Topic : Dating After 40

I haven't had internet for 1 yr. now, so I have to go to the library..it's good though, prevents me from getting addicted and more accomplishing indiviual..You SO right on, with all you said..gee, I know exactly what you're saying..I've learned so much, and especially when I read yours and other ppl's posts..Sometimes, we have to learn the hard way..but, as long as we do learn..and it doesn't take too long to learn it..lol..

I think the main thing for us, after we go through bad experiences or not so good ones..We need to not get caught up in 'bitterness' and change who we are..I'm like you, I have kept in shape all my life, mentally always upbeat and happy...but, have to be careful ppl can bring you down..I searched long and hard, for this book I once read, that helped me once..I was at a thrift store, and I found it..strange..It's called "Solitude"..on the author, although had ppl in his life..said when he's the most accomplished, is when he's alone..and when one can see that, it's a GOOD THING, not a bad or lonely thing..When, I get back to that..I read it, and it really helps me..and it's weird, I feel 'good'..Most ppl feel they can't be alone..they fear it..but, when you read a book like this, it really helps..I go hiking with my dogs, kayaking alone..vacation alone..(go visit ppl along the way)..go to movies alone..and you know what?  It's ok..actually, feels great..Anyway, just wanted to post this..Take care,

Dee

I would think that at her age, she doesn't want to feel tied down or committed. Since she was probably married, had the family, etc. now she probably only wants casual relationships which bring her enjoyment and nurturing, but not safety. She is having a great time, it seems with you, and her reminding you of the age difference might be her way of telling you that you need to find someone else, although not necessarily any particular age difference, but she is letting you in on a very big secret, that she does not want to spend the rest of her life with you. 

I hope this doesn't bring you down, but anytime I suggested someone date someone else, it was because I really didn't want that particular relationship for the long haul.  I would say, don't go find yourself someone your age, but find yourself someone that can commit to you. I don't think she wants to. Sorry.

I have not been on here too long but most that I have seen have been divorced 2-5 years and still having trouble.  I chuckled because I have had trouble for the past 15 years, lol.  I laugh because this is not a new problem it has been this way a long time.  My dry run has been due to having to raise my two children without the help from my ex,  finishing college, and working fulltime to support them while trying to stay focused on their needs.  For me the option of dating didn't really become an option until I reached 40 but now I find myself asking where do I start, where do I go, and how do I avoid repeating what happened in my other marriage.  I would have thought that it would have been easy to find someone, but most of the people that are my age and interesting to me I find that they are either already married or in a relationship.  I have the worst luck, married men or men that just want a roll in the hay seem to love to approach me, and this is so not the kind of person that I am.  I firmly hold on to the thought that God has my perfect mate out there for me but that we just have not met yet.  I do know that the bar scene does not hold the attraction that  it did when I was 18 so where do you go to find single people?  Online, maybe but I spend enough time on the computer as it is with work and that just doesn't appeal to me.  Plus I have tried it twice and both times have been a bomb.  Church, work, friends, are other ways to meet people but nothing has panned out.  I even joined a bowling league, lol, to try to meet a guy that was doing something that he loved it turned out that the single guys were joining with their girl friends so I was the odd ball.  I have run out of ideas of where I should look but the odd thing is I see people that have been successful.  When I ask them where did they meet they may say church, happy hour after work, thru friends, work and these are all the things that I have tried too.  So this leads me to ask myself what am I doing differently.  Sometimes I wonder if it is body language, am I unconciously sending out an unapproachable message?  Who would you even ask what kind of body language you are emitting?  So many questions and not many answers but to answer the question of this blog, no I am not having any better luck than you are.  : (