Topic : 09/14 More Brats

I'll be perfectly honest, I cannot stand children and I never want to have them.  HOWEVER, some people's children are perfectly well behaved and those children don't really bother me. I'll have you know that my parents were taking me to very expensive restaurants when I was 9 months old, and movie theaters by the age of 2 and people constantly approached my mother to commend what a "well behaved baby" I was. And I know a few other children that are perfectly well behaved in public too. Upbringing is the key.

 

Conversely, I know plenty of spoiled little brats that I'd take it upon myself to smack if it weren't so frowned upon (I'm sorry to say that one of them is my own Godson).  That again falls on the parents. I agree that it isn't "cute" just because they're knee-high to a snowman, and I don't believe everyone else should have to look out for people's children because they're too preoccupied to watch them theirselves, but that doesn't mean you should get pissed off at every parent and child in America. There ARE still responsible parents out there.

 

Furthermore, I'd like to point out that your comment on mental illness is completely ignorant. I've suffered from serious eating disorders and major depression for almost exactly 50% of my life (in about 2 months it'll be dead on 10 years -I'll be 20 in 1 month) and I'm sure everybody would agree that those are mental illnesses. Still, I'm a functioning member of society staying on the Dean's List at my University, working almost full-time to put myself through school, raising my younger sister on my own, financially supporting a show horse, volunteering for several Democratic campaigns, and I'm a 4-H leader. So I take it very PERSONALLY when you belittle those with mental illness. I know people who are 20+ with ADD who are perfectly normal aside from the fact that they have a little more trouble absorbing information. Mental illness isn't fun. It's not something that people aspire to. And it's beyond an individual's control. You really shouldn't speak about topics you know nothing about. Appearantly people don't posess a lot of social graces in perfect Atlanta now, do they?

It is not the children who behave that I have an issue with; it is the ones who do not behave and the parents who refuse to do anything about it, such as your godson. If the children are being disruptive, you need to discipline or remove them. The manager of a store or restaurant does not care whether your child has a mental illness--they have a business to run! The needs of everyone else outweigh those of one child. The point of the show was not "Children with mental illness who misbehave." Both children were normal.

 

As far as predicting trouble with the law, the shooters in the Columbine massacre actually exhibited signs early on, not to mention being raised by the daycare. Their parents were completely uninvolved in their lives, and were not even aware of the boys playing with guns in the garage.

 

Several posters have mentioned older children having outbursts. At some point, shouldn't they be old enough to know better than to have a tantrum at 15?! How are they going to function in normal situations? I mean, the rest of us have a right not to be exposed to this at restaurants, the theater, etc. I'm not paying to deal with a child who should be left at home.

 

 All any mother can do is the best that it is possible to do at the time. I've worked for most of the time I've been a Mum and our 2 girls are great. Possibly if I stayed at home and devoted all my time and energies to them they would be brain surgeons or nuclear physicists. Instead they have are are studting for degrees (not Brain Surgery or Nuclear Phtsics!) and are well rounded, confident young people  who have friends, social lives and  jobs that will help them in their search for their career. There have been some problems along the way but they have always known that Mum & Dad are there for them if they need them (a soft place to fall).
I have worked most of my adult life and my job is OK but if I hadn't had a family I would be further up the career ladder than I currently am. Do I regret that for a fraction of a second, absoloutly not. Have I got the balance right? Well I look around my house to-day which has ironing piled high and a washing basket overspilling, along with boxes of 'stuff' which need sorting through before my daughter goes back to University and the answer has to be  not exactly (!). You just do the best you can. I don't have it all, but I have almost all that is important to me. I can see how you would look forward to going back to work, and I commend you for that. Perhaps the time away will help you and your family, and the extra money is very welcome!
Best of luck with it all.
PS Reading through this you can see what my priorities are, if i was so worried about the state of the house I wouldn't be on the computer! Perhaps the brat in the family is me!!!!

 This week in The UK a celebrity (who is probably not known outside Great Britain) is doing a documentary about his life and Bipolar. Through reading messages on the Dr Phil message board I have learnt a lot about this subject. It's something I don't think I am aware of anyone suffering from, but actually who knows? I am aware of some people with (to my mind) odd behaviour, which as they are adults is just accepted as part of their character. This chap Stephen Fry is a very amusing erudite chap and for him to admit this and do a documentary on how it has affected him is rather brave, as he seems a 'normal' chap although a bit of a snob.
I hadn't heard of 'mission mode' before I read your message and having had demanding children  (who hasn't?) I can see this is something that must be terribly hard to deal with, as we all hear what we think are brats demanding things, and to distinguish between normal behaviour and a bipolar trait is for the general public impossible. I used to do all sorts of tricks to get my kids to stop asking for things. Such as saying we'll see tomorrow or that's the sort of thing to ask Father Christmas for. When they were older I said we couldn't afford it and they would have to find a job and save up. That used to work eventually but was quite exhausting, so for it to go on & on, well it seems so cruel to the child and the parent.
I can't begin to imagine how you manage to cope if you suffer from this illness as well. But then  you sound to  be a very pragmatic individual who faces challenges and knows  to get expert help and advice.

If there is anything that the Message Board might find helpful (or amusing ) in the programme I'll let you know.

Quote "Parents have no right to impose their shrieking children on others and a disability is no excuse. Your kids are still an embarassment to society and need discipline. How else are they going to function in the real world if they are still acting up with the so-called ADD excuse at 20?!"

 

Are you serious?

Does anyone in your family have any type of illness? Cancer, Diabetes, alleriges? Anything?  If so next time you see them, ask yourself what you would say if someone told you not to bring them to a public place because it is an embarrassment to the rest of us.

 

I have a cousin who lives in Savannah, he has a siezure disorder, which presents itself in the form of seizures, mood swings, rages, etc.  So don't tell me that Atlanta is so classy people like that don't live there. My cousin has smashed the windows out of his mothers living room, during a seizure. Do you think people who have a mental illness want it or even ask for it?? 

 

 Just  because God graced your parents with such a "PERFECT" child as yourself doesn't mean the rest of us should suffer from your ignorance and stupidity. Please don't step foot in my down to Earth, very Real town in Michigan, I wouldn't want to be embarrassed by your presence.

Being the mom of a child with mental illnes, knowing how much it can upset and frustrate me and the others who love him, i can't imagine what it does to him himself. so no matter what it does to those around this person suffering, people must think about what it does to the person suffering from it and the secret hell they have to go through every single day.

 

   good luck  to you.

 I have a soon to be 16 year old who still have rages, or trantums as you would prefer to call them.  She doesn't have a rage on purpose. Half the time she doesn't even remember having them.  That is because of the neurotransmitters in the BRAIN.  You should really research before you spew the crap you are.

 

My 15 year old cries in my lap at night and begs me not to be mad at her because she doens't want to be the way she is. 

 

And as far as the manager not caring if the child has a mental illness... that could run a person of that posistion into alot of DISCRIMINATION problems.  

 

BTW, your daycare theory doesn;t hold water with me. I am a stay at home mom of 2 children. my 15 year old who has bipolar, and a 4 year old, who is so called "normal" she does not misbehave in public. You would not even know she was there because she is so well behaved and never asks for anything without please thank you.. sir and ma'am.. We are yankees but both my kids were raised to use their manners.  My 15 year old is still bipolar, no amount of disipline will ever change that. I will not punish my child for  an act that is a result of her illness. It is not her fault.  I do disipline her for actions that are related to not listening, not using manners, etc..  

 

You are soo lucky to not have to deal with this.

You are so lucky to have children who listen to every word you say and who have never misbehaved once.

Next time you put us down be sure to thank God for your perfect "classy" life.

 

 

 

speaking of which, my parents both worked 2 jobs while raising my brother and I. And we turned out pretty good, my parents have never had to deal with the police because of one of us. We were not thieves and stelaing things, we both went on to get an education after high school. my brother is a very very successful in his field of expertice. he and his wife no very very well.

 

  my partner and i do well also. i though put my career on hold to raise my children and DO PLAN on going back to it. i miss having human interaction everyday that doesn't include the kids. I love my kids allot, would do anything for them, but I need to find "me" again.

 

  so in the end, you can have it all and good kids too. my kids have actually asked me tog oback to work as I was happier and did not suffer from as severe of depression as I do now. hmmm, go figure.

 

  I have never ever been away from my 3 year old dor any length of time and it will be just as hard on me to leave him as it is him to leave me, But we will adjust and well a happy mom makes for happy children. 

Yes it is hard to deal with the general public more than my child. Depending on her mood sometimes a simple no will work, sometimes she complains and begs, I ignore her. If it continues I usually end up leaving just to NOT push my childs behavior on anyone else. Soemtimes I feel shunned. Sometimes I have things to do and I simply have to get them done.

 

I am going to research Stephen Fry and see if I can catch it on the BBC.. hopefully I can, if thats what it is airing on.  Thank you for understanding