Topic : Dating After 40

Does he still have her number programmed in his phone?  If so then that should answer your question.

When someone ask how your days was and the response is just Fine that is just a courteous way of answering a seemingly polite question.   If you are truly interested in his day perhaps you should rephrase the question like  Hey Darling, did you have a great day? If he says just ok or fine just say awhh  you of all people deserve to have a great day everyday. What can I do so that your day ends on a GREAT note  I know its cheesy but if he wants to tell you about his day he will but only if he feels like you are really interested and not just trying to un cover something.  If there is nothing coming back from him just telling him about your day or maybe talk about weekend plans or projects you two share.

I think the response you got was because he feels like you are prying into his private life and he has something to hide.  Remember he is not married to you and he is in the mind set that he is single and can explore other relationships. I think on the majority when guys are in a relationship even though not a committed one but one that includes sex he stills feels some guilt when exploring other options although he rationalizes that it is ok.

As for the phone calls.  He has no excuse unless you are calling him like a stalker.  If a guy truly likes you he will always answer the phone.  Even if he cant talk right them he will politely say so and will ask or tell you he will call you back and he will.  In those cases where he just cant answer the phone, leave him a nice sweet just wanted to say hello message and even if you dont ask for a call back he will call you back if he likes and values you.

Dont let this guy mess with your ego or self-esteem. I know an easy statement to make.

This guy may be looking for a loving relationship or maybe just friends with benefits. My guess is that he just wants sex.  Dont let the sweet words fool ya.  If he is truly interested in a loving caring relationship with you he will show you not tell you.  Words like I Love You are easy to say and are used by men to get sex.

My advice. Check his phone. If the girls number is still there ask him to delete it.  If he says she is just a friend then have him invite her and a friend over for dinner.  Also check all the numbers in his phone. If he really cares about you he wont have a problem telling you who each one is and deleted those that might pose a trust issue or temptation.

Now if you are ok with just being a friend with benefits I suggest that before you have a sleep over that you have him take you to a nice place for dinner, maybe a movie or comedy club or shopping And when you are out make sure you look awesome and hang all over him hold his hand put your arm around him, act like some love crazed high school kids.  Make him work for it. He will appreciate it more or move on to cheaper pastures in which case he is not worth it. No matter how great looking or how much he makes or trustworthy he is etc. or even how great the sex is he is not the man for you.

Sorry for the long reply

I am not quite 40 yet, have a few months to go but I do consider myself in the "Dating after 40" category.  What I've found is that the options are different and I'm learning to be more open about whom I'm might consider a potential person to date.  To that end, I've recently started dating an older man, He is a young 51.  I really like this guy and have to admit that I was surprised to find that we had so much in common.  I do see him as someone that I could get serious with.  However I do wonder about the age difference and what challenges it could bring down the line. 

I'm posting this message seeking some insight/ advise or simply stories of experences that others may have had in dating older men/ women. 

Where are the 50+ responsible, reasonable, resourceful, loving, caring, compassionate, passionate, kind, considerate, healthy, not in too bad shape, breathing men? Have they been kidnapped? Do they need to be rescued from some kind of forced imprisonment? No, I'm not talking about the married guys! I just want to have a long-lasting, lifetime relationship with someone who remembers that Dallas was also a TV show and that there was actually a time when TV went off the air - remember the bar codes and the national anthem? It was an automatic "Okay kids, time to go to bed if there was no school the next day! Othewise, you had to wait for the weekend before you could hear that irritating hum that woke you up from you sleeping on the couch and let you know there would be no more TV until around 6 in the morning! I tried dating a guy that was nine years younger than me. I edured hardship for three years and then I realized everything was running according to his agenda and he didn't really care or care to know how I felt. That's not to say that he was not a good guy. He was selfish and self absorbed, but he worked a full-time job and ran a business and was delightd when I could help him with all of the things he wanted to accomplish, but reacted pretty much like a three year old when things didn't go his way! Anyway, I know that some where on the face of this earth, there have got to be some 50+ men still available! Or maybe not! Maybe that's the reason for the discovery of all those new planets. Maybe that's where they are! What do ya' think? By the way, if you are a man and had to put on your reading glasses to read this, good, 'cause I had to put mine on to type it! Can't tell you how many times I backspaced to make corrections! (smile) Halla!

I know there is a message board for on line dating but I was curious if any 40+ have had any luck with sites like match.com and eHharmony.com. The ads for eHarmony make it sounds so easy to fine your soul mate.

My short time experience with match and yahoo personals was not to encouraging.

Any good or bad stories from the 40+ crowd?

I disagree.  I am 48. Although I find women in there 30s attractive I also find women my age attractive. The problem with a 30 something is that they are not where us 40 / 50 somethings are in our lives.  IE they have kids still at home and most likely younger kids at that.  I dont want to be a father again. Its time to enjoy life as empty nesters.  Travel a little, go to dinners, to the movies learn to dance etc.  The issue I find with women in there 40s is that they have been in a bad marriage and have a chip on their shoulder or they are out for Mr. GQ or a man with lots of money.  Just my 2 cents dont give up or give in or pre-judge.

I disagree.  I am 48. Although I find women in there 30s attractive I also find women my age attractive. The problem with a 30 something is that they are not where us 40 / 50 somethings are in our lives.  IE they have kids still at home and most likely younger kids at that.  I dont want to be a father again. Its time to enjoy life as empty nesters.  Travel a little, go to dinners, to the movies learn to dance etc.  The issue I find with women in there 40s is that they have been in a bad marriage and have a chip on their shoulder or they are out for Mr. GQ or a man with lots of money.  Just my 2 cents dont give up or give in or pre-judge.