Topic : 09/13 Man Stealers

i can see females or males having a really good friend of the opposite sex, but when it comes down to flirting and what they think is harmless good fun, that's where the line should be drawn.  i have a male best friend and i am married.  there is no flirting or goo goo eyes.  it's strictly the best friendship i have ever had.  i have known my guy friend since i was a freshman in high school and we were always hanging out.  till this day we still gossip and clown around like we were girlfriends.  my husband and my guy friend are close.  they watch sports together, they golf, they get along.  my husband knows my love for him is real and the love i have for my guy friend is a friend love.  my husband's family has even welcomed my guy friend into their family.  i strongly believe these people on this show don't know where to draw their boundaries.  everyone could be happy as long as there wasn't any funny stuff on the side.

I have seen women take over other womens lives.  I have had good friends that are male and believe me almost all of them have tried to hit on me.  I know that women should be able to trust other women but for some reason women ditch on each other when the other one is not around.  I am a very up front woman and this sisuation is dumb on the part of the girlfriend, my fater use to say ILOVE MY WIFE BUT OH YOU KID.  It's still true.

Careful, this could end up bad.

I hope that Dr. Phil gives these folks some real straight up advice.  Even if the relationship is plutonic, there is no way you should be sleeping in the same bed with someone who is not your spouse!!  I agree with Dr. Phil about 95% of the time so I'm sure that he will address this behavior appropriately.

I

I'm curious to see how this show will be. I really love Dr. Phil and all his shows and how real he keeps it for the guests. But this show title borders on sounding a bit like "other" talk shows where the guests end up fighting and hitting each other, until the big burly security guy comes and breaks it up. I know Dr. Phil has more class than that, and I hope that this show goes above and beyond that stereotype. I like the shows, but the titles lately are a little cheesy!

Beyond that, I know he will set the women straight with what's going on in their lives with their men, and in the same sense, will help the men understand how the women are feeling, if they truly have strict friendships with the other men. It would seem that having another male point of view for issues would really help a relationship, because the husband and wife can get in a rut, where everything just becomes routine and conversation becomes automatic. So while having another view on an issue would be nice, I can see how it would definitely be misinterpreted by either husband OR wife.

I have endured a man stealer in my life. Sure it started out as a friendship, then grew into something more. The women take time and emotional support from your spouse. Before you

know what hits you she knows more about your relationship than you do. Giving her more insight

than you have. I say if you are feeling left out, then too much time and emotions are being given to the friendship instead of the marriage. It is common knowledge you marry your best friend.

Sure there are some exceptions, but both need to know where the limits are.

i am talking from "the other woman's" perspective.  i didn't even think rob and i could be any more than friends.  not only was he married, but he wasn't my type, he was religious, more religious than i and talked about his family often.  it became a "coincidence" seeing each other at public places.  i didn't think nothing of it except that we enjoyed similar things.  i was invited by his wife out to to the house for a cookout and offered to babysit their three children.  pretty soon we had playful bets going and found kindred spirits that we were born practically on the same day, 10 years apart.  if i heard he was having an especially terrible day at his job, i would stop over with a banana split and encourage him a bit.  it wasn't until i heard that my ex-boyfriend, the love of my life, was getting married that i fell to pieces.  rob could relate with feelings of emptiness and loneliness.  he felt disconnected in his family.  i thought it was so special at the time that we fell into each other's arms for support.  but the hugs lingered and soon turned into kisses.  less than a week later, i lost my virginity to him.  i still viewed him as only a friend, but the months rolled on and i was sleeping with him all the time. growing up in a strong religious family i knew my thinking wasn't correct.  i began to go into a downward spiral and soon i found myself with his wife, trying to apologize profusely and figure out a game plan to move forward from this.  four years later i still struggle and am frustrated with myself for allowing myself to give him all my emotional love.  he is upset with himself as well, trying to build what's left of his marriage and just coinciding with his wife for the children.  he lost a lot of money on the deal, his religion, his self worth and a caring wife. our friendship is strained and is tempered with my jealousy because he is able to move on and i am not.  i have been agonizing and suicidal over this issue because we both believe at another time and in another place, we would have been a perfect match for one another.

so, if you begin to have feelings for a friend of yours, look at the situation and evaluate if it's really worth the gamble of your self worth and the hurting of others.

When I was very young (18) I became involved with a 28 yr old man - to make someone else jealous - how stupid...I know !   The situation went from bad to worse very quickly.  I ended up

marrying the older guy (still trying to make this other person jealous) My mother, my friends

everyone I knew tried to talk me out of this, but I was young, stupid and extrememly hard headed. The older guy had absolutely no intention of being faithful to me.  I had never had a physical/sexual relationship before so I was extremely naive.  Back in the 70's things were viewed differently too.

Anyway, this slug I married ended up sleeping with not onl his co-workers, our mutual friends

BUT....my sister-in-law.  My brother was serving Vietnam  and she was out serving the service men!  I walked in and caught them once (in my bed of course)  The second time my own father

caught them at a family outting. 

The relationship went down hill further from their I ended up getting out ASAP and never looking back.  To say the least this is a forbidden topic of discussion in the family.  My sister-in-law denies it to this day, my brother has "forgiven her of all her mistakes" and I'm still irked !  I have seen her a couple of times  (funerals etc..) and I have behaved like the proper lady my mother raised me . Now 30 yrs later I still think they are both sick and very disrespectful.  What goes around does come around. Blood may be thicker than water, but lust has no boundaries.  Some people are just disgusting!  

The problem is that there will usually, almost always, be "funny stuff"!