves his sons and he doesnt want to hurt them.so he staying.he comes and see me everyday but it getting hard for me because i cant see him when i want too.i know it bad of me to see him but i feel like if i give up on him i will never find that kinda love again.he really loved me for me. he make me feel like  a princess.i know what most are thinking but he never done this before with anyone else and i know that for 100%.the reason we started seeing each other was because he wasnt happy and she made it happen. she is controling and demanding.i meet her and she is what he say she is.well i guess what i asking is how do i get though this until him and i can be together??????????????
 
October 10, 2006, 9:36 am CDT

Over 50

I am in my early 50's, female & divorced.  It is so hard to meet someone, these days.  Any suggestions?
 
October 10, 2006, 3:09 pm CDT

still single

Quote From: hollinsiam

     Dating after 40? Most men that I know want woment that are 35 or younger. Dating in my 40's has been scratched off my list. I cannot compete with 30 somethings.

im single at 44, and i agree with what you say , although i dont go for the under 35s ,  if  a younger girl came along, id be foolish not to go out with her just because she was under 35. i concur that age is important but it shouldnt be.

 Im sure you are an attractive lady , and will find the right guy soon so dont give up hope.

 i haven't given up hope yet . maybe or should i say hopefully  there is a miss right out there. someone who is intelligent, kind, with a good sense of humour, who is reasonably attractive. and is a millionairess :-),ok the last one was a joke lol. is this a dream or is she really out there. Is there someone for everyone or is that just a saying?.

 
October 12, 2006, 4:41 pm CDT

Is there some 'One' for everyone ?

Quote From: englishknt

im single at 44, and i agree with what you say , although i dont go for the under 35s ,  if  a younger girl came along, id be foolish not to go out with her just because she was under 35. i concur that age is important but it shouldnt be.

 Im sure you are an attractive lady , and will find the right guy soon so dont give up hope.

 i haven't given up hope yet . maybe or should i say hopefully  there is a miss right out there. someone who is intelligent, kind, with a good sense of humour, who is reasonably attractive. and is a millionairess :-),ok the last one was a joke lol. is this a dream or is she really out there. Is there someone for everyone or is that just a saying?.

I think there could be variations of "The One".  The One Forever surely exists as statistics show. what's the latest statistics on divorce? is it 2 out of 3 now? so there's 1 out of 3 who has found The One Forever (So Far).  the rest of us probably has The One For Right Now and The One Before This One, etc.  we all change during our lifetime. so perhaps it is inevitable to have The One after The Other One.  we can grow together or apart in a relationship.  that's the challenge (& the excitement!).  so perhaps, we shouldn't be all too hung up on The One.  they say Life is a journey. so enjoy the ride!  if we think we are The One (from healthy self worth assessment) , the universe will respond.

 
October 12, 2006, 5:33 pm CDT

didn't you hear them say, 'the 40's are the new 30's'?

Quote From: hollinsiam

     Dating after 40? Most men that I know want woment that are 35 or younger. Dating in my 40's has been scratched off my list. I cannot compete with 30 somethings.

when men say they want women who are 35 & younger, did you ask them why? ... are they thinking of having children (because yes that can work against us women in our 40's as far as how men think about ovaries although there are many women nowadays in their 40's who are having their 1st child).  so yes, if men are thinking about baby ovens,  the 40s will be at a disadvantage over the 30s and younger.

 

but are babies the only reason why men date?  nope.  some want an "equal" in mental, emotional & social maturity or level.  some are done with the drunken party scenes and the drama queens. so do we have an advantage here? i'd say yes.

 

we were all once in our 20s and in our 30s.  try to recall those years. were you as confident?  did you know as much about life that when you open your mouth, people actually listen to you?  did you even have a bank account?  did you have assets that you paid for yourself?  did you have a 'career' you're so good at or did you just have a 'job' that paid the bills? were you as spicy and saucy as you are right now since you've been around the block for quite a while now?  do you miss the revolving door of one cool jerk after another because you were young & clueless? 

 

find your strengths. capitalize & highlight those.  camouflage the weaknesses.  cover the gray hairs,  buy some potions & lotions to keep skin dewy & soft to the touch.  watch what you eat. update your wardrobe.  do manicure & pedicure. wear your real jewelry. flash those rolex watches. drive nice cars. swing those gucci & prada handbags. and oh btw, that's just on the outside (as men are very visual). see what happens after they've spoken to you & you made them laugh with your witty banters and maybe even learned a thing or two from you. 

 

every decade of our life has its own pros & cons.  focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.

 

 

 

 
October 16, 2006, 12:49 pm CDT

dating after 40

Quote From: carolkidwell

I am in my early 50's, female & divorced.  It is so hard to meet someone, these days.  Any suggestions?
I am turning 45 and soon to be alone my kids will both be in college.It is very hard to meet someone with a teenage girl at homebut my time will be next year .so my thought is to go to college next year.maybe night school where there are adults there or join an organazation of some kind,due to the fact that i don't care for bars.
 
October 18, 2006, 7:12 pm CDT

Dating After 40

Quote From: hollinsiam

     Dating after 40? Most men that I know want woment that are 35 or younger. Dating in my 40's has been scratched off my list. I cannot compete with 30 somethings.
Sadly, I agree with you.  After a couple of bad experiences of late, I have lost hope of ever finding a good relationship. 
 
October 19, 2006, 10:59 am CDT

I think I change my mind!

I am 44 been divorced for 13 years, have had 2 serious relationships. The last one really ended around 2 years ago in my heart and mind. But we just split this past January and I recently moved out of the house we both owned. The house is on the market once sold he will be moving back to where he previously lived about 3 hours away.

 

I have been very negative towards men and relationships and felt this whole dating game and wishing for "The Dr. Phil and Robin" life really was not for me.  My past 2 relationships ended from finding out they were into porn, escorts, online websites of other women. SICK of men not being HONEST about their sexual desires and seeking else where.

 

OK to make a long story short, I just went to lunch yesterday with someone and IT FELT WONDERFUL, we shared our first kiss and I feel like a giggle school girl......Believe me I never thought that would happen. I had a whatever bad attitude about the whole thing. My older daughters figured I would be just a MAN HATER for ever.....

 

I am not sure what any of this means and I PLAN on taking it VERY SLOW but to really feel that fog like your in a daze feeling after a first kiss, was awesome and I hope it never goes away.  It can happen!

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Next | Last