Topic : 09/14 More Brats

Sad really, that you could hate a child.  However, I am grateful that you probably had a 2-parent family for your son and that you didn't have a child with special needs. 

Put yourself in their shoes. No, though it is not your place to correct the child, as a citizen you could find a way to help rather than hurt the situation.  Listen to what the child is saying or you could simply help the mom by pointing them in the right direction.  Some children do not express themselves in words because they can't find the words if that have a learning disability or other developmental disorder.

If the parent could predict that the child would react like that in the store, I'm sure they wouldn't have come unless they're there to pick up some meds or other needed groceries as well. 

A pray never hurt anyone either.  Perhaps when you're in the store you might need to carry a stress ball or ear plugs.  An attitude adjustment is needed for some of the others replying to this as well.

Good Parenting is a result of good advice.  Judging people with dirty looks only makes them feel worse.  Please be kind to others like you'd like them to be to you! 

I would love to unleash my 8 year old son on you........................ without any of his meds and see if your "perfect" parenting skills work with him! Cause I think you would choke on your own words! I have used and tried every kind of discipline I can.................short of beating him and being an abusive mother. Raising a child with ADHD, and than adding Oppisitional Defiant Disorder and Bipolar on a  child, what gives you the right to judge me or any other parent when allot of us are doing the best we can. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster in my home and when a child is "manic" and not sleeping at all, their behavior goes down the toilet too! There are times when you have no choice but to take him out. Also why should I have to punish my son for disorders he never asked to have? I have 2 other children who are very well behaved at home and in public!

  Hooray for you being a perfect mother!!! Wish we could all be like you. 

 People like you make me so angry! you are unbelievable.

When my kids were little, I did not expect them to be able to always control their public behavior.  It wasn't their fault if they couldn't handle certain stresses.  We were all babies and young children once upon a time.  However, I knew better than to inflict such scenes upon others if it was possible to avoid it.  Whenever I could take them away from the public scene, I did so.  Not to punish them and I never presented it as punishment.  Matter-of-factly I would just tell them that people don't behave that way in public so we had to go. 

There are always going to be some times when you can't do anything about it.  I once boarded a plane with a cranky 18 month old and an older woman said angrily "I hope that baby isn't going to cry during the entire trip!"  I responded that I hoped so too, and then began singing Perry Como's "It's impossible," including the line " . . . ask a baby not to cry, it's just impossible."  But if I had been at a restaurant when she started crying, I would have taken her out.  Of course, I would have missed having a dinner out, but what right did I have to impose my screaming child on others when the alternative was to take responsibility upon myself and remove us both?

Anyone can understand the occasional scene.  But people routinely let their children behave in public in a way that is disturbing to others when it can be avoided.  They are teaching their kids to be selfish, insensitive, impolite and inconsiderate.

Why should you unleash your kid on anybody without his meds?  I'm sorry that your son has problems that must be difficult to handle.  But that doesn't give you the right to put him into a public situation that is beyond his ability to handle and then do nothing while his difficulties spill all over other people who are not responsible for him.  You don't have to be abusive.  Just remove him from situations he can't manage or don't put him in such situations in the first place. 

I don't judge you for having a child with behavioral problems that you can't always solve.  No one has perfect parenting skills.  But, I judge you for inflicting these sceneson other people when you could often avoid doing so.  That's your obligation.

For years I attended large outdoor summer concerts in a public, rural setting.  Hundreds of families would picnic on the lawn.  Without even realizing what I was doing, I began looking for a picnic spot that was close to the many Japanese families who would attend and to steer clear of the Americans.  When an American baby would start crying during one of Beethovan's symphonies, the people around him would just not be able to hear the music.  When a Japanese baby started crying, a parent would pick him up and go for a walk along the perimeter of the field.  I don't know how these cultural differences come about, but the contrasting attitudes were enormous.  I never heard a Japanese parent get angry or blameful towards a crying baby.  They simply removed the baby because they seemed to share a recognition that they had no right to spoil the concert for everybody else.  I learned a lot from those folks.  Maybe there's a lesson in this for you, too.

When my kids were little, I did not expect them to be able to always control their public behavior.  It wasn't their fault if they couldn't handle certain stresses.  We were all babies and young children once upon a time.  However, I knew better than to inflict such scenes upon others if it was possible to avoid it.  Whenever I could take them away from the public scene, I did so.  Not to punish them and I never presented it as punishment.  Matter-of-factly I would just tell them that people don't behave that way in public so we had to go. 

There are always going to be some times when you can't do anything about it.  I once boarded a plane with a cranky 18 month old and an older woman said angrily "I hope that baby isn't going to cry during the entire trip!"  I responded that I hoped so too, and then began singing Perry Como's "It's impossible," including the line " . . . ask a baby not to cry, it's just impossible."  But if I had been at a restaurant when she started crying, I would have taken her out.  Of course, I would have missed having a dinner out, but what right did I have to impose my screaming child on others when the alternative was to take responsibility upon myself and remove us both?

Anyone can understand the occasional scene.  But people routinely let their children behave in public in a way that is disturbing to others when it can be avoided.  They are teaching their kids to be selfish, insensitive, impolite and inconsiderate.

Why should you unleash your kid on anybody without his meds?  I'm sorry that your son has problems that must be difficult to handle.  But that doesn't give you the right to put him into a public situation that is beyond his ability to handle and then do nothing while his difficulties spill all over other people who are not responsible for him.  You don't have to be abusive.  Just remove him from situations he can't manage or don't put him in such situations in the first place. 

I don't judge you for having a child with behavioral problems that you can't always solve.  No one has perfect parenting skills.  But, I judge you for inflicting these sceneson other people when you could often avoid doing so.  That's your obligation.

For years I attended large outdoor summer concerts in a public, rural setting.  Hundreds of families would picnic on the lawn.  Without even realizing what I was doing, I began looking for a picnic spot that was close to the many Japanese families who would attend and to steer clear of the Americans.  When an American baby would start crying during one of Beethovan's symphonies, the people around him would just not be able to hear the music.  When a Japanese baby started crying, a parent would pick him up and go for a walk along the perimeter of the field.  I don't know how these cultural differences come about, but the contrasting attitudes were enormous.  I never heard a Japanese parent get angry or blameful towards a crying baby.  They simply removed the baby because they seemed to share a recognition that they had no right to spoil the concert for everybody else.  I learned a lot from those folks.  Maybe there's a lesson in this for you, too.

When my kids were little, I did not expect them to be able to always control their public behavior.  It wasn't their fault if they couldn't handle certain stresses.  We were all babies and young children once upon a time.  However, I knew better than to inflict such scenes upon others if it was possible to avoid it.  Whenever I could take them away from the public scene, I did so.  Not to punish them and I never presented it as punishment.  Matter-of-factly I would just tell them that people don't behave that way in public so we had to go. 

There are always going to be some times when you can't do anything about it.  I once boarded a plane with a cranky 18 month old and an older woman said angrily "I hope that baby isn't going to cry during the entire trip!"  I responded that I hoped so too, and then began singing Perry Como's "It's impossible," including the line " . . . ask a baby not to cry, it's just impossible."  But if I had been at a restaurant when she started crying, I would have taken her out.  Of course, I would have missed having a dinner out, but what right did I have to impose my screaming child on others when the alternative was to take responsibility upon myself and remove us both?

Anyone can understand the occasional scene.  But people routinely let their children behave in public in a way that is disturbing to others when it can be avoided.  They are teaching their kids to be selfish, insensitive, impolite and inconsiderate.

Why should you unleash your kid on anybody without his meds?  I'm sorry that your son has problems that must be difficult to handle.  But that doesn't give you the right to put him into a public situation that is beyond his ability to handle and then do nothing while his difficulties spill all over other people who are not responsible for him.  You don't have to be abusive.  Just remove him from situations he can't manage or don't put him in such situations in the first place. 

I don't judge you for having a child with behavioral problems that you can't always solve.  No one has perfect parenting skills.  But, I judge you for inflicting these sceneson other people when you could often avoid doing so.  That's your obligation.

For years I attended large outdoor summer concerts in a public, rural setting.  Hundreds of families would picnic on the lawn.  Without even realizing what I was doing, I began looking for a picnic spot that was close to the many Japanese families who would attend and to steer clear of the Americans.  When an American baby would start crying during one of Beethovan's symphonies, the people around him would just not be able to hear the music.  When a Japanese baby started crying, a parent would pick him up and go for a walk along the perimeter of the field.  I don't know how these cultural differences come about, but the contrasting attitudes were enormous.  I never heard a Japanese parent get angry or blameful towards a crying baby.  They simply removed the baby because they seemed to share a recognition that they had no right to spoil the concert for everybody else.  I learned a lot from those folks.  Maybe there's a lesson in this for you, too.

Well said! I have 4 boys ranging in ages 14 years to 18 months. They all have had their "moments" and still do at times. We deal with them by removing them whenever possible. My oldest was diagnosed (by a child psychiatrist, not psychologist) with ADHD at the age of 4. He has hearing loss as well. He has thrown some hum-dingers in his day, but I have never allowed it to occur untouched. I, also, do not identify myself as one of those parents who would & do. Illness, condition, limited abilities or not; there is no reason beyond the fear of appearing rude to not take a screaming child out of a situation such as a restaurant to allow them to settle & collect themselves. Yes; we as parents do need to delay our gratifications sometimes.

And it is absolutely the parents responsibility to respect that their child, all children, have their own limits. Yes, that does mean they will not be able to do everything. And that's okay! I witnessed this here where a parent took their child to a local park/water park. The child was obviously overwhelmed by all the children already there combined with the excitement of the water sprinklers. He began screaming about it all so the mother turned the water off & would not allow anyone else to turn it on, rather than coming at a different time or removing him. What right does she have to ruin the day for all the other children who were already there & getting along just because her child was overwhelmed by a situation she placed him in?

I absolutely judged her for that. She was rude & inconsiderate & was not doing right by her son, IMO. "Unleashing" her child on everyone like that & expecting all to stop what they were doing for her son was out-of-line & rude to not only for the park goers but for her son as well. That is a very selfish stance to take.