Topic : Abuse

Have u tried annualcreditreport.com, it's 3 free credit reports a year, 1 from 3 different companies.  Check it out. 

God Bless 

Thanks very much for your advise. At this moment in time calm and collected is my middle name. I know if I loose my temper I loose a lot or everything. And he knows it, very well. I have already told this ACS affiliated agency my side of the story, but this people seem to believe him more than me. Maybe because of the aunt incident record, maybe because I don’t have a steady job, only God knows. I have been seriously thinking, that is things get from bad to worse, write a letter directly to the ACS and explain to them again the abuse he’s putting me trough.

So far they think he’s the victim and I am the aggressor, and that infuriates me a lot, because is not true. He doesn’t  physically hurt our children, he only does the occasional spanking with clothes on, most of their abuse is emotional –he constantly yells and belittles them at homework time, feeding time, etc. not a loving ,caring or patient man with his kids (according to ACS  spanking does NOT count a child abuse unless you leave a mark- at least that what they told my husband when I told them he put our kids pants down and spank them leaving a red marks on their buttocks…regardless, he doesn’t do that anymore.. I  wonder why?)   

Thank God I still have my children with me, I want to be that way, until they all are 18, beyond or whenever they decide to leave the nest. You see, I consider myself a great mom, I am patient, caring, loving, playful. I have fun with my kids, I educate them too. We do so many things together: paint, sing, dance, cook, read to them, computer time, go to museums, the zoo, the movies, etc. they are my pride, love them with all my heart and soul. I consider them my heroes too, because thanks to them I have been able to keep my sanity and some inner piece and happiness in this time of distress and the though of loosing them is just unbearable.  I honestly don’t know why so many men are so mean to woman.  Specially, their wives and mother of their children. A man separating his children and babies from their good mother just because  you don’t want to be married to her anymore, or because you don’t love her anymore? Back in the 40’s, 50’s even 60’s that was an unthinkable thing to do. Can somebody explain this to me? Is this pandemic?

Yustak

Thanks very much for your advise. At this moment in time calm and collected is my middle name. I know if I loose my temper I loose a lot or everything. And he knows it, very well. I have already told this ACS affiliated agency my side of the story, but this people seem to believe him more than me. Maybe because of the aunt incident record, maybe because I don’t have a steady job, only God knows. I have been seriously thinking, that is things get from bad to worse, write a letter directly to the ACS and explain to them again the abuse he’s putting me trough.

So far they think he’s the victim and I am the aggressor, and that infuriates me a lot, because is not true. He doesn’t  physically hurt our children, he only does the occasional spanking with clothes on, most of their abuse is emotional –he constantly yells and belittles them at homework time, feeding time, etc. not a loving ,caring or patient man with his kids (according to ACS  spanking does NOT count a child abuse unless you leave a mark- at least that what they told my husband when I told them he put our kids pants down and spank them leaving a red marks on their buttocks…regardless, he doesn’t do that anymore.. I  wonder why?)   

Thank God I still have my children with me, I want to be that way, until they all are 18, beyond or whenever they decide to leave the nest. You see, I consider myself a great mom, I am patient, caring, loving, playful. I have fun with my kids, I educate them too. We do so many things together: paint, sing, dance, cook, read to them, computer time, go to museums, the zoo, the movies, etc. they are my pride, love them with all my heart and soul. I consider them my heroes too, because thanks to them I have been able to keep my sanity and some inner piece and happiness in this time of distress and the though of loosing them is just unbearable.  I honestly don’t know why so many men are so mean to woman.  Specially, their wives and mother of their children. A man separating his children and babies from their good mother just because  you don’t want to be married to her anymore, or because you don’t love her anymore? Back in the 40’s, 50’s even 60’s that was an unthinkable thing to do. Can somebody explain this to me? Is this pandemic?

Yustak

I have posted the info regarding the 3 major credit bureaus....and that the information comes direct from them and its the best route to go. 

Not other sites or sources. 

I think you are missing the information I am posting. 

Are you reading all the posts here or just some? 

You are confusing me....with your posting on this matter. 

If you don't read all the posts you don't get the information correctly....let me know. 

Ok?   

Take care. 

PS, I appreciate your posts on abuse.    You are most insightful and helpful.   Thank you.  

I'm dyslexic today, lol.  I meant TRO, temporary restaining order.  I don't know what state u are in, but why can't u do both?  Counseling and the partial restraining order? 

Yeah, sounds like he is a tight-azz.  Bless your heart, I can't imagine having to beg my Hubby for money - that sucks.  I don't work right now either but I handle the money.  He's not going to give u any significant amount of money right now because he doesn't want u saving up to leave or have any resources to work with.  U said before he makes good money, and u are his wife, but I don't know what the laws are in your state.  Can u find out?  Or I would be willing to help u search online later (gots appts this pm).  Seriously, I am so wanting to help u if u will let me.  God bless 

This is my first time, so here goes... My husband and I have been together for five years, married for four. We were high school sweethearts, he went to the military and miraculously some eight years, I find myself packing up my belongings and moving 250 miles away from the life I knew for 23 years. I had a four year old son from a previous relationship, and my husband had custody of his four year old son and also shared responsibility of his ex-wifes daughter. We have a very blended family, and to say the very least it has been a miserable ride. Mostly we argue about the kids. He doesn't include me when it comes to his kids and their mom. These past two years, he has broken my spirit that I feel I don't deserve to be here. I'm no angel, I have a bad temper and shoot off at the mouth when we argue, but I'm trying to learn how to argue. He's called me so many names, he's wished he would've never married me, that if I didn't like something I could leave etc.. Last year some woman called my house to tell me that my husband was sleeping with my sister-n-law. Lies. She called my husband at work first and told him that if he didn't come over to her house and sleep with her that she was calling me... and she did. When he came home I was livid and could not control my emotions. It's been to the point that my husband became very sick and I had wished that it was something serious and he would die. (I know that's horrible). My mouth is my curse. We have gotten past that. Of course she denied ever touching him and he did as well. The situation is this.. my son's dad is a drug addict and pays no support , he doesn't even try to contact his son. I have no control over that, hell I don't even know how to reach him. My husband knew my son was my responsibility. Since then, we have a three year old son together. My step-son gets everything he wants from his mom and her family and sometimes it really bothers me. Lately I cannot open my mouth in fear that it would excalate into a physical confronation. A few weeks back I was sitting on the coach and my husband tried to snatch the remote control off my lap, when I grabbed it he sat on me a punched me in the face atleast twice (with my glasses on). Oh, and in front of our son and my step-son.I'm at the point now that I don't know where to go and don't have the means to do it. We are supposed to close on our first home at the end of this month. I'm his maid during the day, and successful at a part-time evening job. The bills are almost paid off. He makes GREAT money and I would never survive on my pay alone. He took his wedding ring off today and told me that when I start acting right he'll put it back on. My blood is boiling. I start counseling next Friday. I hope I will get the strength to leave him. When we are good, it's great. When we're doing bad, it's beyond bad. Please help. I will look at the websites that were posted earlier. 

She was a really good kid.  Never gave us any real trouble.  Just the usual teenage stuff, you know, occasionally broke curfew, didn't keep her room up, that sort of stuff.   

I asked the question of my son-in-law about her using drugs.  It was one of the only explanations I could come up with for why she had done a 180.  He didn't think so and, now, neither do I.   

What it boils down to is that she had to leave the marriage.  Under the circumstances, she could not take the boys with her.  Going to Maryland was the option that made the most sense to her.  I don't think it was a choice I could have made, but then, I'm not her.   

I think what is happening is that I am missing her and  the children and feeling very worried about the future.  My health has suffered as a result of all of this.  That is not helping my mental state one bit.  I just feel tired and defeated right now.  A good night or two of sleep might change my attitude.   

Maybe I need to take a break from this board and work on me a little bit.  I'm sorry I dumped on you guys but I was really floundering.  I know that you all care and are here for me and I appreciate it more than you will ever know.   

Cocoa, I'm hoping that things go well for you.  You are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and although it's a scary time, I can't help sensing your relief that it is almost over.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Your kids know that you love them and I think they understand their dad's motivations, probably more than you realize.  You and they will be fine. 

Peace be with all of you. 

Didn't mean to confuse.  I thought I read most of the posts - I obviously didnt.  I'll shut up on the matter. 

God Bless 

This is my first time, so here goes... My husband and I have been together for five years, married for four. We were high school sweethearts, he went to the military and miraculously some eight years, I find myself packing up my belongings and moving 250 miles away from the life I knew for 23 years. I had a four year old son from a previous relationship, and my husband had custody of his four year old son and also shared responsibility of his ex-wifes daughter. We have a very blended family, and to say the very least it has been a miserable ride. Mostly we argue about the kids. He doesn't include me when it comes to his kids and their mom. These past two years, he has broken my spirit that I feel I don't deserve to be here. I'm no angel, I have a bad temper and shoot off at the mouth when we argue, but I'm trying to learn how to argue. He's called me so many names, he's wished he would've never married me, that if I didn't like something I could leave etc.. Last year some woman called my house to tell me that my husband was sleeping with my sister-n-law. Lies. She called my husband at work first and told him that if he didn't come over to her house and sleep with her that she was calling me... and she did. When he came home I was livid and could not control my emotions. It's been to the point that my husband became very sick and I had wished that it was something serious and he would die. (I know that's horrible). My mouth is my curse. We have gotten past that. Of course she denied ever touching him and he did as well. The situation is this.. my son's dad is a drug addict and pays no support , he doesn't even try to contact his son. I have no control over that, hell I don't even know how to reach him. My husband knew my son was my responsibility. Since then, we have a three year old son together. My step-son gets everything he wants from his mom and her family and sometimes it really bothers me. Lately I cannot open my mouth in fear that it would excalate into a physical confronation. A few weeks back I was sitting on the coach and my husband tried to snatch the remote control off my lap, when I grabbed it he sat on me a punched me in the face atleast twice (with my glasses on). Oh, and in front of our son and my step-son.I'm at the point now that I don't know where to go and don't have the means to do it. We are supposed to close on our first home at the end of this month. I'm his maid during the day, and successful at a part-time evening job. The bills are almost paid off. He makes GREAT money and I would never survive on my pay alone. He took his wedding ring off today and told me that when I start acting right he'll put it back on. My blood is boiling. I start counseling next Friday. I hope I will get the strength to leave him. When we are good, it's great. When we're doing bad, it's beyond bad. Please help. I will look at the websites that were posted earlier.