Topic : Balancing Marriage and Family

Quote From: dillybar34

I have definitely been where you are at, I have 4 kids, and a husband who didn't really understand what it was like to take care of kids.  He didn't understand, that sometimes even going up to the grocery store without anyone else could feel like heaven.  Every now and then I have to sit him down and say, look, I need some space, you have to pick up the slack, have it out with him, then he is good to go for a couple months.  Unfortunately, alot of men don't think like women do, they don't have the natural insticts that we have when things have to get done.  Or especially where kids are concerned.  Sit down with him, or if you can't without getting in a all out fight, I use to sit down by myself after the kids were in bed and write him a letter, then I could get everything I needed out, without him interuppting me.  My husband has a stressful job, he leaves at 5am every morning and returns home a 6pm, he works 7 days a week most of the time.  He now understands, that no matter how hard he works, I have the most important job in the world, and that is raising out kids, and he knows there is no way he could do this without me.  So,. now I remind him, and I get the help, and the time I need to recoup.  Recently, I went back to work, I gave up a 14 year career for the kids, so after 8 long years of being a SAHM - i returned, not to the same high stress job, but a job, and what a difference that has made, my kids have had to learn to become more independent, and my husband has really stepped up, even they don't like it, it has made me a much happier person.  Now I get some adult time talking to other adults.

Quote From: jsmichigan

I need anyone's opinion. My husband and I have been fighting since the birth of our second daughter in 1/2006. My husband has turned into such an angry person. He yells at our girls (3 years and 7 months) for anything he doesn't like. He was even yelling at the baby when she was 3 months because she didn't drink "right" from her bottle. (she used to dribble the formula out but is better now).  He is constantly swearing in front of the kids. He is constantly saying this life sucks, I hate my life, if I knew kids were like this I wouldn't have had any, he calls me every name in the book...in front of my older daughter. He openly says he regrets having a second baby. He has lashed out in ways that make me fearful to leave the kids with him alone. Last night the pot boiled over. In the car he was just beating me down about not having sex with him (he's been so horrible I don't even want to kiss him lately), he accused me of being gay (which I'm not), he accused me of having an affair (I'm not), he says if I don't start putting out he will find someone else to please him! I just feel beat down. I do love him but he has gone off the deep end. He says I am not the woman he married. I'm not, we've been married 7 years and had 2 kids. I have grown up a bit. He's turning into a child. I just need advice from anyone out there. I am just upset beyond belief that he would say he is going to find another woman if I won't put out. He is threating divorce and I can't handle that option. I can't even dream of not being a family. I love him and want him to cut to the chase and tell me what is really bothering him! He always beats around the bush. I want to fix the problem and go back to the happy days before our second beautiful little girl. Any advice would be really helpful.

Thanks.

Quote From: rebeccatol

 My husband and I will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary next weekend. We have 3 kids, (2 are mine from a previous marriage). I am a stay at home mom and can't remember a tiime I wasn't taking care of the kids. My husband works 8-5 monday to friday.  The problem is he gets to go out and do things he considers fun. Saturday he is going with some friends to a shooting range for about 5 hours, while I get to stay home with the kids. I asked him in the 2 years we have been married how many times have I gotten to go out and do something for me. The answer to that is once, and I was pregnant with my son at the time.  I just don't know how to handle it when he leaves. I am mean to him and say things like "don't text my phone and tell me that you are having fun or how cool something is because I have no intrest in it". I  know it hurts him and I don't mean to hurt him. I don't have any friends here, we just moved in a month ago, and the one true friend I thought I had before we moved turned out to not be a friend at all. I just want to know if any one else has the same problems that I am having with being able to just let your husband go out for a boys day and not feel jealous or angry. How do I handle this?

Quote From: mikmich

Check out  "MOMS" club. I wish I had the address but I'm not sure where it is right now. There are groups all over the country. There is probably one in your area. I have met so many nice people through the club. As a stay at home mom you can be so isolated. This will help. Good luck.

Quote From: mikmich

Check out  "MOMS" club. I wish I had the address but I'm not sure where it is right now. There are groups all over the country. There is probably one in your area. I have met so many nice people through the club. As a stay at home mom you can be so isolated. This will help. Good luck.

Quote From: wee_rosie

my husband is a wonderful father but he is a thoughtless, selfish partner. we've talked about our relationship from day one. i didn't so much fall for him as develop stockholm syndrome!
what do i do, break up a happy family enviroment  seperating  children from a father they love and trust because  he makes me unhappy?
i keep most of this to myself so  no-one  really knows, except you now.

Quote From: wee_rosie

my husband is a wonderful father but he is a thoughtless, selfish partner. we've talked about our relationship from day one. i didn't so much fall for him as develop stockholm syndrome!
what do i do, break up a happy family enviroment  seperating  children from a father they love and trust because  he makes me unhappy?
i keep most of this to myself so  no-one  really knows, except you now.

Quote From: wee_rosie

my husband is a wonderful father but he is a thoughtless, selfish partner. we've talked about our relationship from day one. i didn't so much fall for him as develop stockholm syndrome!
what do i do, break up a happy family enviroment  seperating  children from a father they love and trust because  he makes me unhappy?
i keep most of this to myself so  no-one  really knows, except you now.