Topic : Abuse

there is so much pain and loss in life, but we must move on and try to stay strong and live the best life we know how...my prayers are with you and i am sorry for your loss...don't know what i would do if my mom weren't here with me...i'll need to deal with that when the time comes. .. till then i'll enjoy life with her and be greatful for all i do have...yesterday was a down day, but today i am choosing to be happy and very greatful for all the blessings in my life...and this board is one of 'em!!!  

hope all is better for you...if not, talk with us and we'll try to help...stay strong:) 

that was a great analogy and very true...it's like not seeing the forest for the trees...

well i gave him the agreement as i left for owrk this morning. he called me 2 seconds later. guess he skimed it. saw the 4k part. said he doesn't want to do it. i said i put it in there to be sure me read it and to give hhim a chance to give me somemoney. he got upset becuase i put in that he cant have weapons in the house when i am there adn i had a part in there that he cants keep me from leaving th house and removing any belongings. i ilod him its standard fare and it is. he sadi i'm implying that hes an abuser and that he wont let me do that. he didn't like osmethign in the paragraph about the fact the marriage is broken and wont be re paiird. i dont know ny specifics. he will tt to me about it. he said the whole thing will be rewritten. i said well thats the template i'll be working from so dont rip it up. just cross out what oyu dont want and circle wht you want to change. hes wont take my name off the truck. i told him that if i'm on the loan i'm ont he title. and that there will be somthign in there that states if he donest pay the loan and it affects my credit that my must pay for the affect it has on my credit. i'm actually gal diw asn't taping it because i was very emotional. i think i raised my vioce but not yelling and not threateneing. now that i think about it its like he presed my buttons on purpose. he said that i'e been diustant with him why cant i do tohat when we talk about this stuff. i said i cant do it all the time. of course he wants to show it to his parent because his father has been through a divorce with alot of assets. but his father has regular divroces and was very hostile divroces. hisparent will make sure that he's protected. i want to make sure i'm protected. he also did the same old same old. telling me i'm getthign this and thatfrom my mother when i have pursposely gone out of my way to not talk to her about it and the details. he said if his attorney gets involved then it wont be how he wants it. he said that by wha ti've said in the agreement that he cants trust me, ... what if he just signed it.. i said well you have to sign it when we file and thats wh  put the 4k in it. to o make sure you read it. i haven't read any post yet since i left lastt ngiht i will do tht now. argh this is soo frustrating. i'm doing it on my own but he has to have heis parents therem not for legal advice just for personal experience arggghhh........... he did his uslay crap saying that by that agrement i made him and me adversaries. i dont think he meant it by the end b i think i'll just stillwith the agrement in the packet,,... keep it as simple as possible. i dotn know how you all have gotten throguh this when it has taken a while. i'm so frustrated right now. emotional .i'm sitting int he office crying.....i'm alone today.

I have been reading the boards just not posting much... he and I have been fighting as usual and the last couple days have been calm but it has been hard to get on the boards with him around. I dont wanna just post same old stuff and when I need to vent I do. I have had a revelation though. I realized that I may have went along with him partly because of the abuse I went thru as a child... I only knew that when I was being abused I fely special and loved. That was the only time in my life. My husband only treats me well if I do what he wants. He withholds love, affection, now my meds, and any other things I need until I do what he wants. This is the same as When I was being molested as a child  DUH!!!!! It sure took a long time to sink in. I told him that as it dawned on me the other night in an argument...it just popped out as we were argueing. He then said no it is just you wanna change me like everyone else. What a load of crap. He NEEDS to change but cant see that. Well have vented enough I guess thanks for the support.

The local community college here is offering a free job fair and business expo on education & training.  They will have prospective employers available, child care available and presentations like how to ace an interview & tips on putting together a resume.   

Maybe other community colleges in other areas provide the same type of program! 

  

Also, I am looking into medical transcripting on line courses to be able to work from my home.  That could be an option for some here-there are a few nurses if my memory serves me right. 

  

  

You may be alone physcially but you are NOT alone spiritually...WE ARE WITH YOU. 

  

I had an emotional last two days-crying and all.  This is an emotional experience we are going thru, M4L.   

  

I know you are a paralegal, have you looked at this website: www.divorcelawinfo.com? and this is a NY website but may have something of help to you in doing your divorce yourself www.partingoftheways.com. 

  

Hugs to you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

very true i need to get help and i wish i could feel bettter about my self his friend was here last night in their room drinking his friend drinked his beer and then left he take care of friends with no problem but let me ask for something

yes we still live together. he keeps trying to get e to stay longer andlonger, i think more for financialr reasons than anythign else. he said to day that once we are divorce he will have no contact with me. thats how he deals with things. once its over he pretends it never existed. i did tn press charges. i never got a bruise or anything and at the time i didn't even think i could. thats what woke me up to the fact that he could bec0ome phyisically abusive. how he reacted to it and the things he says about it also used to confuse me. that osunds like my h asking where you got it from and then saying oh with no apology. i'm not liking men right now. it will be a while till i can trust any. when i look for a job that is something i will pay attention to. how the poepl i work with treat ema dn each other espceially the men, i need an environment where i feel safe and comfortable.  he has a temper, violent one yes, it dones happen very often  becuse he knows if he did i would've been gone a long time ago. i am gouing to take his advice and be cold and distant from now on. i am gonig to sleep in the other room to. its wierd he says i love you and i miss you and i say it back, well not i miss you, but i still tell him i love him. in a way i do but nto in a way that could ever work. i do have precautions ready. i hid everyhting i bought under my car seat, hopefully he wont find it.

You are not alone we are here for you..... there are web sites I found with state laws for divorce laws. I checked them even downloaded the forms then deleted them didnt figure he would fill them out with me. He is too much of an a** to do it the easy way. We all care and are here for you. We are here to hold you up when you cant stand alone and hold your hand when you can.  

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THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!!!!!