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Topic : 09/13 Man Stealers

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Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 01:45:20 pm
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Dr. Phil’s guests feel like another woman is moving in on their men. Amber thought Angie was her best friend, until she noticed her husband, Dennis's, daily phone conversations with her and their unusually close friendship. Dennis claims their relationship is strictly platonic, but Angie's boyfriend, Nick, is also doubtful ... especially after catching them sleeping in the same bed. Then, Michelle says she had no idea her life would become so complicated after Kevin left his girlfriend, Joan, to be with her. Is Joan trying to win Kevin back, or are the ex-lovers really just friends? Share your thoughts here.

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September 14, 2006, 2:42 pm PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: suzangm

Yes it is sad that we inherit some things we would rather not have, we all have things we say and do and emulate that were shown to us over time when we were not able to understand as children and adolescence. Our adult perspective is based through-out us over the years by those that are around us, our care givers,  the good and the bad alike. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully)

Anyone on here who has experienced an infidelity as a child will swing one way or the other. Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection, and that you will get counseling to sort it out. You do not have to be non committal...
We are products of our up bringing, some things we do....are directly programmed into us before we even know we got them. Racism is this way. Demeaning Women and also being subservant to males. If your raised in a home of turbulence as an example when you grown older you can re create that turbulence so that your in your comfort zone.

Some of the men that we speak of on this board are products of men who did that to their wives, and the children looked on. Some women are the same going from one man to the next...not knowing why....they pick the same loser. They are programmed to repeat history, we all are.

 

What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females....  obviously in relationships where their husbands are not faithful.....and they don't get it. The female generally keeps blaming them selves... and it's NOT their fault. 85% of men are repeat offenders.... I have not even touched on the subject of std's and unwanted children. There are so many reasons to leave this sort of man alone.....

It is not to say that if you have experienced an infidelity that it cannot be worked out. It can... but for those who choose to ignore the experience, or do not seek "professional" assistance, history will repeat, children will look on.....and history starts over....and over.

It is the same with other sexual sins.... pedophiles continue on a pattern as well....

Many sexual problems are not about sex, they are about control.

 

I have little patience for those who take advantage of a child, or a spouse. It really pisses me off....to be honest. When a child or a spouse place their trust in you, by God give them enough respect to honor it. If your in a relationship that has infidelities.... get out of it. If you truly love each other....get some help. Children are watching...... and will emulate you in their adult lives. If you are with someone who is cheating on you, either leave.....or get some help. If they don't own up to it.....hit the road.

For me.... One time....is one time to many... Yes, it hurts... but it hurts a lot less than getting used for years, or getting an std. Life is too short, don't waste it.

 

 

 

Here are a few reasons why  some women stay in relationships when the Husband is being unfaithful.
From birth I was told that you are nothing unless you have a man. I was groomed to be submissive to men. After numerous years of sexual abuse and physical abuse, I started to lose my self worth and my esteem was in desperate need of help. I married for the first time at 16 years old. My marriage was nothing but a continuation of my childhood.
To make a long story short, I never knew life could be different than my own experiences. I never understood that I was worth more than what I was getting, I deserved what I got because I wasn't giving enough.
Your frustration that you mentioned above frustrates me. Everything is not so black and white. You should volunteer at a shelter for battered women. Hear the stories, and educate yourself on your frustrations. Maybe than you will understand the hell some women have lived through and why they do what they do.

 
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September 14, 2006, 8:01 pm PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

This show hit very close to home and i am a firm believer that men and women can be friends but there is a fine line and when the line is crossed it can take a toll on a lot of people as it did with my situation. My husband and the women next door (who I thought was my friend) started talking on there cells phones during the day while they were at work and it just built from there. My husband left me and our two kids and after her husband and her split my husband began spending the night with her next to me and our kids. Mind you she has two kids that are close in age with our kids and they were friends too. The kids are the ones that suffer the most and its not at all fair to them. It has been a little over a year since this all happened and I am still trying to come to terms with the situation. I think people need to stop and think about who would get hurt before you jump into something (that chances won't last) that can destroy the lives of there kids, spouces, and extented families. Is your happiness worth making others unhappy??
 
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September 15, 2006, 6:06 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: juleeeee

Here are a few reasons why  some women stay in relationships when the Husband is being unfaithful.
From birth I was told that you are nothing unless you have a man. I was groomed to be submissive to men. After numerous years of sexual abuse and physical abuse, I started to lose my self worth and my esteem was in desperate need of help. I married for the first time at 16 years old. My marriage was nothing but a continuation of my childhood.
To make a long story short, I never knew life could be different than my own experiences. I never understood that I was worth more than what I was getting, I deserved what I got because I wasn't giving enough.
Your frustration that you mentioned above frustrates me. Everything is not so black and white. You should volunteer at a shelter for battered women. Hear the stories, and educate yourself on your frustrations. Maybe than you will understand the hell some women have lived through and why they do what they do.

Quote*  Yes it is sad that we inherit some things we would rather not have, we all have things we say and do and emulate that were shown to us over time when we were not able to understand as children and adolescence. Our adult perspective is based through-out us over the years by those that are around us, our care givers,  the good and the bad alike. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully)

Anyone on here who has experienced an infidelity as a child will swing one way or the other. Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection, and that you will get counseling to sort it out. You do not have to be non committal...
We are products of our up bringing, some things we do....are directly programmed into us before we even know we got them. Racism is this way. Demeaning Women and also being sub servant to males. If your raised in a home of turbulence as an example when you grown older you can re create that turbulence so that your in your comfort zone.

Some of the men that we speak of on this board are products of men who did that to their wives, and the children looked on. Some women are the same going from one man to the next...not knowing why....they pick the same loser. They are programmed to repeat history, we all are.

 

What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females....  obviously in relationships where their husbands are not faithful.....and they don't get it. The female generally keeps blaming them selves... and it's NOT their fault. 85% of men are repeat offenders.... I have not even touched on the subject of std's and unwanted children. There are so many reasons to leave this sort of man alone.....

It is not to say that if you have experienced an infidelity that it cannot be worked out. It can... but for those who choose to ignore the experience, or do not seek "professional" assistance, history will repeat, children will look on.....and history starts over....and over.

It is the same with other sexual sins.... pedophiles continue on a pattern as well....

Many sexual problems are not about sex, they are about control.

 

I have little patience for those who take advantage of a child, or a spouse. It really pisses me off....to be honest. When a child or a spouse place their trust in you, by God give them enough respect to honor it. If your in a relationship that has infidelities.... get out of it. If you truly love each other....get some help. Children are watching...... and will emulate you in their adult lives. If you are with someone who is cheating on you, either leave.....or get some help. If they don't own up to it.....hit the road.

For me.... One time....is one time to many... Yes, it hurts... but it hurts a lot less than getting used for years, or getting an std. Life is too short, don't waste it.   End Quote*

 

I am a product of that sort of life...I experienced it first hand, My father was controlling and abusive to my mother.

I was cheated on, one time (when I was 18) and I packed him and he was out the door in minutes....

I am a Private Detective who specializes in Missing Persons. I also do other types of cases including infidelities. I have had the experience to share with many individuals from all levels of loss (Loss of person, and loss of a relationship). My career has taken me to meet many people of different educational levels, as well as ethnicity. I have also studied the criminal mind (as many go missing at the hands of others) as to understand how and to predict future behavior, why... a person went missing and where the missing may be hidden. I also have studied in depth how a "normal" person (or child) comes to "trust" a predator criminal, a pedophile, to begin with. I have had many years of experience with those that have been "dooped" by others through deception. Including the deceptions of psychic's.

A Pedophile, uses deception techniques (Grooming) to lure children and convince unknowing parents that they may....hone in on their prey. Some cheaters, use this same deception. In the single world they are called players. They know how to manipulate a woman through her "low self esteem" giving her the attention "she" thinks she needs...."low self esteem."

It all comes down to the same emotion. Control over another through their weaknesses.

A person who has a motive to take from others through trickery, deception.... will seek out or take advantage of the  "weak"'

 

It has been my experience (and not one that I set out to do on purpose). That I deal with cheaters, stealer's...pedophiles, murderers. Child rapist's...

Perhaps on reflection it was my childhood (that caused me to be strong, and focused and not put up with any crap from controlling "takers") It has led me to where I am now. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully) I have a good heart.... a good ear. And I have heard it all. I live my life helping others...

My thesis? Life is too short. Grab it and live it. Do no harm to others, and do not let others take from you through deception.

 

It is black and white.

 

 
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September 15, 2006, 6:07 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: miche1972

maybe i need to explain myself better. first of all i am a firm believer in fideltiy,not infedelity! i thinkt hat sex is something that is meant to be shared between 2 people that care about each other. not 3 or 4. cause if one or both partners are maried that is exactly what it is.you may as well ahve one big bed. i also don't believe in lying, to myself or my partner.

 

  I am not bitter about my ex cheating, i am grateful now, why? cause i have the perfect man right now. he works hard, he is honest with me and he treats me with the respect i deserve. as i do the same with him.

well maybe some things should be clarified as well. i am also a believer in fedelity. i too was a little girl that dreamed of meeting my prince charming and living in the house with the white picket fence and having a son and naming him junior, the fairy tale wedding and all that. but the reality is i fell for man who unfortunately lied and deceived me. and that is the reality of the sitiuation. and when sex was shared it was between 2 people that cared about each other. it was not like i met a man and he said i am in a relationship and engeged and you are just my side dish. because obviously i would never even took his number if that was the case. and of course i did not now he was going home to anyone else. and when everything came to light i left him that is how i have a child with someone else. but unfortunately that did not work out either. and me and this man ran into each other again and yes again he told my a story that once again did not include his fiance. so maybe i was being naive or maybe i just really wanted to believe him. so before you start casting judgement i am just a young female who is guilty of making some bad chioces in the men that i let in to my life. and as far as i knew this man was hard working, he was honest, and treated me like a queen i was given a commitment ring and the whole nine we went apartment shopping, he took care of my. so i am sorry that i did not play ispy on his background. and do a full criminal investigation. so maybe you should try to have some compassion or as least have some really great sex so u can stop being so uptight because from reading some of your posts you seem to have alot of things pent up inside
 

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September 15, 2006, 8:06 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

You know you dont just wake up one day and say hey, i think i want her husband now.  Sometimes things happen. Two people can be going through something, each in their own relationship and then your paths cross... why i dont know, i wish i did.  I was involved for five years with a married man.  after one year of being involved i left my husband.  This new person in my life was demanding of my time, he loved all the attention i provided.  and yes, he still lived with his wife.  i accepted this because of his plan, his so call plan that we would end up with each other. How stupid of me to believe but i did.  So in the mean time he really made be believe in him... he told me all the time how much he loved me and that he had never loved this way before.  He is very good sales man... i should have known better since prior to this we were coworkers and he spoke of other people he had met and even had considered leaving his wife before for someone else.  The light did not go on... needless to say i am an emotional case now.  My self worth is down the tubes.. i remember asking him at the beginning not to hurt me... i had been hurt so much, in my marraige that i could not go through this again.  well of course they say all the right things.  so i continue, i even continued once his wife new and that was because he said i would take time but the end result we would be together... Not true and now i am trying to get my life back together, but it is so hard everyday.  what i do know now is that he is a taker - just for himself... his wife is 14 years his senior - they have no children, she does... but all he was looking for was the attention he was not receiving at home. for him to have walked away from his wife would have meant to give up on all his monentary items that he now had because of her... and the alimony he would have had to pay her it was not something he wanted to do... he has more being with her... so this is man that really is only looking out for himself.  its funny how they say you can never teach a dog new tricks, its true... not to long ago, mutual people that we know saw him out with someone, very touchy and close and when they described the person, it was not his wife... the person described was actually someone much younger than him... so it seems he is up to his same old thing.  I now feel sorry for his wife and i am sorry for being part of his lying to his wife... as for me i just take a day at a time so that maybe one day i will love myself again...
 
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September 15, 2006, 8:45 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

 
I failed to mention my point in my last message to you.....sorry.   I am well educated in the depths a soul can take through despair at the hands of another. Whether it be through childhood upbringing, or through the hands of another. (Self inflicted or brought on by a stranger or significant other). I didn't come here to condemn you or any one else. I am aware of the many reasons abuse exists. You mentioned black and white. It is for me.... I see an alarming amount of predators, and battered women. I am sure you have noticed it too. I hope to make a difference, one person at a time.... I understand what is in "your" head is "your reality", and that is the well you dip from, your life's experiences. I only hope to help others draw a line, there is a distinct difference between making a mistake (one time) and repeatedly hurting others, or self. Yes, we all make mistakes... when that mistake is made, we know clearly where that line is (if we have learned from it). If we have not learned from it and a person becomes a repeat offender of self or others, then we can conclude that ...that persons reality is off. It seems that some of the females on this board and on the shows it's based on, do not have a line at all. and have not learned. The undoing of what has been learned is a rough one.   It is not okay to seek out bad attention (as a child would do if the right attention is not present). Some do that as adults. They set them selves up to be used. The abusers: they also do not see that they have worth....and suppress others to have control, they don't feel worth it, and so they "take it" by force. Then there are others.....who appear "victims" in reality, they seek attention by being a victim of circumstances they create them-self to gain pity from others. It would be a monumental task to address each flaw in every person on this board. I am addressing those (that I hope) are mildly off centered in self perception where they are "good-people" who have been dooped by a deceptive mate. Who by all other means are well rounded healthy individuals, and have found themselves in the middle of a relationship, where the other has strayed. It is in defining whether the strayed person is all together a loss, or has made one mistake. It is yet another thing to try and convince the partner who allows this to see that they "don't deserve" to live this way. As you have spoken there are some that are raised to think little of themselves, and they, literally seek out abuse to emulate their childhood experiences. It is fine, if you want to live in a situation of abuse where you feel "comfortable". But, the truth is.....there are "children watching" who do not have a choice.       It is simple, if we each show an interest in each other. Pointing out that they "do matter" and are valuable in the grand scheme of things then perhaps we can build bridges for one another and help them cross over. For me, my way to get that point across...is to draw a line. It is absolutely unacceptable to cheat. It is a form of stealing. Period. Starting with this statement, leaves little room for ....aw...I was drunk, sad....manipulated. Lonely...depressed. Wrong is Wrong. Is someone cheating on you? Is this the way you want "your significant" other to show how they love YOU, do you feel loved when your cheated on? Are you yourself cheating? Look up the word cheating.....in the dictionary. The definition of the word is your legacy.       What is on the other side of the line?  suffering. A lot of suffering that does not need to be. I am here to tell you that "you" are worth it. You are worth being loved, cherished, honored. And you "can" expect respect from others. I didn't come on here high and mighty from a privileged family, I am not a bible thumper (though I get good common sense from the bible). I only know to share what is from "my" experiences, and in mine.... simple cheating can elevate into physical abuse, murder...power struggles into kidnapping. Oh how sad it is some say, when others appear on t.v. who have lives that are dysfunctional. There are thousands....upon thousands... they may, meet "your" child in the future.....It is a reality. Look up....Taylor Behl, she met up with someone else's child. Or how about Natalee Holloway? Out with friends, she met up with "someone" else's child. Chandra Levy, out jogging...  If you cannot see the connection between simple matters of choice, and how to be honorable....then I am sad for that. Without defining simple morals in each other, and what is acceptable we are doomed to live in a world of predators who take our children (and loved ones) from us. It starts in the home, by being good example's..... In YOUR home. Are you raising a child to be wishy washy to their commitments? Are they learning by example to not honor vows? Are they learning from you to be a victim?   Please....draw a line.   I am not sorry I said what was on my heart, although I did type to much..  Most of that was not directed at any one person, actually no one in particular. We are all connected in so many ways...  
 
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September 15, 2006, 8:55 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: suzangm

Quote*  Yes it is sad that we inherit some things we would rather not have, we all have things we say and do and emulate that were shown to us over time when we were not able to understand as children and adolescence. Our adult perspective is based through-out us over the years by those that are around us, our care givers,  the good and the bad alike. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully)

Anyone on here who has experienced an infidelity as a child will swing one way or the other. Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection, and that you will get counseling to sort it out. You do not have to be non committal...
We are products of our up bringing, some things we do....are directly programmed into us before we even know we got them. Racism is this way. Demeaning Women and also being sub servant to males. If your raised in a home of turbulence as an example when you grown older you can re create that turbulence so that your in your comfort zone.

Some of the men that we speak of on this board are products of men who did that to their wives, and the children looked on. Some women are the same going from one man to the next...not knowing why....they pick the same loser. They are programmed to repeat history, we all are.

 

What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females....  obviously in relationships where their husbands are not faithful.....and they don't get it. The female generally keeps blaming them selves... and it's NOT their fault. 85% of men are repeat offenders.... I have not even touched on the subject of std's and unwanted children. There are so many reasons to leave this sort of man alone.....

It is not to say that if you have experienced an infidelity that it cannot be worked out. It can... but for those who choose to ignore the experience, or do not seek "professional" assistance, history will repeat, children will look on.....and history starts over....and over.

It is the same with other sexual sins.... pedophiles continue on a pattern as well....

Many sexual problems are not about sex, they are about control.

 

I have little patience for those who take advantage of a child, or a spouse. It really pisses me off....to be honest. When a child or a spouse place their trust in you, by God give them enough respect to honor it. If your in a relationship that has infidelities.... get out of it. If you truly love each other....get some help. Children are watching...... and will emulate you in their adult lives. If you are with someone who is cheating on you, either leave.....or get some help. If they don't own up to it.....hit the road.

For me.... One time....is one time to many... Yes, it hurts... but it hurts a lot less than getting used for years, or getting an std. Life is too short, don't waste it.   End Quote*

 

I am a product of that sort of life...I experienced it first hand, My father was controlling and abusive to my mother.

I was cheated on, one time (when I was 18) and I packed him and he was out the door in minutes....

I am a Private Detective who specializes in Missing Persons. I also do other types of cases including infidelities. I have had the experience to share with many individuals from all levels of loss (Loss of person, and loss of a relationship). My career has taken me to meet many people of different educational levels, as well as ethnicity. I have also studied the criminal mind (as many go missing at the hands of others) as to understand how and to predict future behavior, why... a person went missing and where the missing may be hidden. I also have studied in depth how a "normal" person (or child) comes to "trust" a predator criminal, a pedophile, to begin with. I have had many years of experience with those that have been "dooped" by others through deception. Including the deceptions of psychic's.

A Pedophile, uses deception techniques (Grooming) to lure children and convince unknowing parents that they may....hone in on their prey. Some cheaters, use this same deception. In the single world they are called players. They know how to manipulate a woman through her "low self esteem" giving her the attention "she" thinks she needs...."low self esteem."

It all comes down to the same emotion. Control over another through their weaknesses.

A person who has a motive to take from others through trickery, deception.... will seek out or take advantage of the  "weak"'

 

It has been my experience (and not one that I set out to do on purpose). That I deal with cheaters, stealer's...pedophiles, murderers. Child rapist's...

Perhaps on reflection it was my childhood (that caused me to be strong, and focused and not put up with any crap from controlling "takers") It has led me to where I am now. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully) I have a good heart.... a good ear. And I have heard it all. I live my life helping others...

My thesis? Life is too short. Grab it and live it. Do no harm to others, and do not let others take from you through deception.

 

It is black and white.

 

i have experienced first hand how one "grooms" a child to set them up for abuse! my son was the victim 2 years ago of this and through councilling what 'grooming" is and how it is done. sick sick sick
 
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September 15, 2006, 8:56 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: hersheykiss

well maybe some things should be clarified as well. i am also a believer in fedelity. i too was a little girl that dreamed of meeting my prince charming and living in the house with the white picket fence and having a son and naming him junior, the fairy tale wedding and all that. but the reality is i fell for man who unfortunately lied and deceived me. and that is the reality of the sitiuation. and when sex was shared it was between 2 people that cared about each other. it was not like i met a man and he said i am in a relationship and engeged and you are just my side dish. because obviously i would never even took his number if that was the case. and of course i did not now he was going home to anyone else. and when everything came to light i left him that is how i have a child with someone else. but unfortunately that did not work out either. and me and this man ran into each other again and yes again he told my a story that once again did not include his fiance. so maybe i was being naive or maybe i just really wanted to believe him. so before you start casting judgement i am just a young female who is guilty of making some bad chioces in the men that i let in to my life. and as far as i knew this man was hard working, he was honest, and treated me like a queen i was given a commitment ring and the whole nine we went apartment shopping, he took care of my. so i am sorry that i did not play ispy on his background. and do a full criminal investigation. so maybe you should try to have some compassion or as least have some really great sex so u can stop being so uptight because from reading some of your posts you seem to have alot of things pent up inside
honey, i do have really great sex! it happens to be with a man committed to me only and I to him!
 
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September 15, 2006, 9:02 am PDT

What do you see ?

Quote From: blaizz

You know you dont just wake up one day and say hey, i think i want her husband now.  Sometimes things happen. Two people can be going through something, each in their own relationship and then your paths cross... why i dont know, i wish i did.  I was involved for five years with a married man.  after one year of being involved i left my husband.  This new person in my life was demanding of my time, he loved all the attention i provided.  and yes, he still lived with his wife.  i accepted this because of his plan, his so call plan that we would end up with each other. How stupid of me to believe but i did.  So in the mean time he really made be believe in him... he told me all the time how much he loved me and that he had never loved this way before.  He is very good sales man... i should have known better since prior to this we were coworkers and he spoke of other people he had met and even had considered leaving his wife before for someone else.  The light did not go on... needless to say i am an emotional case now.  My self worth is down the tubes.. i remember asking him at the beginning not to hurt me... i had been hurt so much, in my marraige that i could not go through this again.  well of course they say all the right things.  so i continue, i even continued once his wife new and that was because he said i would take time but the end result we would be together... Not true and now i am trying to get my life back together, but it is so hard everyday.  what i do know now is that he is a taker - just for himself... his wife is 14 years his senior - they have no children, she does... but all he was looking for was the attention he was not receiving at home. for him to have walked away from his wife would have meant to give up on all his monentary items that he now had because of her... and the alimony he would have had to pay her it was not something he wanted to do... he has more being with her... so this is man that really is only looking out for himself.  its funny how they say you can never teach a dog new tricks, its true... not to long ago, mutual people that we know saw him out with someone, very touchy and close and when they described the person, it was not his wife... the person described was actually someone much younger than him... so it seems he is up to his same old thing.  I now feel sorry for his wife and i am sorry for being part of his lying to his wife... as for me i just take a day at a time so that maybe one day i will love myself again...

( I am picking out the parts where you have described yourself)

  • I was involved for five years with a married man. 
  • after one year of being involved i left my husband. 
  • You know you dont just wake up one day and say hey, i think i want her husband now
  •  I accepted this because of his plan,
  • i should have known better
  • i am an emotional case now.  My self worth is down the tubes..
  • i remember asking him at the beginning not to hurt me.
  • i could not go through this again
  • i even continued once his wife new
  •  i am trying to get my life back together
  • i do know now is that he is a taker - just for himself...
  • I now feel sorry for his wife and i am sorry for being part of his lying to his wife...
  • maybe one day i will love myself again...
 
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September 15, 2006, 9:31 am PDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: suzangm

Quote*  Yes it is sad that we inherit some things we would rather not have, we all have things we say and do and emulate that were shown to us over time when we were not able to understand as children and adolescence. Our adult perspective is based through-out us over the years by those that are around us, our care givers,  the good and the bad alike. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully)

Anyone on here who has experienced an infidelity as a child will swing one way or the other. Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection, and that you will get counseling to sort it out. You do not have to be non committal...
We are products of our up bringing, some things we do....are directly programmed into us before we even know we got them. Racism is this way. Demeaning Women and also being sub servant to males. If your raised in a home of turbulence as an example when you grown older you can re create that turbulence so that your in your comfort zone.

Some of the men that we speak of on this board are products of men who did that to their wives, and the children looked on. Some women are the same going from one man to the next...not knowing why....they pick the same loser. They are programmed to repeat history, we all are.

 

What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females....  obviously in relationships where their husbands are not faithful.....and they don't get it. The female generally keeps blaming them selves... and it's NOT their fault. 85% of men are repeat offenders.... I have not even touched on the subject of std's and unwanted children. There are so many reasons to leave this sort of man alone.....

It is not to say that if you have experienced an infidelity that it cannot be worked out. It can... but for those who choose to ignore the experience, or do not seek "professional" assistance, history will repeat, children will look on.....and history starts over....and over.

It is the same with other sexual sins.... pedophiles continue on a pattern as well....

Many sexual problems are not about sex, they are about control.

 

I have little patience for those who take advantage of a child, or a spouse. It really pisses me off....to be honest. When a child or a spouse place their trust in you, by God give them enough respect to honor it. If your in a relationship that has infidelities.... get out of it. If you truly love each other....get some help. Children are watching...... and will emulate you in their adult lives. If you are with someone who is cheating on you, either leave.....or get some help. If they don't own up to it.....hit the road.

For me.... One time....is one time to many... Yes, it hurts... but it hurts a lot less than getting used for years, or getting an std. Life is too short, don't waste it.   End Quote*

 

I am a product of that sort of life...I experienced it first hand, My father was controlling and abusive to my mother.

I was cheated on, one time (when I was 18) and I packed him and he was out the door in minutes....

I am a Private Detective who specializes in Missing Persons. I also do other types of cases including infidelities. I have had the experience to share with many individuals from all levels of loss (Loss of person, and loss of a relationship). My career has taken me to meet many people of different educational levels, as well as ethnicity. I have also studied the criminal mind (as many go missing at the hands of others) as to understand how and to predict future behavior, why... a person went missing and where the missing may be hidden. I also have studied in depth how a "normal" person (or child) comes to "trust" a predator criminal, a pedophile, to begin with. I have had many years of experience with those that have been "dooped" by others through deception. Including the deceptions of psychic's.

A Pedophile, uses deception techniques (Grooming) to lure children and convince unknowing parents that they may....hone in on their prey. Some cheaters, use this same deception. In the single world they are called players. They know how to manipulate a woman through her "low self esteem" giving her the attention "she" thinks she needs...."low self esteem."

It all comes down to the same emotion. Control over another through their weaknesses.

A person who has a motive to take from others through trickery, deception.... will seek out or take advantage of the  "weak"'

 

It has been my experience (and not one that I set out to do on purpose). That I deal with cheaters, stealer's...pedophiles, murderers. Child rapist's...

Perhaps on reflection it was my childhood (that caused me to be strong, and focused and not put up with any crap from controlling "takers") It has led me to where I am now. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully) I have a good heart.... a good ear. And I have heard it all. I live my life helping others...

My thesis? Life is too short. Grab it and live it. Do no harm to others, and do not let others take from you through deception.

 

It is black and white.

 

 Let me start out by saying that I do appreciate what you do. Dealing with cheaters, stealers, pedophiles, murderers and child rapist would not be an easy form of employment. You have also givin me a better understanding to your beliefs.

Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection,   How do you get the light to go off when you dont even know there is a light? Your totally assuming that everyone see this light sometime in life. You assume that everyone is capable of making the connection. Thank God you have this light and pray and show compassion to the ones that dont.


I also have studied in depth how a "normal" person (or child)
Key word here, "Normal"  What are your studies with people that have emotional disorders? You mentioned all the studies you have with the predator but fail to mention your studies with the victims. What human psychology have you studied? Any Human behavior??

What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females....
Frustration usually stems from ignorance. 

It is black and white.  In a perfect world. And I am very surprised, a woman doing what you claim to be doing should already know this. Some of what you say has merit. I just urge you to be careful with your words.
 It takes years to deprogram what has already been programed.

I totally disagree with you. I strongly believe that everything is NOT black and white. I only wish it was that simple.There is alot of grey area that needs to be considered.
But with all done an said, I can agree to disagree with you.


 
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