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Topic : Balancing Marriage and Family

Number of Replies: 1244
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:00:43 pm
Author : dataimport
Adding a family means big changes in a marriage. Tell us how you've succeeded or struggled to manage both.

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April 12, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

Balancing Marriage and Family

Quote From: tina1984

Okay Ive recently gotten married. I have a child from a previous marriage. Which my husband now knew from the start. My husband can't stand the fact that I get along with my ex. Which I do for my child. I have in my childs room pictures of his dad and myself with our child. I have them there for my child. My husband tells me that I'm unfair and inconsiderate. I need some opinions on this matter. I feel there is nothing wrong with what I'm doing.

I think it great that you get along with your ex for the sake of your child, not many parents can agree after a divorce. Your child should feel comfortable with both you and your ex and know that he/she can go to either one and not feel gulity. I see nothing wrong with you having pictures of your childs dad in his/her room. Your child has the right to have them. I'm not sure if I understood you right but are the pictures of you, your ex and child together in the same picture? If they are "family" pictures you should remove them to adapt to your new life. You are no longer the "happy" family when the pictures were taken. The pictures you should replace them with should be seperate pictures of only your child and dad together, of only you and your child and maybe even a new picture of your new husband, you and your child together, but remove the pictures of you, your ex and child togehter. Your child has the right to have the family pictures but those pictures should be put into an album so that he/she could look at whenever he/she wanted but not put on display. Your new husband knows that you had a life before him and I can understand that he feels that it's unfair and inconsiderate of you to have pictures in your childs room of your ex together with you and your child, it's a reminder of the life you had together with another man. Both you and your ex lead seperate lives now and it should be kept that way, pictures on the walls in your childs room of the way you and your ex used to be should be seperate and not put on display, those pictures belong in an album.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
July 20, 2009, 4:42 pm CDT

My Husband's Friend Monopolizes His Time

Hi I’m new to this, but I wanted an impartial audience so I will give you a little background before I start.  My husband (40) and I (48) met 7 and a half years ago.  We married last year.  He has no children.  I have two grown sons, one of whom lives with us when he’s not attending college (i.e., summers, holidays).  That, in and of itself tends to be a problem, but not the one I’m addressing today.  We live in a rural area where it snows a lot in the winter so we cram a lot of outdoor activities in our short summers.  We have a mutual friend, who I will call Mark.  I introduced my husband to Mark and they have become best friends over the course of the last 5 years or so.  Mark was best man at our wedding.  Mark is 41, never has been married, and is extremely competitive.  We have an inner circle of friends, most of whom are married couples, except for Mark and a couple of other guys who are all three single.  We participate in a lot of tournaments:  golf, softball, volleyball, horseshoes, etc.  Here is where the problem arises.  As soon as Mark hears about a tournament, he automatically assumes my husband will be his partner and my husband will not say no (for fear of looking like he’s whipped?).  In paired sports, such as golf or horseshoes, Mark always chooses my husband to be his partner and I have to find someone else to be mine.  Every 4th of July we attend an annual horseshoe tournament and my husband is automatically assumed to be Mark’s partner, as he has every year.  A few months back a golf tournament was planned for this past weekend.  Mark asked my husband to be on his “team” with 2 other single guys.  I had to find other friends to golf with at the tournament.  During this tournament my husband was asked to play another tournament this coming weekend.  He said yes.  I’m not even invited to play at that tournament.  I’m sick of Mark assuming my husband will be his partner and I’m sick of my husband always saying yes.  My husband fails to realize that he and I are life partners.  I keep telling Mark to get his “own husband”.  He has never been in a relationship.  He has no respect for women.  He even told me once that I had “no business” wanting to be my husband’s partner in these competitions.  Now my husband and I are fighting because he says he never gets to do stuff with his friends.  Are you kidding me?  He does everything with Todd.  Where does that leave me?  How do I explain to my husband that Todd is not his “partner”, I am?  Maybe he should have married Todd!  (No, they’re not gay, but still……)  Does anyone have any advice?  Thanks in advance.

 
August 26, 2009, 2:32 pm CDT

Balancing Marriage and Family

Quote From: keutermark

MY MOTHERINLAW BUTS INTO MY MARRIAGE EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS MY HUSBAND LETS HER GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID THAT SHE WILL ASK US TO LEAVE THE HOUSE SHE OWNS IF HE CONFRONTS HER ABOUT IT I WOULD REALLY LIKE  HER TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS IT IS TEARING US APART AND I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

You must confront her and let the chips fall as they may!  You deserve some peace in this world! 

Your husband needs to man up and take care of this situation.  Being a coward will help no one.

Draw the line and see what your mother-in-law does.  She'll fall in line because she knows if she kicks you out of her home she will never see your husband again.  And that's that.  Good luck!

 
August 31, 2009, 12:35 pm CDT

balancing marriage and family

sometimes starting a family can take away that "marriage" feeling completely. When you're married with no kids you can concentrate on your partner. With kids you have to somehow find a balance or else you will grow apart.

 

 

mma fanatic

 

http://www.hawaiiufc.com

 
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