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Topic : 09/14 More Brats

Number of Replies: 224
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Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 01:46:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever been at the mall or in a restaurant, and all eyes are on you because your child is throwing a fit? Dr. Phil has advice on dealing with outrageous temper tantrums. Madeline says her daughter, Isabella, takes the terrible twos to a whole new level. She kicks, screams and even bangs her head against concrete walls when she doesn’t get her way. Isabella’s antics have gotten so bad that her daycare center began videotaping her. What’s behind this toddler’s fury? Then, Mary says her 14-year-old daughter, Brittany, is totally out of control. She bites, stomps, throws things and even told a police officer that her father, Rich, punched her in the face! Four months have passed since Rich and Mary sent Brittany to live with her grandmother. Now, they face off on Dr. Phil’s stage. Will they all be able to live under the same roof again? Can this family heal their pain and move on? Join the discussion.

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September 9, 2006, 7:32 am CDT

Brats

What would possess anyone to think that pawning off a problem would solve a problem.  The problem seems to be the parents who refuse to recognize that they need to solve their issues first.

 

Why did they not get help and then try to solve issues caused by them.  If there are no mental issues or denials, then testing for a chemical imbalance would be next on the list

 
September 9, 2006, 7:44 am CDT

Angelman's Syndrome

I have a friend whose 3 year old daughter has been diagnosed with Angelman's Syndrome.  I had never heard of this before and read about it on their website.  Sometimes, are these "brats" really brats or could they have a physical problem?  I realize that parents today have inconsistencies in their love and disciplinary actions and create a lot of these "brats" but I also believe that there may be a physical reason for it and we as people should not be immediately judgemental in our thoughts. 
 
September 9, 2006, 8:16 am CDT

My little nephew....lol

 

   Hi all....my nephew Tristan....well, lets say that he can be pretty terrible for the terrible two's.  We decided one day about 5pm to go to this outlet store....he was just screaming and carrying on the whole way through the store.  Then, we met up with my brothers wife after work to have dinner, now I am not sure if it was cause he waited too long for dinner....or if this is just part of the terrible two's...he pretty muched climbed all over in the booth...unfortunately there were no high chairs available...he was throwing things....and tried to climb on the table...I guess even when I went to the bathroom, he decided to try the table again and spilled a drink....and was screaming again....his mother had to take him outside to calm down, for he was disturbing the whole restaurant....Help!  I think the need Nanny 911....lol...Any ideas Dr Phil?  Kathy

 
September 9, 2006, 8:38 am CDT

Regarding "brats"

I think that for the most part, by and large, parents create the behaviour in their children because they're afraid to discipline children when they need to start.  You have to start disciplining the children BEFORE the age of five.  Long before.  My children NEVER acted up in public.  Ever.  They got their hand slapped if needed, a swat on the behind if necessary, and consistent discipline.  They are now 13 and 18 and really have not given me any trouble whatsoever. 

I see alot of parents of toddlers talking to them like they're little babies still....one woman at the zoo.....OMG, I thought to myself "Is this the way that she talks?"  Then I realized it was how she was talking to her son in a stroller.  Why are parents talking to their children who are old enough to understand and she's talking to him like he's a brand new baby?!!!!  I had to get away from it.  It was so condescending and appeasing and ANNOYING!  If kids are listening to their parents talk to them like this, I'd be a brat, too!

Kids learn that if their parents are such mushes around them at that age, they will manipulate you in a heartbeat if they know that they can get what they want AND get away with it.  The kid having to go outside because he was acting up in the restaurant?  Hello.... that is what he wanted because he didn't want to be at that restaurant.  I think McDonald's screwed up by making the play area because kids think that they can do that wherever they are.  Parents are afraid of their kids, and the kids know it.  Parents are afraid to discipline their children in front of public eyes, the kids know this, so there is this unspoken thing between.....and hence, we have The Nanny (who teaches consistent discipline and MANNERS, by the way) for solving a nation full of parents without backbones. 

I have made mistakes as a parent, too, but I think that the more that we move away from consistency and manners being instilled in our children, we're going to see more of this behaviour and it's going to go on and on and on.  Parents should never be afraid of their children's behaviour, or a reaction to "no".  The parents are the adults - it's time to act like it.  Stop babying your children and lay down the law.  Yes, some of it could be a physical issue but for the most part, even children with disabilities need consistency and they can learn.  Just at a different pace and more slowly.
 
September 9, 2006, 10:11 am CDT

Furious ...

One year ago, I had to put my daughter (who was then 15) in placement with childrens services because she was out of control.  I found out she'd been sneaking and seeing a 25 year old man, and she'd been abusing drugs and alcohol.  Since she's been in placement with this agency, they have been extremely negligent in their handling of the case.  She is again, at the age of 16 now, dating a 24  year old man, who is heavy into drugs and alcohol.  I have discussed this with the childrens agency and was assured this activity would be stopped.  This was weeks ago.  I recently checked my daughter's email, which she has access to from school, and learned (unbeknownst to her) that she is still dating this 24 year old man and is sexually invovled with him as well.  How do you fight an out of control teen and an agency who enables her to remain out of control?  Her county caseworker knows very well, because I have informed him of this information personally, he simply refuses to act on it.  I DESPERATELY need advice! 

 

Crystal - A very angry mother ...

 
September 9, 2006, 10:16 am CDT

your kids are not the only ones to know their place

While at the grocery store with my 13 year old niece, my 8 and 5 year old girls (enjoying shopping perhaps with too much celebration) a woman approached me to say that this other woman was annoyed with the commotion we were having. My niece having me under her scrutiny (checking to see if I was someone she could trust) did not need to see me succumb to such a comment in a moment of weakness. So,- I said, "How Rude of you!" and the lady went scurrying away! This was the best reaction I possibly could have provided for everyone involved and I am very proud of myself. The moral of this story is that NO ONE can or should have absolute control over any other person. I did, however, suggest to the kids that we should tone it down so as not to offend the people around us and they did.
 
September 9, 2006, 10:24 am CDT

when kids are brats

Quote From: kat12769

 

   Hi all....my nephew Tristan....well, lets say that he can be pretty terrible for the terrible two's.  We decided one day about 5pm to go to this outlet store....he was just screaming and carrying on the whole way through the store.  Then, we met up with my brothers wife after work to have dinner, now I am not sure if it was cause he waited too long for dinner....or if this is just part of the terrible two's...he pretty muched climbed all over in the booth...unfortunately there were no high chairs available...he was throwing things....and tried to climb on the table...I guess even when I went to the bathroom, he decided to try the table again and spilled a drink....and was screaming again....his mother had to take him outside to calm down, for he was disturbing the whole restaurant....Help!  I think the need Nanny 911....lol...Any ideas Dr Phil?  Kathy

It's usually because they need some attention. They don't understand the concept of entertaining themselves. Children, if given a task whether it's coloring at a restaurant table or counting napkins simply need something that they CAN DO rather than only being told what not to do.
 
September 9, 2006, 10:25 am CDT

Poor Nephew

The first probelm was taking this poor child out when he was obviously upset at the outset. Then to subject him and an enitre restaurant to a child who was out of control was unfair to him and the diners. The parents need a time out and you, as a "concerned" aunt, should have put off a trip to the outlet for another time when he would have been able to handle it. Most of the problems with small children are not the child's issues but the parents who don't know how to parent. My children, who are now raising their own families, were able to go to church, restaurants and shopping from the time they were very small without incident. They were respectful, helpful and kind and have turned into responsible citizens who give back to their communities and their children. I was strict and they knew the boundries and the consequences of their actions. Never had a problem with school, drugs or police at the door. I consider myself blessed and successful.
 
September 9, 2006, 10:29 am CDT

thank you

Quote From: cjluck

I have a friend whose 3 year old daughter has been diagnosed with Angelman's Syndrome.  I had never heard of this before and read about it on their website.  Sometimes, are these "brats" really brats or could they have a physical problem?  I realize that parents today have inconsistencies in their love and disciplinary actions and create a lot of these "brats" but I also believe that there may be a physical reason for it and we as people should not be immediately judgemental in our thoughts. 

 I have an 8 year old son who has ADHD,ODD and Bipolar! I avoid outings as much as possible but there are times I have to take him out and let me tell you it is never fun! he takes his medications all the time,but being in stores with a large amount of people is instant reason for a melt down.

 

   His behaviors are no better at home. he is under the care of a child psychiatrist since he was 3 and everyday is a little harder with him.         

 

     I have gone as far as to have him removed from the home because I was ready to have a breakdown.

 

         But the meaning of all this is not allkids arebrats because of the parents, some kids just can't help it. As trying as they are, they don't want to act that way allot of the time and acting that way does upset them as much as me or you allot of the time.

 
September 9, 2006, 10:31 am CDT

not always so easy

Quote From: tagalong1

What would possess anyone to think that pawning off a problem would solve a problem.  The problem seems to be the parents who refuse to recognize that they need to solve their issues first.

 

Why did they not get help and then try to solve issues caused by them.  If there are no mental issues or denials, then testing for a chemical imbalance would be next on the list

Although most of us do recognize our kids mental issues, it is really hard to always have them in total control! As much as it upsets the people around, have you ever seen the parent of one of these kids look on their face when their child is acting up in public?? I know when it happens to me I wanna just crawl into a hole and not be seen.
 
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