Peace and solace in your most inner-being. To all who are in a place of uncertainty - all the questions that continue spinning through your thoughts- should I leave?; should I stay?; will it get better?; is this my fault?' will he change?; etc. etc. We spend many of our waking moments still tryng to make the "right" decisions, for our children our families, and even our abusers, that sometimes the moments are lost and gone when we should have been seeking to heal our own souls. Don't let those moments escape you today. This day is for YOU.
Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
Soul-read for the day -
"Call the soul what you like-one's marriage to the wild, one's hope for the future, one's fluming energy, one's creative passion, my way, what I do, the Beloved, the wild groom, the"feather on the breath of God." whatever words or images you may have for this process in your life, it is that which has become captured. That is why the creative spirit of the psyche becomes so bereft.
Too much domestication is like forbidding the vital essence to dance. In its proper and healthy state, the wild self is not docile or vacuous. It is alert and responsive to any given movement or moment. It is not locked into an absolute and repetetive pattern for any and all circumstances. It has creative choice. The instinct-injured woman has no choice. She just stays stuck.
There are many ways to be stuck. The instinct-injured woman usually gives herself away because she has a difficult time asking for help, recognizing her own needs. Her natural instincts to fight or flee are drastically slowed or extincted. Recongnition of the sensations of satiation, off-taste, suspicion, caution, and the drive to love fully and freely are inhibited or exaggerated.
One of the most insidious attacks on the wild self is to be directed to perform properly, implying a reward will follow(if ever.) This method will never, never work in a vital woman's life. While consistency, follow-through, and organization are all essential to implementing creative life, the woman's injunction to "be proper" kills off any opportunity to expand.
It is play, not properness, that is the central artery, the core, the brain stem of creative life. The impulse to play is an instinct. No play, no creative life. Be good, no creative life. Sit still, no creative life. Speak, think, act only demurely, little creative juice. Any group, society, institution, or organization that encourages women to revile the eccentric; to be suspicious of the new and unusual; to avoid the fervent, the vital, the innovative; to impersonalize the personal, is asking for a culture of dead women.
Injury to instinct cannot be underestimated as the root of the issue when women are acting mad, are possessed by obsession, or when they are stuck in less malignant but nevertheless destructive patterns. The repair of injured instinct begins with acknowledging that a capture has taken place, that soul-famine has followed, that usual boundaries of insight and protection have been disturbed. The process that caused a woman's capture and the ensuing famine has to be reversed. But first, there are stages to go through."
