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Topic : Cheated On
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October 18, 2006, 3:08 am PDT
 Quote From: bedazzled Hi there, Seeing as my sister does not have access to the internet, I am posting this message for her, here is her story...
Hi, I am a mother of 2 girls aged 11 and 7. I was married for 14 years, together for 18, and now my life has taken a new twist!
I suspected my husband, about a year ago, that something not quite right was going on in his life. He started dressing different, different hairstyle, really grooming himself, kept spare clothes in his car and would ALWAYS tell me he was working back late!
I had him followed one night, he went riding on his Harley Davidson for a few hours, he came back, rang me from his work phone so that number would show up on my phone, and said he was working all night! When I called him on it, he just got very agro and stormed off and told me "Don't be so stupid!"
The late nights continued, it would be 1am, 2am, 3am and one night he went to the tennis, he never got back until 4.30am!!! When I asked him if he was having an affair, he would always reply " Don't be so silly, I don't have time for one!"
We went on a pre-paid ( by his boss ) holiday to America, and Hawaii, he was cold and distant the whole time, practically living on his mobile phone! He would sneak off at night to the motel internet cafe, and I wouldn't see him for hours. As you can imagine, I was texting all my friends, saying what a horrible holiday I was having, who is this person I am here with!!??
The day after we got back, we had a 60th birthday to attend, the kids and I were jet lagged and wanted to go early but he refused to leave, he was getting drunk ( he always drinks approx 6-12 stubbies a night ) so the girls and I left.
When we got home, we found his work mobile on the kitchen bench, this is something he would never just leave around! There was a message on there that he had read earlier, and forgot to delete! It said " Hi Babe, just thought you'd like to know, Im laying here in my white bikini, wish you were here relaxing with me!" I rang this number, and the girl on the other end just kept saying THATS IRRELEVANT to all of my questions! My suspisions were confirmed! I was in such a state, I screamed down the phone at her and hung up!
He didn't come home till the next morning, I said "We need to talk, in the room, away from the children!" I asked him was he seeing someone else? He replied, YES, I am seeing someone BUT I never slept with her! That is a statement that I never believed! I told him to pack his things and go and sort himself out!
That was March the 27th, and now, it is October 18th and he is more involved with this girl now than ever, he just got back from a holiday with her, he never shouted me on a holiday once in the 14yrs of our marriage!
When and IF he ever sees the children, he takes them for a total of 1 hour, then returns them home! He doesn't make plans to see them again, I would say that he has only seen them a total of 6 BRIEF times since he left in March!
Never did I see myself in this situation, it has really shaken my world, I was a confident person before this anyway, I always handled all the money, bills etc.. I always took care of the house, indoor and out! So in actual fact, we are only missing a body, as when he was here, he was always drunk, on the phone to his mates and on the internet!
I am now taking anti-depressants, which is helping me get through this crisis at present, and the girls and I have attended counselling. The counsellor has met my husband, he attended with our eldest daughter, but even she said he is a lost cause, she said there is no reaching him!
He won't tell me anything about this affair, how long its been going on, how old is she, where she lives, where she works, I know NOTHING! His family have not contacted me since this has happened, but there is no love lost there, they are a nasty bunch of people anyway!
Everybody who knew him, cannot believe that he would EVER do anything like this in his life, it is very out of character for him! It is like the person I thought I knew, turned out to be A HUGE DISSAPOINTMENT!
Any advice muchly appreciated : ) I am very sorry that you and the kids are goinf through this. I commend you for getting all of you into counseling to help deal with the effects of his affair. With that said, not only are you dealing with a husband who has abandoned his family but you are dealing with an alcoholic as well.
There has to be a point in time where you need to contact an attorney and file papers for a divorce. He has been with this woman for over a year and a half, emotionally and/or physically. He has moved on, now it is your turn. It really doesn't matter who she is or where she lives or works (you can always hire a P.I. and find out) but that's irrelevant at this point. You need to stay strong and leave this marriage legally so that you can move forward with your life. Should he ever come back, you would never be able to trust or respect him again. His drinking is a whole different issue but that is his problem as well. You are a role model to your children, they need to know that this is not how all marriages are, and that people can move on and be happy after a divorce. His lack of respect for you and his children is heartbreaking, how does a man abandon his kids? Please keep them in therapy as this will effect them their entire lives but at least they know that they have a mother who will help them and stand by their sides every step of the way for emotional support. Call an attorney and start the process, file for child support as well. Good luck to you, remember you are stronger than you think and deserve so much better. |
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October 18, 2006, 8:28 am PDT
I am suffering. Everyday of my life seems to get harder and harder. My husband of 14 years cheated on me with several women. He is a policeman and very controlling. Hates my family, hates my friends, hates people in general. Fights with me daily about the silliest things. He calls me names that I would never say, but I am so hurt my this. I have two beautiful kids that I am worried sick for. They do not deserve this disfunction. They hear him call me names make fun of my family. He pushes me to have sex with him like I am some whore. I loved our sex life at one time, but it got do obsessive and hurtful to me. I had to do something about it. After huge arguments (about silly things) blaming me for everything, he would expect sex after all the bad things said, and of course no apology. He started seing women on the job, having sex in the back seat, motel rooms and where ever he could get it. I was shame faced after this all went public, with the family and oh, the newspapers (Just think of where he got caught). Everyone is so devistated for me, I feel so embarrased about what he did to me and my family. |
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October 18, 2006, 4:05 pm PDT
Quote From: emmie16 I am suffering. Everyday of my life seems to get harder and harder. My husband of 14 years cheated on me with several women. He is a policeman and very controlling. Hates my family, hates my friends, hates people in general. Fights with me daily about the silliest things. He calls me names that I would never say, but I am so hurt my this. I have two beautiful kids that I am worried sick for. They do not deserve this disfunction. They hear him call me names make fun of my family. He pushes me to have sex with him like I am some whore. I loved our sex life at one time, but it got do obsessive and hurtful to me. I had to do something about it. After huge arguments (about silly things) blaming me for everything, he would expect sex after all the bad things said, and of course no apology. He started seing women on the job, having sex in the back seat, motel rooms and where ever he could get it. I was shame faced after this all went public, with the family and oh, the newspapers (Just think of where he got caught). Everyone is so devistated for me, I feel so embarrased about what he did to me and my family. I can’t imagine how badly this must be hurting you. I hope that you have a support system- family, friends- who can give you the emotional support that you need and deserve right now. Where is your husband now? Are you considering staying together, or are you done with this chaos? The reason he hates your family and friends is because he has the need to isolate you from them; that way he will have you all to himself to control and manipulate without any interference. You and your children need and deserve to experience true, real happiness. Dr. Phil says this a lot: Children would rather come from a broken home than live in one. It’s the truth! You are the strongest female role model that your children have, you can’t allow for them to believe your marriage is ‘normal’ because they will grow up and seek out partners to repeat this abusive cycle. Be good to yourself and protect yourself. I wish you the best. |
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October 19, 2006, 7:00 pm PDT
MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED PLENTY OF TIMES, YET WE SEPARATE AND MONTHS LATER START OVER , SO DOES HE ASK ME TO TAKE A LIE DETECTOE TEST OR OUR MARRIAGE WONT WORK?
I have been married for five years and we have been together a total of 10 years. We have two kids; a boy and our youngest is a girl. We have had our share of bad times. His biggest problem is his possesvie ways, jealousy, and his cheating. He has slept with two of my so called friends, and others. We stopped sleeping in the same room for about five months, but we still had sex from time to time. I remember him getting off work and coming home to take a shower then leave to the gym for at least 2-3 hours. We never talked or got in the same vehicle together. I finally got the curage to leave, but I was hoping that he would basically kiss my ass so that I would stay. His idea of the seperation was going to be a good way to find out what he wanted, and made him happy. He also needed to change his atitude toward me and change the unstable comfort zone behavior as a husband. So, he basically left me, even though I moved out on my own. My life have became empty, and I was really alone with no job, no money, no house, and no friends or family since he either scared them off or skrewed them. I moved out a week before our Anniversery which is the day of his Birthday too. My sister in law said my husband dropped off our kids because he was going out of town with a girl. So, I went to get my kids back, but first I stopped at our old house to get my kids clothes. I found a bra in my dresser next to my side of the bed, and a couple of "thinking about you" cards from "HILDA". Let me say that I turned that place inside out and burned every piece of clothing he owned. A few months pasted by and I was doing very good. I had my old job back and I was sane again. Happy to meet new friends and go out. My husband and I would argue, but only because he did not give me money for the kids day care, or food, and not even for their school clothes. He would pick them up with hicky's on his neck, but I got use to it. The three months have passed and he calls to leave a message to say that his friend had died, so he wants to be there for them, therefore he was unable to get the kids that weekend. So, I did not hear from him for almost a week and I called his job and talked to his friend. His friend told me about "HILDA" and that was whose funeral he went to. It turned out that her kids father shot her serveral times in the face and then turned it on him self. Well it has been about 8 months since then and he has kissed his way back in my life again. One catch, he wants me to take a lie detector test to see if I slepted with anyone during our seperation. Since he found my calender with guy's phone numbers on the back, he has called all of them and does not believe me. He said he can not live knowing that I have slept with any one else. Since I met him I have never slepted with anyone. I have came close, but I need help with my decision and I have little time left to do so. Oh, also I will tell you that I had to take a drug test before we got married too. It was naturaly negative. At that time he was going to a drug program. So, see I think it is all in his head and I am paying double for his mistakes if I give him what he wants. I also feel like I should just take it to prove to him once again, and then walk away from him. What should I do? I either lose my husband or my beliefs and dignity and pride and self respect.
I am 27 years old. HELP WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS OR YOUR OWN OPINION. PLEASE!!
Margaret Perez
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October 20, 2006, 2:35 am PDT
Quote From: margaret95351 MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED PLENTY OF TIMES, YET WE SEPARATE AND MONTHS LATER START OVER , SO DOES HE ASK ME TO TAKE A LIE DETECTOE TEST OR OUR MARRIAGE WONT WORK? I have been married for five years and we have been together a total of 10 years. We have two kids; a boy and our youngest is a girl. We have had our share of bad times. His biggest problem is his possesvie ways, jealousy, and his cheating. He has slept with two of my so called friends, and others. We stopped sleeping in the same room for about five months, but we still had sex from time to time. I remember him getting off work and coming home to take a shower then leave to the gym for at least 2-3 hours. We never talked or got in the same vehicle together. I finally got the curage to leave, but I was hoping that he would basically kiss my ass so that I would stay. His idea of the seperation was going to be a good way to find out what he wanted, and made him happy. He also needed to change his atitude toward me and change the unstable comfort zone behavior as a husband. So, he basically left me, even though I moved out on my own. My life have became empty, and I was really alone with no job, no money, no house, and no friends or family since he either scared them off or skrewed them. I moved out a week before our Anniversery which is the day of his Birthday too. My sister in law said my husband dropped off our kids because he was going out of town with a girl. So, I went to get my kids back, but first I stopped at our old house to get my kids clothes. I found a bra in my dresser next to my side of the bed, and a couple of "thinking about you" cards from "HILDA". Let me say that I turned that place inside out and burned every piece of clothing he owned. A few months pasted by and I was doing very good. I had my old job back and I was sane again. Happy to meet new friends and go out. My husband and I would argue, but only because he did not give me money for the kids day care, or food, and not even for their school clothes. He would pick them up with hicky's on his neck, but I got use to it. The three months have passed and he calls to leave a message to say that his friend had died, so he wants to be there for them, therefore he was unable to get the kids that weekend. So, I did not hear from him for almost a week and I called his job and talked to his friend. His friend told me about "HILDA" and that was whose funeral he went to. It turned out that her kids father shot her serveral times in the face and then turned it on him self. Well it has been about 8 months since then and he has kissed his way back in my life again. One catch, he wants me to take a lie detector test to see if I slepted with anyone during our seperation. Since he found my calender with guy's phone numbers on the back, he has called all of them and does not believe me. He said he can not live knowing that I have slept with any one else. Since I met him I have never slepted with anyone. I have came close, but I need help with my decision and I have little time left to do so. Oh, also I will tell you that I had to take a drug test before we got married too. It was naturaly negative. At that time he was going to a drug program. So, see I think it is all in his head and I am paying double for his mistakes if I give him what he wants. I also feel like I should just take it to prove to him once again, and then walk away from him. What should I do? I either lose my husband or my beliefs and dignity and pride and self respect.
I am 27 years old. HELP WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS OR YOUR OWN OPINION. PLEASE!!
Margaret Perez
Hi Margaret,
Your husband is the one who cheats on you and he wants you to take a lie detector test??? He wants you to take a drug test and he is the one doing the drugs? What am I missing here???? You've got a guy here who sleeps around, has a history of drug abuse, and does not give you money to support his kids. I wouldn't exactly call him father or husband of the year! And why do you want him back????? Do you think he will change? Because he is a stand up kinda guy that treats you and your family with dignity and respect? You have to know that you deserve much better than this. You've been with him since you were a teenager, obviously poor judgement on your part at a young age! I would file for divorce and child support payments and call it a day. You do not owe him anything. You were doing well after this separation and now he wants to come back into your life demanding that you need to take this test - is he mentally ill??? The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior. He has given you no reason to trust him, why do you even consider his ultimatium??? See an attorney and move on with your life. If you want to take the test just for kicks, have your attorney staple them to the final divorce papers and make sure he pays the bill for the test.!!! |
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October 21, 2006, 12:27 pm PDT
well i have been married for 9 years to what i thought was a wonderful man...we had our share of problems usually money but i thought who doesn't. Last may we were sitting in our living room and the kids were in bed and he just says i'm leaving and he did. We have 4 kids so we kept some contact...in August we started "dating" he said he didn't want to come home until he knew he could support us and i was ok with that. Then he said he got a call from a oil company to go for training in alberta to work on the rigs and he will be making all this money and our lives are gonna be so much better. I was like that is great he worked long enough to buy a car and insure it and borrowed $200 from my mom to get there. He says he blew a tire and was late for his first day and they were not happy but he made it...I get the cell phone bill and see that he never made it to where he was supposed to be and that he had been in contact with our old babysitter, something I had said when we got back together was a deal breaker. I confronted him with this and he said that while we were seperated and she had come to B.C. they had gotten drunk and had sex and now she was saying she was pregnant so he had to deal with that. He told me she wasn't pregnant and he didn't want anything to do with her he only wanted to be with me and our kids. None of this felt right. My gut told me there was more to it especially when i called her cell and her number was changed so I broke into his email...yeah there was pictures and emails from a couple years back of her and him having sex in my bed, in my moms house while she was away, and numourus other pictures. I was devastated. Now about the sitter, she started babysitting for us when she was 14 years old. When she was 16 she got kicked out of her house (well thats what i was told) and she wanted to move out of province with us. I talked my husband into letting her come with us. Little did I know it was his idea for her to come to me. So now he had his wife and mistress in the same house. Good deal for him I guess. He must of told her that I broke into his email because she emailed a picture to him and i had her new phone number, with the area code for where he was supposed to be. so I started texting her. I asked her when this started and she said like 2 days after they met she was 14 and he was 24. Now when we moved to B.C. and she moved out he would always run to her rescue and i repeatly asked him if he was having sex with her (not in those words of course) He always said she is like one of our kids and I feel like we need to help her. MY thought on this now is if that is what you do to someone who is like one of our kids what are you gonna do to our girls when they get older? I have also found emails that talk about how his cousin who was 13 at the time watched as the sitter gave him head and how he thought his cousin had such a smoking hot body. It makes me nausous just thinking about it. So through these emails I found out all this and the fact that he wasn't going to work on the rigs but was planning on starting a new life with her while having me here. I'm furious that he came back and disrupted our lives again if he was planning on starting a life with her why not just leave me alone. We were healing from him leaving the first time and now we are starting from square one again. Oh yeah and now i'm dealing with the fact that I probably have a std because he is not the only one she has slept with. Man this is so something for Jerry Springer. Well at least I have my kids and the knowledge that he doesn't have the balls to show his face around here again and there is no way I am sending my kids out of province to see him, he hasn't even had the balls to call and talk to the kids. Is it wrong for me not to want to let my kids alone with this obviously sick man? |
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October 21, 2006, 3:58 pm PDT
Quote From: tinysgrrl well i have been married for 9 years to what i thought was a wonderful man...we had our share of problems usually money but i thought who doesn't. Last may we were sitting in our living room and the kids were in bed and he just says i'm leaving and he did. We have 4 kids so we kept some contact...in August we started "dating" he said he didn't want to come home until he knew he could support us and i was ok with that. Then he said he got a call from a oil company to go for training in alberta to work on the rigs and he will be making all this money and our lives are gonna be so much better. I was like that is great he worked long enough to buy a car and insure it and borrowed $200 from my mom to get there. He says he blew a tire and was late for his first day and they were not happy but he made it...I get the cell phone bill and see that he never made it to where he was supposed to be and that he had been in contact with our old babysitter, something I had said when we got back together was a deal breaker. I confronted him with this and he said that while we were seperated and she had come to B.C. they had gotten drunk and had sex and now she was saying she was pregnant so he had to deal with that. He told me she wasn't pregnant and he didn't want anything to do with her he only wanted to be with me and our kids. None of this felt right. My gut told me there was more to it especially when i called her cell and her number was changed so I broke into his email...yeah there was pictures and emails from a couple years back of her and him having sex in my bed, in my moms house while she was away, and numourus other pictures. I was devastated. Now about the sitter, she started babysitting for us when she was 14 years old. When she was 16 she got kicked out of her house (well thats what i was told) and she wanted to move out of province with us. I talked my husband into letting her come with us. Little did I know it was his idea for her to come to me. So now he had his wife and mistress in the same house. Good deal for him I guess. He must of told her that I broke into his email because she emailed a picture to him and i had her new phone number, with the area code for where he was supposed to be. so I started texting her. I asked her when this started and she said like 2 days after they met she was 14 and he was 24. Now when we moved to B.C. and she moved out he would always run to her rescue and i repeatly asked him if he was having sex with her (not in those words of course) He always said she is like one of our kids and I feel like we need to help her. MY thought on this now is if that is what you do to someone who is like one of our kids what are you gonna do to our girls when they get older? I have also found emails that talk about how his cousin who was 13 at the time watched as the sitter gave him head and how he thought his cousin had such a smoking hot body. It makes me nausous just thinking about it. So through these emails I found out all this and the fact that he wasn't going to work on the rigs but was planning on starting a new life with her while having me here. I'm furious that he came back and disrupted our lives again if he was planning on starting a life with her why not just leave me alone. We were healing from him leaving the first time and now we are starting from square one again. Oh yeah and now i'm dealing with the fact that I probably have a std because he is not the only one she has slept with. Man this is so something for Jerry Springer. Well at least I have my kids and the knowledge that he doesn't have the balls to show his face around here again and there is no way I am sending my kids out of province to see him, he hasn't even had the balls to call and talk to the kids. Is it wrong for me not to want to let my kids alone with this obviously sick man? That was a rhetorical stupid question I hope. |
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October 21, 2006, 4:05 pm PDT
Quote From: margaret95351 MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED PLENTY OF TIMES, YET WE SEPARATE AND MONTHS LATER START OVER , SO DOES HE ASK ME TO TAKE A LIE DETECTOE TEST OR OUR MARRIAGE WONT WORK? I have been married for five years and we have been together a total of 10 years. We have two kids; a boy and our youngest is a girl. We have had our share of bad times. His biggest problem is his possesvie ways, jealousy, and his cheating. He has slept with two of my so called friends, and others. We stopped sleeping in the same room for about five months, but we still had sex from time to time. I remember him getting off work and coming home to take a shower then leave to the gym for at least 2-3 hours. We never talked or got in the same vehicle together. I finally got the curage to leave, but I was hoping that he would basically kiss my ass so that I would stay. His idea of the seperation was going to be a good way to find out what he wanted, and made him happy. He also needed to change his atitude toward me and change the unstable comfort zone behavior as a husband. So, he basically left me, even though I moved out on my own. My life have became empty, and I was really alone with no job, no money, no house, and no friends or family since he either scared them off or skrewed them. I moved out a week before our Anniversery which is the day of his Birthday too. My sister in law said my husband dropped off our kids because he was going out of town with a girl. So, I went to get my kids back, but first I stopped at our old house to get my kids clothes. I found a bra in my dresser next to my side of the bed, and a couple of "thinking about you" cards from "HILDA". Let me say that I turned that place inside out and burned every piece of clothing he owned. A few months pasted by and I was doing very good. I had my old job back and I was sane again. Happy to meet new friends and go out. My husband and I would argue, but only because he did not give me money for the kids day care, or food, and not even for their school clothes. He would pick them up with hicky's on his neck, but I got use to it. The three months have passed and he calls to leave a message to say that his friend had died, so he wants to be there for them, therefore he was unable to get the kids that weekend. So, I did not hear from him for almost a week and I called his job and talked to his friend. His friend told me about "HILDA" and that was whose funeral he went to. It turned out that her kids father shot her serveral times in the face and then turned it on him self. Well it has been about 8 months since then and he has kissed his way back in my life again. One catch, he wants me to take a lie detector test to see if I slepted with anyone during our seperation. Since he found my calender with guy's phone numbers on the back, he has called all of them and does not believe me. He said he can not live knowing that I have slept with any one else. Since I met him I have never slepted with anyone. I have came close, but I need help with my decision and I have little time left to do so. Oh, also I will tell you that I had to take a drug test before we got married too. It was naturaly negative. At that time he was going to a drug program. So, see I think it is all in his head and I am paying double for his mistakes if I give him what he wants. I also feel like I should just take it to prove to him once again, and then walk away from him. What should I do? I either lose my husband or my beliefs and dignity and pride and self respect.
I am 27 years old. HELP WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS OR YOUR OWN OPINION. PLEASE!!
Margaret Perez
Suggestions: Move. Dye your hair. Run. Learn french and go to Paris. Consider lesbianism. Change your name. Join a cult. Electric shock therapy.
Opinion: Love doesn't hurt it heals. |
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October 22, 2006, 4:05 am PDT
Quote From: tinysgrrl well i have been married for 9 years to what i thought was a wonderful man...we had our share of problems usually money but i thought who doesn't. Last may we were sitting in our living room and the kids were in bed and he just says i'm leaving and he did. We have 4 kids so we kept some contact...in August we started "dating" he said he didn't want to come home until he knew he could support us and i was ok with that. Then he said he got a call from a oil company to go for training in alberta to work on the rigs and he will be making all this money and our lives are gonna be so much better. I was like that is great he worked long enough to buy a car and insure it and borrowed $200 from my mom to get there. He says he blew a tire and was late for his first day and they were not happy but he made it...I get the cell phone bill and see that he never made it to where he was supposed to be and that he had been in contact with our old babysitter, something I had said when we got back together was a deal breaker. I confronted him with this and he said that while we were seperated and she had come to B.C. they had gotten drunk and had sex and now she was saying she was pregnant so he had to deal with that. He told me she wasn't pregnant and he didn't want anything to do with her he only wanted to be with me and our kids. None of this felt right. My gut told me there was more to it especially when i called her cell and her number was changed so I broke into his email...yeah there was pictures and emails from a couple years back of her and him having sex in my bed, in my moms house while she was away, and numourus other pictures. I was devastated. Now about the sitter, she started babysitting for us when she was 14 years old. When she was 16 she got kicked out of her house (well thats what i was told) and she wanted to move out of province with us. I talked my husband into letting her come with us. Little did I know it was his idea for her to come to me. So now he had his wife and mistress in the same house. Good deal for him I guess. He must of told her that I broke into his email because she emailed a picture to him and i had her new phone number, with the area code for where he was supposed to be. so I started texting her. I asked her when this started and she said like 2 days after they met she was 14 and he was 24. Now when we moved to B.C. and she moved out he would always run to her rescue and i repeatly asked him if he was having sex with her (not in those words of course) He always said she is like one of our kids and I feel like we need to help her. MY thought on this now is if that is what you do to someone who is like one of our kids what are you gonna do to our girls when they get older? I have also found emails that talk about how his cousin who was 13 at the time watched as the sitter gave him head and how he thought his cousin had such a smoking hot body. It makes me nausous just thinking about it. So through these emails I found out all this and the fact that he wasn't going to work on the rigs but was planning on starting a new life with her while having me here. I'm furious that he came back and disrupted our lives again if he was planning on starting a life with her why not just leave me alone. We were healing from him leaving the first time and now we are starting from square one again. Oh yeah and now i'm dealing with the fact that I probably have a std because he is not the only one she has slept with. Man this is so something for Jerry Springer. Well at least I have my kids and the knowledge that he doesn't have the balls to show his face around here again and there is no way I am sending my kids out of province to see him, he hasn't even had the balls to call and talk to the kids. Is it wrong for me not to want to let my kids alone with this obviously sick man? No, you are not wrong. Your husband is a pedofile, a child molester. If I were you I would take any proof that you have and hand it over immed. to the police. This is not something that should be taken lightly. He is praying on young girls, sexually abusing them and your children could be next. He should be taken off the street as this man is sick and will continue to prey on children. Protect your children, call the police and file for a divorce and child support immed. |
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October 22, 2006, 11:42 am PDT
Quote From: margaret95351 MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED PLENTY OF TIMES, YET WE SEPARATE AND MONTHS LATER START OVER , SO DOES HE ASK ME TO TAKE A LIE DETECTOE TEST OR OUR MARRIAGE WONT WORK? I have been married for five years and we have been together a total of 10 years. We have two kids; a boy and our youngest is a girl. We have had our share of bad times. His biggest problem is his possesvie ways, jealousy, and his cheating. He has slept with two of my so called friends, and others. We stopped sleeping in the same room for about five months, but we still had sex from time to time. I remember him getting off work and coming home to take a shower then leave to the gym for at least 2-3 hours. We never talked or got in the same vehicle together. I finally got the curage to leave, but I was hoping that he would basically kiss my ass so that I would stay. His idea of the seperation was going to be a good way to find out what he wanted, and made him happy. He also needed to change his atitude toward me and change the unstable comfort zone behavior as a husband. So, he basically left me, even though I moved out on my own. My life have became empty, and I was really alone with no job, no money, no house, and no friends or family since he either scared them off or skrewed them. I moved out a week before our Anniversery which is the day of his Birthday too. My sister in law said my husband dropped off our kids because he was going out of town with a girl. So, I went to get my kids back, but first I stopped at our old house to get my kids clothes. I found a bra in my dresser next to my side of the bed, and a couple of "thinking about you" cards from "HILDA". Let me say that I turned that place inside out and burned every piece of clothing he owned. A few months pasted by and I was doing very good. I had my old job back and I was sane again. Happy to meet new friends and go out. My husband and I would argue, but only because he did not give me money for the kids day care, or food, and not even for their school clothes. He would pick them up with hicky's on his neck, but I got use to it. The three months have passed and he calls to leave a message to say that his friend had died, so he wants to be there for them, therefore he was unable to get the kids that weekend. So, I did not hear from him for almost a week and I called his job and talked to his friend. His friend told me about "HILDA" and that was whose funeral he went to. It turned out that her kids father shot her serveral times in the face and then turned it on him self. Well it has been about 8 months since then and he has kissed his way back in my life again. One catch, he wants me to take a lie detector test to see if I slepted with anyone during our seperation. Since he found my calender with guy's phone numbers on the back, he has called all of them and does not believe me. He said he can not live knowing that I have slept with any one else. Since I met him I have never slepted with anyone. I have came close, but I need help with my decision and I have little time left to do so. Oh, also I will tell you that I had to take a drug test before we got married too. It was naturaly negative. At that time he was going to a drug program. So, see I think it is all in his head and I am paying double for his mistakes if I give him what he wants. I also feel like I should just take it to prove to him once again, and then walk away from him. What should I do? I either lose my husband or my beliefs and dignity and pride and self respect.
I am 27 years old. HELP WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS OR YOUR OWN OPINION. PLEASE!!
Margaret Perez
Margaret...
Go to the POLICE......NOW.
Is this how you want to teach your children that a marriage should be like? Is this the type of relationship you want your Daughter to be in?
Your husband is much less than a man, and he has a distorted view on how "Men" should behave...In a word, he is abusive, and make no mistake...the longer you let this go on, the more of a chance it is that he *will* hurt you....BADLY...
If there is *any* part of you that wants this to continue because you feel "wanted", or even "loved"...you would also need help. You are throwing your life away... You are as much of a volunteer as a victim here...and your children are being put in harms way.
I could go on and on...If you don't want to end up like Hilda, you probably already know what to do. If you are waiting for people here to tell you to call the police and leave him, we are all doing so ...
Your childrens future is *your* responsibility...come to think of it, so is your own...so *be* responsible damnit. |
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