Topic : Cheated On

Oh yes, most of my garbage I carry today is from my childhood for sure. I am over it though as I chose to never go back. My husband has definately paid for what others had done to me. It is almost like I was testing my husband to see how much he loved me. There is no such thing as unconditional love between a man and woman. Stupid me should have never married and should be banned from ever doing it again.:) He did not deserve what I did to him.

Today there is nothing and tomorrow isn't here yet. I lost the father of my children. They have now become the victims of my actions. I don't think I should find good things about me when I am responsible for the destruction of my family.

Cheating destroys.

I recently found out my hasband on eight had start contact a woman on online, several year he was sending this same woman nasty email, now he have upgrade to sending her im. He keep telling me we are friend and I am only playing, but it dont feeling like playing to me.Now he telling me he no longer can make happy becuase he not happy with his self. I am so tired od playing game with him. I am tired of walking around being an open wpound of hurt and pain. I have start seeking a lawyer to end this so called marriage. I known that I have to careful when doin this, I also have to think of my girls. I am tired of being hurt and treat badly by this man.

I admire that you want to work this out, many have and it has led to a stronger bond than before. It's too early to tell in your case though. Both partners have to be willing to go the distance, have to be willing to admit that there are reasons on both sides for this outcome, and admit that the love you have for each other is what is driving you to make it right. If there's no motivation to do the hard work on the part of one or the other, it can be a waste of time.

Counseling can save you years of dealing with your issues on a trial and error basis. If your husband balks and says he doesn't need it, this may be an indication that you are wasting your time. Or if he says you can't afford it, then he lets a little thing like money hold up his whole future happiness. You and his marriage should be pretty high on his list of priorities if this is going to work out.

Dr Phil says you should work your way out of a marriage. When you can honestly say that YOU did everything you can and left no stone unturned in finding answers and help, then you can leave the marriage with no "what if's?" and no regrets.

Best of luck to you, I know it's a tough road.

It sounds like this has been going on for a long time, and that your husband thinks you will continue to believe his lies.

Don't be surprised if he becomes a better husband when you tell him that you are going to divorce him. Most husband's find a conscience when their wives decide to dump them. Be careful how you interpret his newfound attentions. If he talks you into staying with him by saying he wants to be the husband and father he should have been all along, see if he will get some counseling with you. Also, make some rules that he has to comply with, such as closing any internet accounts he has where he talks to other women, changing his email address and giving you all passwords so you can read everything he writes. He must be completely open and honest with you.

But if you are truly weary of him and have been wounded too much, by all means divorce him and move on.  Just be on your guard for increased "niceness" from him and don't let it sway your decision.

Hi, I have been living with my partner for over 7 years and we have 2 boys together, aged 4 & 2 and a few weeks ago he admitted to me he had an affair and the woman is pregnant, probably with his baby.  She also is married and is lying to her husband,  he thinks the baby is his......which is obviously fine with me.  He says he is sorry but I don't feel it, you know no flowers,chocolates, saying sorry over and over, he just packed a bag and said we need time a part to think.

He now says he confused, can;t believe he has done this, does know if he can trust himself????? What the hell does that mean, I am better off without him.  Which I might well be.  Say he loves me but not "in" love with me.  I HATE THAT SAYING.

Now i have the kids most of the time, he has no responsibilites and come over when is basically suit him, which is PISSING me off.  I don;t know what to so, we had our first counselling session last week, but I just think it;s his way of me just waking up to the fact he does what me or our family anymore,]

Face it, with 7 years together and 2 children between you, you are married.

Your husband is saying he can't trust himself because that IS his truth. Fidelity is not high on his personal list of rules not-to-be-broken, and at the moment, he is only sorry that the other woman got pregnant. (You'd think with 2 already he would have figured out what causes that.)

The big question for you is, will you ever be able to forgive and trust him? The fact that he never made it a point to marry the mother of his children kind of says that he continues to live in a fantasy land of non-commitment.

You know, you can still be eligible for child support even though you never got the marriage license.

I think you need to make the best out of the bad situation you are in and take control.  Keep up the counseling as long as possible, your relationship may not be over.

But stop letting him call all of the shots, this is what led to the mess you now find yourself.