Topic : Dating After 40

I have not been on here too long but most that I have seen have been divorced 2-5 years and still having trouble.  I chuckled because I have had trouble for the past 15 years, lol.  I laugh because this is not a new problem it has been this way a long time.  My dry run has been due to having to raise my two children without the help from my ex,  finishing college, and working fulltime to support them while trying to stay focused on their needs.  For me the option of dating didn't really become an option until I reached 40 but now I find myself asking where do I start, where do I go, and how do I avoid repeating what happened in my other marriage.  I would have thought that it would have been easy to find someone, but most of the people that are my age and interesting to me I find that they are either already married or in a relationship.  I have the worst luck, married men or men that just want a roll in the hay seem to love to approach me, and this is so not the kind of person that I am.  I firmly hold on to the thought that God has my perfect mate out there for me but that we just have not met yet.  I do know that the bar scene does not hold the attraction that  it did when I was 18 so where do you go to find single people?  Online, maybe but I spend enough time on the computer as it is with work and that just doesn't appeal to me.  Plus I have tried it twice and both times have been a bomb.  Church, work, friends, are other ways to meet people but nothing has panned out.  I even joined a bowling league, lol, to try to meet a guy that was doing something that he loved it turned out that the single guys were joining with their girl friends so I was the odd ball.  I have run out of ideas of where I should look but the odd thing is I see people that have been successful.  When I ask them where did they meet they may say church, happy hour after work, thru friends, work and these are all the things that I have tried too.  So this leads me to ask myself what am I doing differently.  Sometimes I wonder if it is body language, am I unconciously sending out an unapproachable message?  Who would you even ask what kind of body language you are emitting?  So many questions and not many answers but to answer the question of this blog, no I am not having any better luck than you are.  : (

It really irks me to hear that a woman that is so "religious"....too rightous, and "hate" in the same sentence just upsets me even more! I think your man needs to step up to the plate and talk to his mother, whom is at least in her 70's, right? and talk to her like an adult...not a child to a mother.  She is running his life and this may be something you will have to live with, and love...or hate it, and leave.

Now the soulmate thing is this. A soulmate is someone we met in a past life so it is very comfortable to be around them. We have many soulmates in our lifetime! They pass through our lives to guide us, not necessarily stay around for the duration of it. 

If you don't want to destroy their relationship, then you need to find and dig deep, for the compassion and accepting he is not going to be available the way you want. Can you live with it the way it is? If you can't then you will constantly suffer.  Good luck.