Topic : Abuse

i'm typing up an agreement. this is what i put at the bottom. it included him taking me off truck and him paying for the taxes we owe this year because of hima nd his boss. i'[m doing this to prevent it from back firing on me. this way he cant say that i was ready to settle for this earlier why cant i do it now. and have it backfire. 

  

6. In exchange for Husbands cooperation and prompt action of the above wife releases all claim to any assets including but not limited to stocks, bonds and income. The agreement shall be void if husband in any way threatens the wife, or states that he will not act as so agreed, or any actions results in any derogatory marks on the wifes credit report or reputation. This is an agreement made in good faith by the wife to prevent a divorce trial or attorney involvement as well as the ability for both parties to move on with thier lives quickly and without a financial connection to each other. Wife in no way wishes for this agreement to be used in further court proceedings except for to be entered into court records. This agreement is only for the purpose of bringing absolute and quick conclusion to this marriage, if this agreement is turned down by the husband then wife in no way wavies any rights to any of husbands assets. Wife reserves the right to change her mind about this agreement and its contents until it is filed with the court as part of the simplified divorce that wife is pursuing to end the emotional trauma, and financial hardship that a standard divorce would cause. This in no way forces wife to settle for the amounts offered here.  

  

what do you all think? or will it cause him to blowup? at first i had in there that he pays me 4k half of the trucks worth once we pay off the loan but i figured i can add it if he blows up. 

  

  

now that i'm thinking more about it i will put it in there to give him something to say no to. this way he feels like hes winning, as he alwys has to feel that way, then when he complain i can say well look what i've giving up, besides you said that you weould give me $$ to start over if you had it and this will give it to you. just sell some stock.

Is it OK if your spouse has raised his hand to hit you but never has made contact. Well, maybe a push or shove once.

no its not okay. by raising his hand to hit you he is letting you know that he might. He is letting you know that he can, he is letting oyu know that it WILL happen eventually. it is intimidation, it is fear. the push and shove is physical abuse. it looks like your husband is escalating if he went from pusing to raising his hand to you. this is not good. please educate yourself about abuse. there is a list of websites and books on this board that i recomment you visit. please protect oyurself. cover your tracks ont he computer as well as make sure that if and when he does hit you you call  the police and press  charges. or better yet leave before it does happen. please educate yourself. abuse occursin a cycle. abuse always escalates.

i went to radioshack and it will cost me 65 to do that. the recorder is 39 and the device for the phone is 25. there is a cheaper tape recorder but it is not voice activated. i will go to walmart and price them. i went online and thier prices were pretty m uch the same. do you remember were you got the device that looks like a suction cup? the salesperson toldm ethat i buy the tape recorder. buy the thing that connects to the phone and i have to buy a headset for my phone because you plug in the tape recorder to the  adapter that connects the headset to the phone. any ideas for a cheaper alternative.

my grandmother said today that i should become a lawyer. people keep mentioning this to me. is it just because i'ma paralegal? i'm just curious as to how the legal profession can really suit someone specifically me. will you let me know what was in your mind that it might owrk for me?

It's been about 4 days now since we have not spoken to each other. He doesn't bring up the matter at all. I have tried to let go about what happened that Friday when he told me he couldn't talk to me while he was at work but turned around and called his son/ex and talked to them. Every time I think about it I just get more hurt and upset. I feel his sons have more priority than I do. In fact, everyone has more priority than I do. About his sons I agree I shouldn't be the one to discipline them. I feel it should be him and the ex-wife to discipline their children. He told me that it's not his place to discipline them because he not the sole provider. He said it should be the mother because that's who the son lives with. I think he doesn't want to be label as a mean father because of the fact that he rarely spend time with them (which I'm sure he blames me for it). Also I don't think the mother is around much for the younger son either. I don't think she's really the mothering type. Whenever the boys need something they always call their dad. The older son calls his dad whenever he needs money or a ride to somewhere. I mean his son is 22 yrs.old and he's suppose to be working so why should my husband have to give me money. He even gave his son his old cell phone to use but his son can't afford to buy minutes for the phone. My husband has to buy minutes for him so he could use the phone. I don't get it. I feel if his son can't afford to buy his own minutes for his phone then he shouldn't be having a cell phone. My husband tells me we need to watch our budget so that means we can't eat out anymore. What makes my blood boil is the fact that he tells me this but he goes and spend money on his sons and on his cars and on himself. I'm the one who is constantly watching our finance and making sure we have enough to pay for bills and the mortgage. I don't even spend at all. I can't even remember the last time I have gone shopping. I mean he doesn't even buy me a present when it's my birthday, anniversary or valentine's day not even a card. This past valentine's day I asked him where's my card and he said to me, "where's my card?" I told him I was planning on getting him a card but because our shower was out of commission at the time I wasn't able to get washed up and go out to get it. Well, he said to me it's the thought the counts.  Well, that applied to me as to why he didn't get a card from me but it didn't apply to him because he could have gotten me a card after work or something. I bet it never even cross his mind to get me a card. It's things like this that really hurts me and makes me so upset.

i've been there to. realizing that i'm last on my husbands list. after everyhting else is taken care of then sometimes he'd look at tme and think about whats happening to us. though it was not very often when he did do it he found some way to blame me. still does. thats why i've decided to get a divorce. the things that he has said and done i cant get past. hes made it clear that he could never be my partner. we could never have common goals that we both work toward. he could never support me for a dream or goal or anything that did not directly help hiim in the short term. why do you still let him in? what goes thorugh your head that is causes you to still care what he says and how he acts towards you? are you still hoping that things will work out. write down whwat he says. write down what oyu say. write down how interacting with him makes you feel. read it to yourself. is this how your husband is suposed to make you feel? is this what marriag eia about? it seems as though you are still holding on to tohe dream of having an actual marriage iwth your h. why is that? what are oyu still holding on to?sometimes you simple have to detach or let go with love from people. for your own good and happiness and health. can you answer any of these questions? any ideas? what is giving oyu your hope? what is allowing oyu to open yourself up to be hurt over and over again?

I'm on my second marriage (21 yrs in May). Every time we get into an arguement, he gives me the silent treatment. My problem isn't so much my H, but I was an only child, being adopted. Both of my adoptive parents are now gone, but I have inheritated all their antiques. My H & I have a 5 BR home, which is pretty much filled with my parents antiques. I really don't want to sell them, & I don't have funds for a storage. (Besides alot of the antiques is furniture & I'd be afraid it would get wet). I truly want to divorce my H, but I feel as thro I'm trap. I'm pretty sure I have CHF & Fibromayalgia. Not too many places will hire me if I tell them that. I can't afford any medical help, as we have no medical insurance. I don't know where to start as far as getting on my own. I feel as through if I get rid of my parents antiques I will betray them. Where do I go for help? Being in my 50's, I'm scared to death of becoming homeless.