Topic : 09/13 Man Stealers

I'm so sorry to hear about the awful stuff you've endured in your life.  It's hardly surprising that you fell for someone who treated you lovingly, even if he was committed elsewhere.  You're only human and we all long to feel loved and lovable.  Obviously, you know that this man was bad for you in the long run, because you've ended it with him.  That doesn't mean you're not in hell, because you've given up something that felt good, even though you knew intellectually that it was not good.  You have lost something that felt precious and, naturally, you're going to feel pretty badly about it for some time.  But I admire you for having the courage to listen more to your head than to your heart.  You have a great deal toovercome, but it's clear that you're making a powerful effort.  I will keep youin my thoughts and truly wish you the best - which is what you deserve, although you were denied even basic love for so long.

As for the holier-than-thou preachers, not only are they wrong, but they're so carried away by the sin of pride that all they can do is criticize others.  They're foolish and mean-spirited.  Any god they believe in cannot be happy with them.  Their emotional shortcomings should carry no weight with you.  Practice ignoring the evil message sent to you by your father by ignoring those horrible people who put you down without knowing a true thing about you.  Just pay attention to those who show that they care for you while also being honest when you trip up.  And never forget, we all trip up one way or the other.  Hang in there.

You were betrayed by one friend and you conclude that all women are to be distrusted?  That's illogical.

I lived 32 years with a man who did not love me......probably never did.  I did not know that until I found someone who REALLY loves me.  If you have questions about whether your mate loves you or you love him, then YOU DON'T and HE DOESN'T!   I have said many times since beginning my true relationship that I love him because he loves me.  We do that for each other.  The most wonderful thing he can give me is to accept my love.  He returns it constantly.  When you have a TRUE love, there is NO doubt. Period.  So, as long as you are hanging on to this no good taker (and there are only 2 kinds of people in life....givers and takers.......and you appear to be the giver, he the taker)  he will milk you for all you are worth, emotionally, financially, and any other way he can.  Get rid of the bum. My kids say the same thing Dr. Phil does.....it is better to be from a broken relationship than be IN one.  You NEED to move on, make the break, and once you do, EMPOWER YOURSELF by telling him NO just once.  Once you tell him NO the first time (and it's scary, but you have to do it for your own control and self worth), but once you do it the first time, it becomes easier, and it makes you stronger in resisting his whining and demanding because that's all these guys do to women like you and what I used to be.  You MUST move on, get rid of him and work on seeking a mate that fits the good qualities and doesn't have any of the bad ones.  You know what is not good in a mate so don't fall back into that trap.  I'm telling you, being alone is better by far than being in an emotionally abusive relationship, and if you don't think you are in an emotionally abusive relationship you need to take a reality check.  After I got rid of my disloyal husband, I felt like I had a huge weight removed and I realized just how much he and our relationship just plain exhausted me.

 

I have one searching question for you:  WHY WOULD YOU LOVE A MAN WHO TREATS YOU LIKE THIS???  HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU.

 

If he did it once, he'll do it again......and probably with the same woman.  You have no idea what you DON'T know about.  You should never have to tolerate a cheating mate.  If he really loves you, he would have no desire or need to cheat.  His desire would be to come home and spend time with YOU and no one else.  He would look forward to being with you. 

See my post at "In a Better Place Now".  But she was not the manipulator, she was just dumb.  She was my best friend of over 30 years.  He was the scoundrel, but for someone who professed to be such a good, churchgoing Christian she sure does not live what she professes. 

Best wishes to you, and I know you are a stronger and better person than he or she deserve.  What is wrong with these people??

What bothers me most about today's show is the not so underlying message that men and women can't be friends. If it was the husband and his cousin hanging out all the time and talking all the time, well...we wouldn't be seeing these people on Dr. Phil. Is it fair to assume there is an affair just because they are the opposite sex. Honestly, how embarrassing and sad is that. A man and a woman are together so they must be cheating and having sex. They're not having sex? They're talking to each other like guys and guys and gals and gals? Why that's not right. Men and women should not be allowed to fraterinize because it could no doubt lead to friendship or worse.

Shame.

 She wasn't MY Friend, She was HIS.  Plus I never said that ALL women are to be distrusted.  But believe me my 6th since sure works overtime.

 My husband of 23 yrs and I were geographically seperated for 9 months..It was a pre-planned  seperation to buy a house, for me to get ajob in our new location and get our son into high school.. We saw eachother every couple of weeks.. 300 miles apart.. well, much to mysurprise, he started talked to a lady that I thought was one of my bestfriends.. they were 1000 miles apart.. they were together in Nov andagain in Jan.. with my blessing (stupid, stupid, stupid).. I found the cell phone bills inMarch.. a week before he was to move to where I was.. They spend HOURS on the phone each and every day.. They both claim that they are just "friends".. nothing happened when they were together in Nov and Jan.. however, he called me from her hotel room..

He moved into his own apartment in May.. Now he says that the reason that he left me has nothing to do with his "friend".. and she claimed to be my friend.. ofcourse, one soon realizes that she never was my friend.. 7 years ofconfiding, socializing, raising children together.. for her to do this.. and he is making me out to be the "bad guy" here.. He's been out of the house for 4 1/2 months and I just can't talk to a lawyer or talk about a divorce. I know that it's coming. but I just can't bear to deal with it right now..

What happened to commitment?? what happened to vows? what happened to friendship?? Do this people not realize what they are doing?? I never believed in "midlife crisises" before.. but I do now.. He is a different man since he started this relationship with her.. is it sexual?? I have no idea.. but that really doesn't matter.. She is more important to him than I am.. His wife of  almost 24 years.. and yes, there are kids involved.. on both sides.. I guess that she is more important than them too..  and that hurts.. I don't think that either of them have any idea of what they have truly done..

I try to take the high road on all things here.. and that's hard to do. I took my vows all those years ago seriously.. why didn't he??

myself? i have a real hard time trusting other women. I guess i myself know how women think and well have reservations about intentions they may have.  i have NEVER cheated or been the other woman but for some reason i don't trust women.

 

  i have a family member who thought it was alright to walk up to my BF and grab him by the privates everytime my back was turned. which really bothered him because well he was raised with morals and values. after 8 years he has finally told me, but to say i stood my ground and we had a major blowout after is an understatement. we used to be very close until that. some things are just inappropriate and well that is one of them. it has reallyt strained the whole family to a point. that is the sad part but i was not int he wrong there and i do not take any fault for that

perhaps they were dropped on their heads as infants and they lost the sense of morals and values? dunno, just a thought though

The thing that gets me the most about the show "Man Stealers" is that obviously Angie is not stealing Dennis from Amber. If Dennis wants to be there how is that stealing. Further more how much more pathetic can Amber be after being cheated on so many times and then blaming all her marital problems on Angie. I am sorry but if you can't trust your husband and you are asking others to keep an eye on him than you shouldnt be together in the first place. If all your time is spent consumed by making sure your spouse is where they are supposed to be, when do you spend time with your children?  Give me a break. All of them need to grow up and focus on their children.