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Topic : 09/14 More Brats

Number of Replies: 224
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 08, 2006, 01:46:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever been at the mall or in a restaurant, and all eyes are on you because your child is throwing a fit? Dr. Phil has advice on dealing with outrageous temper tantrums. Madeline says her daughter, Isabella, takes the terrible twos to a whole new level. She kicks, screams and even bangs her head against concrete walls when she doesn’t get her way. Isabella’s antics have gotten so bad that her daycare center began videotaping her. What’s behind this toddler’s fury? Then, Mary says her 14-year-old daughter, Brittany, is totally out of control. She bites, stomps, throws things and even told a police officer that her father, Rich, punched her in the face! Four months have passed since Rich and Mary sent Brittany to live with her grandmother. Now, they face off on Dr. Phil’s stage. Will they all be able to live under the same roof again? Can this family heal their pain and move on? Join the discussion.

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September 10, 2006, 2:19 pm CDT

i'm going through it now

Quote From: terrilynnp

hey ,i was reading up on everyones message,and i just wanted to say that im going through the same.i have a 3 year old daughter and a 6 year old son,i love them both but they drive me crazy!! i am at a loss as to what to do.i am at the point now that when i have to go shopping or if any errands have to be done i cant take my kids with me which is really unfair!!!

there is absolutly nothing that i wont do for them ,and they know it which is probably why they act out so much.my son tries to hold his own while we are out but when it comes to his sister he seems to let it all go!

i just wish it was possible to go anywhere that there is people and not be stared at after being in the store for a whole 10 mins! i no its not gonna be that way forever,but i just wish that it will change soon,i have another child coming into the world in feb. and  all i want is some peace! its not much to ask for.

so please tell me dr .phil what can i do to try and change this before it gets any worse!

 

thanks so much,

terrilynn

paradise,nl,canada

Apply to the Super Nanny show for assistance---maybe she can model parenting for you!
 
September 10, 2006, 10:38 pm CDT

Brats ?

Quote From: shilohwebb

I hope my best friend watches this show!Her kids are 5,12 & 14 and they are horrible! Everytime we talk on the phone all I hear is her screaming at her kids that she is on the phone and will deal with them later!She screams this 10 or 15 times during a phone call! It's worse when I go to her house,they yell over each other and I leave with a migrane! It would help my friend alot if her family(Mom&sisters) would butt out! They are always telling her she is a terrible mom and that she is abusive to her kids! Her kids call her stupid all the time-even the 5 year old does!The kids are getting better,but I worry about the older two,when they get into boys!There have been no boundaries set for these girls so far and they will most likely protest any they might get!

I am a full time carer of my  2 year old Grand daughter. She throws tantrums and so forth. I was told about the food being a key the food we have noe is substanded and our little ones are not getting the well needed vitamins. So I gave her the extra one  but with no sugar or additives she is much improved still need to work with her wriggly ness , I ve herd that this is another problem which needs to be delt with in the early years other wise it ll be harder in her teens.

 
September 11, 2006, 7:43 am CDT

Reasons & Meanings

 First, “discipline” & “punishment” are not the same thing. "Punishment" is the consequence of undesirable behaviors, i.e. a tool. “Discipline” is the method/process used to mold.

 

Second, statements such as “My child(ren) did not act like that!” & "Kids didn't act like that in my day!" are flawed arguments. They are statements that are a bit blind to real factors & situation. One person’s method or methods that worked with one child will not necessarily work with all children, including their own different children.

 

I personally believe there are far too many factors for anyone to be able to pin down any one thing as the sole reason for today’s epidemic of “bratty” behavior among children. Single parenting, lack of parenting skills, loss of contact & exchange with the older generation, 50 million different “experts” who all have their own ways that we should follow, over stimulation of both the child(ren) and the parent(s), ect., are all factors that can & do affect children as well as their parent(s).

 
September 11, 2006, 8:08 am CDT

our 6 yr old

I havea 6 year old who is a emotional roller coster, She can be sweet and innocent one second and the next thing you know she is throwing a tantrum to whoever is closest to her. She bites kicks pinches spits throws thing (hard objects) and even runs away. The running away she has taught my 4 and 3 year old. She can scale a 6 foot fence. We have seeked help for her but counsuling became a play session and I have even tried to get help from other sources which all say that they can't help because if they do and she gets hurt on their advice then they can be sued. Whenever we go anywhere 99% of the time it turns into a severe tantrum then we will hear people talking, so I will confront them most of the time just because we confront them and they know what we heard they will sit there and cry. It drives me crazy. I love my daughter very much and wish her tantrums would stop. So for those of you who can't stand "shrikers" "whinners" "yellers" Or what not then wear earplugs cause if you don't know what kind of stituation they are in you have no right to judge. And parents who have kids like this don't be embarrassed because God gave you these kids because he knew we had love and understanding for them.
 
September 11, 2006, 12:33 pm CDT

Unbelievable

Quote From: swchick

 I hate "shriekers" - little children who are generally two-ish  whose parents allow them to shriek, in high-pitched staccato bursts, repeatedly in a public place without removing them from said public place.  The kids are bored or tired or whatnot,  and parents have no right to inflict that kind of misery on other people.

FWIW, my son was always corrected with a sharp look and words of disapproval if he raised his voice above acceptable levels,  from earliest childhood--- certainly from late-babyhood on.  These bad mothers whom I judge, simply ignore the shrieking as though it isn't even happening.   They give no look or words of rebuke, they don't even try to express the concept that shrieking repeatedly in public is bad and must stop.   (My son was no genius baby, but consistent dissapproval was  effective at conveying the message that shrieking was not "ok".  And I never let myself get away with ignoring my kid so I could get the shopping done.)

Nor do they make any move to attend to the underlying reason the child is shrieking,  nor do they move to leave the store as they should and come back without the shrieker.

I just got back from a shopping trip to the local discount Target store.    No trip to target would be complete without a shrieker in a cart who can be heard for a full hour shrieking over and over and over and over, and the stupid "helpless" parent  pretending it isn't happening and/or that nothing at all can be done to stop it, or at least stop it from disturbing others.    

If it were acceptable to go up to parents in public and tell them how to handle the situation (which of course it isn't),  I think they would think the idea that a young kid can be reproved for shrieking or taken out of the store and attended to is an idea from outer-space, and altogether just too much to ask of them.

LoL, people with this kind of  attitude are unbelievable.  Maybe someday we can all walk in each others shoes.  No one is perfect and no one has the right to JUDGE anyone.

 
September 11, 2006, 1:18 pm CDT

09/14 More Brats

Quote From: rayvinfive

I can understand the frustration.  My son will be three next month and his tantrums are worse now than when he was two.  Some things we've done to curb the public tantrums have worked well.  If we're going to be out and about around meal times we take some snacks with us to curb the hungry crankiness.  Goldfish crackers were a favorite for a long time.  Now he loves the fruit snacks that you can buy in bulk from Costco.  There's three different flavors and we let him choose which one he wants.

 

The best way to get him to stop his tantrums, for us, is to ask him if he wants to got sit in the car with mommy/daddy while the other finishes the shopping.  His answer is usually NO, so then we tell him that he needs to stop the tantrum and be a good boy.  It usually works for us.  But, if it doesn't my husband and I have no problem walking out of wherever we are and going home.  My son hates that, so we don't have to do it often.

 

The other day we went to a restaurant for dinner, and it was late.  By the end of dinner my son had had enough and was really close to meltdown/tantrum point.  He was climbing all over the seats, trying to climb on the table, and getting mad at us when we kept him in the booth.  Instead of subjecting the rest of the diner to his tiredness (I won't call it bad behavior because he was at the end of his rope and tired) my husband took him out to the car while I paid for the meal and cleared out our stuff.

 

I don't understand why more parents don't just leave if their child is not behaving in an acceptable manner.  There is nothing wrong with it, in my opinion.  The rest of the world should not have to deal with my child's screaming out of control.  Maybe I'm getting worked up, but after working retail between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you have to deal with everything.

 

I think that if a child cannot behave in an appropriate manner while out in public, they should stay home until they can.

 I have a 7 yr old who has Autism. We never know what will set him off into a meltdown. Sometimes, I HAVE to get medicine or something when he is with me. I do the best I can to get him out asap when he is having problems. My son sometimes is NOT ABLE to act appropriately. He cannot help it. Should I keep him at home at all times so you might not get offended?
 
September 11, 2006, 1:18 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: bnmrmom28

LoL, people with this kind of  attitude are unbelievable.  Maybe someday we can all walk in each others shoes.  No one is perfect and no one has the right to JUDGE anyone.

I was absolutely appalled that this woman could b e so cold and heartless. she maybe should write a book or get a TV show, so she can show how to be a perfect person and parent!

 

  People who think they know everything about someone they have only seen a store for a few minutes are very shallow people. God help that she never has to raise a child with disabilities and have to feel the way allot of parents do when they act out. 

 
September 11, 2006, 1:27 pm CDT

ha

Quote From: swchick

 I hate "shriekers" - little children who are generally two-ish  whose parents allow them to shriek, in high-pitched staccato bursts, repeatedly in a public place without removing them from said public place.  The kids are bored or tired or whatnot,  and parents have no right to inflict that kind of misery on other people.

FWIW, my son was always corrected with a sharp look and words of disapproval if he raised his voice above acceptable levels,  from earliest childhood--- certainly from late-babyhood on.  These bad mothers whom I judge, simply ignore the shrieking as though it isn't even happening.   They give no look or words of rebuke, they don't even try to express the concept that shrieking repeatedly in public is bad and must stop.   (My son was no genius baby, but consistent dissapproval was  effective at conveying the message that shrieking was not "ok".  And I never let myself get away with ignoring my kid so I could get the shopping done.)

Nor do they make any move to attend to the underlying reason the child is shrieking,  nor do they move to leave the store as they should and come back without the shrieker.

I just got back from a shopping trip to the local discount Target store.    No trip to target would be complete without a shrieker in a cart who can be heard for a full hour shrieking over and over and over and over, and the stupid "helpless" parent  pretending it isn't happening and/or that nothing at all can be done to stop it, or at least stop it from disturbing others.    

If it were acceptable to go up to parents in public and tell them how to handle the situation (which of course it isn't),  I think they would think the idea that a young kid can be reproved for shrieking or taken out of the store and attended to is an idea from outer-space, and altogether just too much to ask of them.

I would love to unleash my 8 year old son on you........................ without any of his meds and see if your "perfect" parenting skills work with him! Cause I think you would choke on your own words! I have used and tried every kind of discipline I can.................short of beating him and being an abusive mother. Raising a child with ADHD, and than adding Oppisitional Defiant Disorder and Bipolar on a  child, what gives you the right to judge me or any other parent when allot of us are doing the best we can. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster in my home and when a child is "manic" and not sleeping at all, their behavior goes down the toilet too! There are times when you have no choice but to take him out. Also why should I have to punish my son for disorders he never asked to have? I have 2 other children who are very well behaved at home and in public!

 

 

  Hooray for you being a perfect mother!!! Wish we could all be like you. 

 

 People like you make me so angry! you are unbelievable.

 
September 11, 2006, 1:29 pm CDT

no

Quote From: kyrosemom

 I have a 7 yr old who has Autism. We never know what will set him off into a meltdown. Sometimes, I HAVE to get medicine or something when he is with me. I do the best I can to get him out asap when he is having problems. My son sometimes is NOT ABLE to act appropriately. He cannot help it. Should I keep him at home at all times so you might not get offended?
Wish we could all hit the local target at the same time!! with our shriekers! I understand what you go threw. I have to go Threw it as well. Hang in there and don't let these people get to you.
 
September 11, 2006, 4:14 pm CDT

i can't believe there are really people...

Quote From: swchick

 I hate "shriekers" - little children who are generally two-ish  whose parents allow them to shriek, in high-pitched staccato bursts, repeatedly in a public place without removing them from said public place.  The kids are bored or tired or whatnot,  and parents have no right to inflict that kind of misery on other people.

FWIW, my son was always corrected with a sharp look and words of disapproval if he raised his voice above acceptable levels,  from earliest childhood--- certainly from late-babyhood on.  These bad mothers whom I judge, simply ignore the shrieking as though it isn't even happening.   They give no look or words of rebuke, they don't even try to express the concept that shrieking repeatedly in public is bad and must stop.   (My son was no genius baby, but consistent dissapproval was  effective at conveying the message that shrieking was not "ok".  And I never let myself get away with ignoring my kid so I could get the shopping done.)

Nor do they make any move to attend to the underlying reason the child is shrieking,  nor do they move to leave the store as they should and come back without the shrieker.

I just got back from a shopping trip to the local discount Target store.    No trip to target would be complete without a shrieker in a cart who can be heard for a full hour shrieking over and over and over and over, and the stupid "helpless" parent  pretending it isn't happening and/or that nothing at all can be done to stop it, or at least stop it from disturbing others.    

If it were acceptable to go up to parents in public and tell them how to handle the situation (which of course it isn't),  I think they would think the idea that a young kid can be reproved for shrieking or taken out of the store and attended to is an idea from outer-space, and altogether just too much to ask of them.

if it were acceptable to do that, there would be soooo many fights, and people like you wouldn't last very long.  that is just so sad to have an attitude like that.  I love to read everything from the high and mighty parents who think they know everything.  unless you have walked in the same shoes, you haven't got a clue.i am a parent of a well raised 24 year old, and crazy 16 year old daughter, and a 14 year old son with ODD.  I spent 9 years working with disabled kids, and loved my job.  angelman's syndrome, adhd, autism, these are all special children. 

 

and to the parents of any of the behavior children, i would like to give one sentence of advice:

 

God would not give you anything you couldn't handle.

 

take care.

 
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