Quote From: indigomountain
With the belief that knowledge and education are not a luxury, but a necessity, I share with you the folloing:
From - "A letter from Ann Bradley to all who have been abused....It is painful to be deceived and in chaos from their manipulations. Waiting for them to get better is futile......"
My personal "light bulb" moment:
"Characteristic of the Narcissist and others with personality disorders.
1. Self-centred - his needs are paramount
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds
3. Unreliable, undependable
4. Does not care about the consequences of his actions
5. Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behaviour, never his fault.
6. Little if any conscience.
7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.
9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and reage.
10.People are to be manipulated for his needs.
11.Rationalizeds easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other's expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject, or gets angry.
12Pathological liar.
13.Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, other.
14.No real values. Mostly situational
15.Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16.Angry, mercurial moods.
17.Uses sex to control.
18.Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions
19.Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.
20.Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment
21.Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.
22.Likes annoying others. Like to create chaos
23.Moody - swtches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.
25.Seldom expresses remorse.
26.Grandiose - convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does.
27.Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behaviour. Never his fault
28.Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.
29.he breaks women's spirits to keep them dependent.
30.Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.
31.Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.
32.Highly contradictory.
33.Convincing. Must convince people to side with him.
34.Hides his real self. Always "on".
35.Kind only if he's getting from you what he wants.
36.He has to be right. he has to win. He has to look good.
37.He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.
39.Controls money of others, but spends freeely on himself.
40.Unilateral condition of "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear your position or ideas.'
41.Always feels misunderstood.
42.You feel miserable with this person. He drains you.
43.Does not listen because he does not care.
44.His feelings are discussed, not the partner's.
45.Is not interested in problem solving.
46.Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them."
-www.narcissisticabuse.com
Apparently they also have "the emotional maturity of an advanced 6-year old."
Run!!! For your very life.
May you discover peace.
Thanks Indigo, I have been to every site on the web on this "personality type" which in reality is a total lack of true human like, personality, but rather like living a drama onstage 24/7 with yourself not even in a "supporting role" you will have no limelight, not dialog, and be unable to act with any emotion.
This breakdown of traits is by far the best I have ever seen, to fully describe the "quirks" and manipulative tactics of a narcissistic person.
If and when I do show such to my husband (don't even bother now, and I could add they wear blinders to others feedback unless ALWAYS positive and they must be "acknowledged and praised constantly only in the most glowing affirmative, he basically says, "I know you are but what am I", and projects ALL his to the tenth degree "faults" back as being yours not his.
I would also add they have the capacity to deny anything and everything negative and are much like teflon, nothing sticks, but slides right off. They will use any information you share and process it like a computer to manipulate or hurt YOU.
They are universally impossible to communicate with on any level, unless it is all positive about them, but in true hypocrisy, they constantly find the negative and fault in you and others. They view the world from the high of a god almighty, and scorn the "little people" down below. You will NEVER find yourself an equal with a narcissistic person. Not even close, and they use and lose people as a rule. They are truly EMOTIONAL dracula's. You are needed for your humanity, affirmation, and supply of blood ONLY.
Thanks, don't EVEN get me started here on the "upside down, polar opposites" of narcissistic people. RUN RUN RUN oh year don't forget arrogant, and postulating and always "on stage".
Abusers brainwash their intimate partners using methods similar to those of prison guards who recognize that physical control is never easily accomplished without the cooperation of the prisoner. The most effective way to gain that cooperation is through subversive manipulation of the mind and feelings of the victim, who then becomes a psychological, as well as a physical, prisoner. These methods form the core of abuse. 
Abusive Breakdown Tactics - the tools of abuse 
Verbal Assaults: Berating, belittling, criticizing, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, and using sarcasm and humiliation. Blowing flaws out of proportion and making fun of you in front of others. Over time, this type of abuse erodes your sense of self confidence and self-worth.
