Quote* Yes it is sad that we inherit some things we would rather not have, we all have things we say and do and emulate that were shown to us over time when we were not able to understand as children and adolescence. Our adult perspective is based through-out us over the years by those that are around us, our care givers, the good and the bad alike. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully)
Anyone on here who has experienced an infidelity as a child will swing one way or the other. Sometimes to the extreme. I would hope when the light goes off in your head that you see the connection, and that you will get counseling to sort it out. You do not have to be non committal...
We are products of our up bringing, some things we do....are directly programmed into us before we even know we got them. Racism is this way. Demeaning Women and also being sub servant to males. If your raised in a home of turbulence as an example when you grown older you can re create that turbulence so that your in your comfort zone.
Some of the men that we speak of on this board are products of men who did that to their wives, and the children looked on. Some women are the same going from one man to the next...not knowing why....they pick the same loser. They are programmed to repeat history, we all are.
What frustrated me early on this board, is a few females.... obviously in relationships where their husbands are not faithful.....and they don't get it. The female generally keeps blaming them selves... and it's NOT their fault. 85% of men are repeat offenders.... I have not even touched on the subject of std's and unwanted children. There are so many reasons to leave this sort of man alone.....
It is not to say that if you have experienced an infidelity that it cannot be worked out. It can... but for those who choose to ignore the experience, or do not seek "professional" assistance, history will repeat, children will look on.....and history starts over....and over.
It is the same with other sexual sins.... pedophiles continue on a pattern as well....
Many sexual problems are not about sex, they are about control.
I have little patience for those who take advantage of a child, or a spouse. It really pisses me off....to be honest. When a child or a spouse place their trust in you, by God give them enough respect to honor it. If your in a relationship that has infidelities.... get out of it. If you truly love each other....get some help. Children are watching...... and will emulate you in their adult lives. If you are with someone who is cheating on you, either leave.....or get some help. If they don't own up to it.....hit the road.
For me.... One time....is one time to many... Yes, it hurts... but it hurts a lot less than getting used for years, or getting an std. Life is too short, don't waste it. End Quote*
I am a product of that sort of life...I experienced it first hand, My father was controlling and abusive to my mother.
I was cheated on, one time (when I was 18) and I packed him and he was out the door in minutes....
I am a Private Detective who specializes in Missing Persons. I also do other types of cases including infidelities. I have had the experience to share with many individuals from all levels of loss (Loss of person, and loss of a relationship). My career has taken me to meet many people of different educational levels, as well as ethnicity. I have also studied the criminal mind (as many go missing at the hands of others) as to understand how and to predict future behavior, why... a person went missing and where the missing may be hidden. I also have studied in depth how a "normal" person (or child) comes to "trust" a predator criminal, a pedophile, to begin with. I have had many years of experience with those that have been "dooped" by others through deception. Including the deceptions of psychic's.
A Pedophile, uses deception techniques (Grooming) to lure children and convince unknowing parents that they may....hone in on their prey. Some cheaters, use this same deception. In the single world they are called players. They know how to manipulate a woman through her "low self esteem" giving her the attention "she" thinks she needs...."low self esteem."
It all comes down to the same emotion. Control over another through their weaknesses.
A person who has a motive to take from others through trickery, deception.... will seek out or take advantage of the "weak"'
It has been my experience (and not one that I set out to do on purpose). That I deal with cheaters, stealer's...pedophiles, murderers. Child rapist's...
Perhaps on reflection it was my childhood (that caused me to be strong, and focused and not put up with any crap from controlling "takers") It has led me to where I am now. It is over coming these pre placed obstacles that we find our strength and purpose. (Hopefully) I have a good heart.... a good ear. And I have heard it all. I live my life helping others...
My thesis? Life is too short. Grab it and live it. Do no harm to others, and do not let others take from you through deception.
It is black and white.