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Topic : Dating After 40

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Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 12:18:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Whether you're new to the dating scene due to a breakup, or just still looking for Mr. Right, dating after 40 has some unique challenges. Share your stories, experiences and advice here.

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March 4, 2007, 5:38 pm PST

I THOUGHT I was smarter now.....

Quote From: marihop60

I'm smarter now about what to do and not do. I know what I want, although I am settling for less right now. At least at this age I KNOW I'm settling!!

I'm 47 and have had 1 failed Marriage when i was 34. It lasted 5.9yrs.  It failed because i knew i settled.
I NEVER  dated seriously  unless there was something there, and i can tell you, i can count on 1 hand with a couple fingers less, the women i have been serious with.

Of course I started dating seriously someone 6 months ago, that i have known casually for 4 yrs.  It was my 1st life experience with who i waiteed for my whole life.   Of course she has now kicked me to the curb, and im thinking,  What good are standards? .   LOLOL

 
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March 5, 2007, 2:59 am PST

Dating After 40

Quote From: maggie1959

Hi, I am 47 years old and I started dating a man 8 years younger. I never thought it could be possible.I started telling him i was 42 as i look younger but I realized  it wouldn´t be fair to start a relationship based on a lie. When i told him the truth he said he wouldn´t care as he feels great with me.Although we go along very well I I can´t stop thinking that when he´ll be 42 I will be 50.We both have children and I am even a grandmother.His kids are 9 and 10 y.o.Mine are 21 and 23.We both have a great job and don´t depend on each other . I have a few wrinkles on my forehead and I intend to have a face lift next month.I discuss the subject with him and he said that if I feel I should do it I so do it.I feel great with him and i feel alive as I raised my kids alone and postponed many things to be with them.I believe I can be happy but I taka a day at at time.So don´t believe love is gonne away.It might happen whenever you less expect it.

I will be 49 next week...and my SO is ten years younger than myself. Well...until June rolls around, he'll be 11 years younger, lol. I never lied to him about my age or anything else...including the 4 kids I have. (only two are still at home) If this relationship is a good and healthy one, don't get hung up on the age difference. There are sometimes when it just works. And it sounds as though you might have one of those times!!!! We've been together a bit over 3 years now, and it shows no signs of slowing down. He believes he'll be with me the rest of his life, and I'm on board with him on this one. After 20+ years of a bad marriage, and raising the kids on my own...this is a most welcome breath of fresh air!! He's totally different...I guess I learned a thing or two over the last 20 years. My biggest lesson was to NOT settle. Ever.

I wish you MUCH love and happiness with your younger man!! You sound very happy, and that's the bottom line...happiness. And I am happy FOR you!!

 
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March 5, 2007, 6:15 am PST

Dating After 40

Quote From: doing_my_best

I'm 47 and have had 1 failed Marriage when i was 34. It lasted 5.9yrs.  It failed because i knew i settled.
I NEVER  dated seriously  unless there was something there, and i can tell you, i can count on 1 hand with a couple fingers less, the women i have been serious with.

Of course I started dating seriously someone 6 months ago, that i have known casually for 4 yrs.  It was my 1st life experience with who i waiteed for my whole life.   Of course she has now kicked me to the curb, and im thinking,  What good are standards? .   LOLOL

What good will happen if you DON'T have standards?? I have to tell you I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you. My SO had certainly been around the block when he met me. I was really kinda surprised to find that there were seemingly a lot of women with substandard standards, lol. Knowing him like I know him now, I thought "what was WRONG with these women???? They must've been nuts to let him get away". He did the same thing I did. He chose wrong. For me, I had to step out of my ideal of what I found attractive. 20 years ago I wouldn't have given my SO the time of day...he isn't what I used to consider "good looking", since he's balding and very thin. He's also the perpetual "nice guy"..and men like that bored me to tears so long ago. And now???? Boy, have things changed...lol!! He's gorgeous...and his character and integrity are above and beyond. As far as being bored goes? Not one day in the last over 3 years. There have been "quiet" times...but never boring. I've learned.

Have you stepped out of your "mold" a little bit? Given the woman you might not necessarily give a chance to a chance? You just never know....

But hey, I wish you luck...and all the best that life has to offer...

 
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March 5, 2007, 10:51 am PST

my experience

Quote From: ricschic

What good will happen if you DON'T have standards?? I have to tell you I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you. My SO had certainly been around the block when he met me. I was really kinda surprised to find that there were seemingly a lot of women with substandard standards, lol. Knowing him like I know him now, I thought "what was WRONG with these women???? They must've been nuts to let him get away". He did the same thing I did. He chose wrong. For me, I had to step out of my ideal of what I found attractive. 20 years ago I wouldn't have given my SO the time of day...he isn't what I used to consider "good looking", since he's balding and very thin. He's also the perpetual "nice guy"..and men like that bored me to tears so long ago. And now???? Boy, have things changed...lol!! He's gorgeous...and his character and integrity are above and beyond. As far as being bored goes? Not one day in the last over 3 years. There have been "quiet" times...but never boring. I've learned.

Have you stepped out of your "mold" a little bit? Given the woman you might not necessarily give a chance to a chance? You just never know....

But hey, I wish you luck...and all the best that life has to offer...

this was my experience with a women. I found a women that is out of my box, and it has been wonderful. Just think about this ,and see what you can find. it most likly will not hurt you.  It may give you thebest thing in your life.
 
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March 5, 2007, 11:01 am PST

we are everywhere

Quote From: lyndaul

Hi my name ix Lynda. E mail me at lauletta@bellsouth.net.

I am in Ft. Lauderdale!! This board is a Little strabge but PlEASE I have advbice!!I will give you my phone numb there o,kz??? Write a hello if it is important 2 U I am in medicine and took good Psychology in 80's haha!!

Hi lynda wepeople are on the boards are everywhere. Me I am in the north west I have to respect my board friends and not tell you where they live. There are a lot of us on here that have made friends ,and talk on emails to, but that has taken some time to.  We are here to support each other with some of our thinking or to be just friends. Some friends here are direct to the point, and some will be a lot easier on your feelings so do not feel hurt about replies.  Randy in Gods country
 
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March 5, 2007, 11:09 am PST

not wrong

Quote From: lyndaul

GET GIRLfriends!! I mean I am available but you MUST go out with WOMEN!!!
Lynda
Hi. I am a man, and I think this man your talking about was very wrong to ask you this. To me sex is a private thing between two caring lovers, and it should always be this way well in my relationship it is anyway. Your right to tell him to get lost if he just wanted to have sex that is wrong. Any way keep strong, and things will chang.
 
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March 7, 2007, 4:50 pm PST

Let it GO!!

Quote From: maggie1959

Hi, I am 47 years old and I started dating a man 8 years younger. I never thought it could be possible.I started telling him i was 42 as i look younger but I realized  it wouldn´t be fair to start a relationship based on a lie. When i told him the truth he said he wouldn´t care as he feels great with me.Although we go along very well I I can´t stop thinking that when he´ll be 42 I will be 50.We both have children and I am even a grandmother.His kids are 9 and 10 y.o.Mine are 21 and 23.We both have a great job and don´t depend on each other . I have a few wrinkles on my forehead and I intend to have a face lift next month.I discuss the subject with him and he said that if I feel I should do it I so do it.I feel great with him and i feel alive as I raised my kids alone and postponed many things to be with them.I believe I can be happy but I taka a day at at time.So don´t believe love is gonne away.It might happen whenever you less expect it.

Do NOT dwelll on something so small! Read ther book: The Language of Lettinh Go.

and do it!a

 
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March 7, 2007, 6:47 pm PST

nothing wrong ok

Quote From: lyndaul

Do NOT dwelll on something so small! Read ther book: The Language of Lettinh Go.

and do it!a

What matters is that you two have a great relationship. I have to say that there are a lot of simular people out there in the same boat. I can say also that I have in the past to .we have become closer, and now it does not have anything to do with how the other feels. Just be happy with this, and someday it will be better. Randy from Gods country
 
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March 11, 2007, 12:07 pm PDT

Single at 50!

Hi everyone, just registered here. Ended a 21 year relationship 3 months ago, it was never really good, he had alot of anger problems and could be quite abusive but I stayed anyway. So he calls last week to tell me he's getting married! Wants to know if we can still be friends which really means, if this dosen't work out will you still be here. I couldn't believe how hurt I was, since I'm the one who told him it was over. I just never thought I would be having to find a partner at this point in my life. It's creepy!

 

Well thanx for listening to that! 

Gina

 
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March 11, 2007, 12:17 pm PDT

Dating after 40

 I'm 47 and have been on Yahoo Personals for awhile. It seems that most of the men my age want  some one who is way younger..like in their 20's!  Nothing wrong with that I guess, if you don't mind being on a childs level..lol. They must be going through menapause?..lol. I'm not having the best of luck as yet, but I'm not gonna settle , I'm too valuable and want what I want. I might have to wait awhile but I'm learning as I wait! I'm reading Love smart..again. It is amazing how much you miss..the second time around? I'm learning from it again!  I feel at this age amazingly great, knowledge, wisdom & understanding are so much in my life, than ever before! I like who I have become at this age, it just gets better and better:)
 
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