Topic : 09/11 Biggest Love Mistakes

I am fully aware of what I did...and by the way it is NOT against the law...It is against policy....a Big Difference....(If it was there would be a lot of C/O's in prison).I did know him causally on the outside..only by face, but it was enough to open the door. .It was against my better judgment...you know that feeling you get when every instinct tells you not to do it, but this person, who puts up such a front and tells you lies...you listen to that person and every thing that is presented to you as a"Model Inmate" was a farce.  BIG MISTAKE

I sincerely hope that you knew this person before he was incarcerated....and knew him well.  Like I said, I witnessed this normal everyday (inmate) behavior every day.. and like I said..you would be surprised and possibly shocked....It is like a different world inside a correctional facility, and the ones who appears to be an exception to rule are not..they are far more insidious.  Like I said if they play the officers-who are supposed to be hip to them...it is far easier to fool the general public-like these two ladies. 

I make no excuses for what I did...but that doesn't change a thing. I know what I know, and I know what I saw and I know what I experienced..  Why don't you arrange to take a tour of your nearest jail or prison to check it out.

I lost my job.not my life....It wasn't the losing of my job that bothered me..it was the experience that I went though with him that was the kicker...by the way he was in for drugs....THE WORST..and It was the shortest relationship I ever had...and most expensive.  Chalk it up to life's little experiences, but life goes on..

I hope that your loved one is just a first time offender, and not be a repeat offender....if he is then I wish you the best of luck.
 

I think Dr. Phil was completely off the mark in his assesment of Matt.

Not only does he have an un natural attachment to his adopted daughter. But, I believe he has been grooming her. Lets look at his "bizarre" behavior. He would rather spend time with Nadia's friends than be with grown-ups, private cell phone, he tells her he loves her but he won't tell his wife, the lack of sex in his marriage, the tickling...I could go on. This man is grooming his child. Did anyone get a good look at the childs face? She had such a haunted look in her eye. She wants mom to protect  her. She gets nothing but hostility from her mother because her mother is jealous of her.

Dr Phil made this out to be about not knowing "boundaries". There is not a man out there that does not realize his "boundaries" with a female. In this case it was her dad.

I believe Nadia is afraid to tell her mom about the "relationship" with her father. I dont believe that it is just  emotional. I believe that he is having a physical relaitonship with Nadia.  

I say all these things because it happened to my own children. We were living with my mom and step-dad. Matt has a lot of the same behaviors that my step dad has/d

To those who say HOW could you LET this HAPPEN?? Gee...ya really think I wanted my children to be raped???  These things happened when I was at work and my step-father was home with my children during the day as he worked the night shift.  We thought he just cared about his grandchildren. He seemed so benevolent, He would take them to amusement parks, the zoo, to get ice cream. My husband and I thought it was great that they were close to their grandparents. We wanted that for them. WE did not have ANY idea that he was harming the kids.

My mother became a bit jealous of his doting on my oldest daughter. He made her think she was just being silly and a nagging wife. A lot like Matt made his wife feel.

Oh yeah the cell phone thing. That hit a nerve. My husband and I were getting back on our feet after some serious financial troubles. We each had a cell phone, but couldn't get one for my oldest daughter. We had to wait a year according to our cell phone plan. So my step dad bought her a phone for Christmas after my husband  told him that he would prefer him not to do that. So now he had a direct line to my daughter w/o our knowledge. How could we refuse??it was done out in the open and it was a gift. He pitted us against each other constantly so that we would be too busy fighting amongst ourselves to even look at what he was doing. He manipulated the situation perfectly.

We saw bizarre behavior and  but nothing that really made us think anything was off kilter.

As we began preparations to move out of the house, his behavior escalated to a point  of serious concern. The last straw for me was when he went to my daughters HS and told her then boyfriend that if he continued to see her he would kick his ass.

We had been out of the house for almost 2 years. My relationship with my mother and step  non-existent. After we moved out of the house they sold the house that they lived in and moved to another state. Their home state...born and raised.

In 2006 my youngest daughter hit us with the news that she had been raped repeatedly by this man. She also knew that my oldest daughter had been raped as well. Then there was even more. My son told us that he had been molested (fondled) by this man. My world crashed.  We went to the police and told the detective what happened he interviewed each of us and we were there for about 8 hours.  That next morning my step-dad was arrested. He was extradicted to the state where he committed his crimes. He was indicted on 19 seperate counts. 11 were first degree felony counts.

He has since plead guilty to 3 of those counts. The plea deal will give him 20 years in prison.

We are currently waiting for the sentencing hearing.

This guy Matt is a pedophile!! I see all the signs now. Some will think I am projecting, Watching that show was like watching what happened in my life. A guy, in good standing with the community. Church-going, clean cut, a "family guy". This is an illusion!!!

Nadia needs help and she needs it NOW!!!

I am the gradmother of two small children who's father was murdered by his 15 year old son, the half brother to my two little charges.  Yes, he says he has gotten religion like all cons, but in the next breath he says he wants a relationship with his half brother and sister, and when he gets out in December (now he is 21) he is coming to have that relationship.  I am very nervous, and scared, but my husband feels he will not come.  For the past five years that he has been in jail he has constantly dragged us into court (which costs us money for attorneys while he does this for no cost)_ for various reasons such as visitation to the children, charged us with sexual abuse of the children,  wants his fathers estate, which there was none of because of all the debt, and numerous other charges, all of which he has lost.  These people on your show who's son and brother was killed, really ought to think twice.  I would give anything not to have to worry about this character getting out of jail.  It seems he has all the rights, we have none.  My husband and I are 65 and 60 respectively, the children are 8 and 10.  We have had them for seven years, which is not an easy feat at our ages.  There should be something people could do to get relief from these jailhouse lawyers.  Even though we have restraint orders, they are just paper and he has already told us it dosen't matter to him, he is coming, and I believe him.  I don't know what he has turned into from a 15 year old kid to a 21 year old man -- really I don't want to find out.  Dr. Phil -- take up the cause to protect people from inmates like this.

Carol

WOW!!  Watching your show about the husband having an emotional affair with the adopted daughter.  My husband recently confessed to me that he had a sexual affair with our 19 year old adopted daughter that lasted for a year.  The adoption finaled one week before she turned 18.  He says it was just sex.  He left our bed to have her and for 10 months of that affair, he didn't touch me.  No hug, no hand holding, no hand on the shoulder.  He did all he could to avoid us even bumping into each other.  She lived here and still would as that was what he wanted.  But, 5 weeks after he told me, he told her to leave.  I think she thought he would have me leave and not her.  He wouldn't allow me to tell her that I knew.  He gave her the password to all our bank accounts.  I didn't have that.  She knew more about our business than I did.  He would never let us talk in private.  She always had to be in the room, no matter how many times I asked him to keep our business just between us.

I talked to my Mother-in-Law and my Aunt and Uncle.  All three say that we need to stay together for the sake of the children.  We have 4 other adopted children that we adopted at birth.  Ages 8,8,6, and 4.  We have been married 27 years.  I am 56 and he just turned 50.  I love the Lord and husband now says that he turned his back on God but, has repented.  He says he confessed all but, I caught him in a lie a few days ago.  He says he has confessed so now we need to get on with life.  He says he wants me now.  That's new.  He didn't want me even on the honeymoon.  Three days we spent at the mall and even entertained his cousin at our motel room.  He says he had a sexual addiction but, is now delivered.

I think my life is over.  My husband and I are CC and 2 of our children are AA and two are mixed.  Husband says I deserve better than him.  So do my friends.  If we didn't have the children....If is a big word.  Have any suggestions?  It would be nice to know someone loved me before I died but, I am not very hopeful on that score.