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Topic : Dating After 40

Number of Replies: 1120
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 12:18:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Whether you're new to the dating scene due to a breakup, or just still looking for Mr. Right, dating after 40 has some unique challenges. Share your stories, experiences and advice here.

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September 8, 2006, 5:05 pm CDT

Dating After 40

new topic-hmmm.  Dating after 40? Nonexistent.  Anyone else having any luck?

 
September 8, 2006, 8:35 pm CDT

I'm 47 and dating...

I'm smarter now about what to do and not do. I know what I want, although I am settling for less right now. At least at this age I KNOW I'm settling!!

 
September 9, 2006, 5:16 am CDT

Dating After 40

Quote From: kwindshawn

new topic-hmmm.  Dating after 40? Nonexistent.  Anyone else having any luck?

I was SO happy to see this new board-YYYAAAYYYY!!!!!    I have  not had  good luck-And I am struggling not to settle for less- I  don't feel very good about meself when I settle- I am getting my dignity and integrety back-  100%-

Good -great-topic-Will be back!!!

 
September 9, 2006, 6:52 am CDT

great topic!!!!

Quote From: kwindshawn

new topic-hmmm.  Dating after 40? Nonexistent.  Anyone else having any luck?

i was happy to see this topic i am over 40 and have been dating a wonderful lady for a couple of years .but she wont commit to anything  i get excuses constantly. we had a chance to go on the dr.phil show and she wouldnt talk to the producer so that ended that. she has had bad luck in the past and wont move on as she is scared what do i do next?i have alot of time in this relationship and want this lady to be my wife and let me take care of her. she tells me i love her like shes never been loved before, thats where i am at my whits end any ideas?
 
September 10, 2006, 4:06 pm CDT

I can one up you..how about dating after 60

I am newly divorced from the man I thought I would grow old with....63 and single again....I wish the only problem I had was that I was  "just 40".  I guess I am not ready to date yet...still smoldering.....
 
September 10, 2006, 6:18 pm CDT

Dating After 40

Quote From: corkia

I am newly divorced from the man I thought I would grow old with....63 and single again....I wish the only problem I had was that I was  "just 40".  I guess I am not ready to date yet...still smoldering.....
I'm sorry-I can imagine how that feels.  My dad jumped into a marriage shortly after the divorce, and it lasted a few days.  To my knowledge,my mom hasn't dated hardly at all, and the one she did date was more friendship than anything.  Both folks are very bitter, and I don't see either one ever marrying again or even dating for that matter.  It sucks for everyone really-I just hope I can have some friendship for the rest of my life-but one thing-I will be more careful this next time, and I am going to be really careful about allowing myself to feel to much for anyone.
 
September 11, 2006, 8:35 am CDT

Forty something

Quote From: marihop60

I'm smarter now about what to do and not do. I know what I want, although I am settling for less right now. At least at this age I KNOW I'm settling!!

Yeah...I know more now than ever before. I had to go through hell to get here..tho:) I have been single for almost four yr's.. now. I had a relationship for about four monthes, with some one that I met on line. Well..I thought that I had met my soul mate? Turns out that he was living with some one the whole entire time!! It has been the only relationship that I've had.

I would really like to meet "my soulmate", it seems that they don't exist? All the men on line seem to just want to.."get laid"??? I'm so sick of it.

  Why can't I just find someone who is genuine? ..where is he?:):)

 
September 11, 2006, 3:48 pm CDT

I am alone at 45

I am 45 and alone. I have been married twice and divorced twice, had a 2 year relationship and just recently broke up with the two year relationship. With the experiences that I have had from those relationships, I find my self questioning anyone that I meet, about their feelings, intentions, whether they are being sincere about what they say etc.  It has been hard for me to start a relationship because of the way I feel about men. I realize that not all men are alike but my heart tells me other wise. I need some advice about what I should do so I can move on and have a decent loving realtionship.

 
September 11, 2006, 4:32 pm CDT

how do I know what to believe?

I am 51 years old, divorced twice.  First time after a 25 year marriage, second time after a 1 year marriage.  I am currently living with my boyfriend of 1 year.  During this year together, we have been through a lot and have survived pretty well.  We seem to have been able to work things out and stay on track.  The one issue that will not go away is his lying to me and I am at my wits end over it.  He is an alcoholic.  He says he knows it and says he can conquer it without help from anyone or any organization.  He did go to a couple of counseling sessions with me, but has now told me that he won't go to any more because it's always just the same thing over and over and he gets nothing out of it.  He says he has quit drinking completely, but has said this before and I eventually found out that he was sneaking drinks every chance he got.  i was out of state for the summer and we made a deal that I would only return home if he got help and quit for real.  He agreed to quit but not get help.  The whole time I was away, he swore he never took a drink.  I was suspicious a couple of times during phone conversations, but he adamantely denied drinking.  Since I have returned home, I have discovered that he was indeed drinking on those occasions (and probably more).  When i confront him about it, he denies denies denies.  He will not come clean.  I don't know what to do about the lying.  I am willing to help him kick the alcohol habit, and was totally committed to that until I caught him lying about it once again.  Now I don't know if I'm just being a fool to stay around when I know he lies to me.  Would sure love some good advice.

 
September 11, 2006, 7:16 pm CDT

Been their..done that!

Quote From: lucycunning

I am 51 years old, divorced twice.  First time after a 25 year marriage, second time after a 1 year marriage.  I am currently living with my boyfriend of 1 year.  During this year together, we have been through a lot and have survived pretty well.  We seem to have been able to work things out and stay on track.  The one issue that will not go away is his lying to me and I am at my wits end over it.  He is an alcoholic.  He says he knows it and says he can conquer it without help from anyone or any organization.  He did go to a couple of counseling sessions with me, but has now told me that he won't go to any more because it's always just the same thing over and over and he gets nothing out of it.  He says he has quit drinking completely, but has said this before and I eventually found out that he was sneaking drinks every chance he got.  i was out of state for the summer and we made a deal that I would only return home if he got help and quit for real.  He agreed to quit but not get help.  The whole time I was away, he swore he never took a drink.  I was suspicious a couple of times during phone conversations, but he adamantely denied drinking.  Since I have returned home, I have discovered that he was indeed drinking on those occasions (and probably more).  When i confront him about it, he denies denies denies.  He will not come clean.  I don't know what to do about the lying.  I am willing to help him kick the alcohol habit, and was totally committed to that until I caught him lying about it once again.  Now I don't know if I'm just being a fool to stay around when I know he lies to me.  Would sure love some good advice.

My advice to you would be...tell him to leave!

I was with an alcoholic for ten years. It almost ruined my life! He isn't gonna change. He needs to be on his own..or he won't get help. You are being his enabler!! He can quit drinking if he really wants to? I always say"..when there's a will..there's a way!!

In the time that I was with mine, I became an alcoholic, too. My whole life was a night mare, I moved away and got my life together..thank's to Dr. Phil's books. I'm more together now than ever!!

The more you try to help him..the worse it will get. He has to do this on his own, trust me? You need to use "tough love"..and stick to your guns!! You can do it:):)

Good luck to you..my friend!

 
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