I am a young woman with 1 child of my own and 2 kids my husband has through previous relationships. We've been married for a few years and I must tell you it has been a living hell. At times it was great, then it all went down hill. He was involved with someone when I met him and here I was the stupid other woman. I can admit that now. Being on the both sides of the field, I realize the damage I created and thedamage I must endure for my actions. Needless to say, we managed to get past the previous relationship and build one of our own. Throughout the marriage, my husband cheated on me and continues to do so despite how I feel. I've caught him at another females' house 5 am with no real excuse. And he got mad at me. He always has a tendency to twist every bad situation around to make me feel like its' my fault. I've checked his voicemails and calls off of the cell bill for most of our marriage and the numbers are always the same. He keeps finding new chicks when I feel like I should be it. But I feel like I'm getting just what I deserve because of my actions and I take full responsibility for them. But when you're in a marriage in which God oversees, I feel like things should be different. I've been hurting for months. Recently a few months ago, I went to a man to talk to and confide in. Unfortunately, it didn't develop into anything but the girl who my husband broke up with me with, saw me and my friend talking in a parked car and immediately phoned my husband. My husband acted like he could forgive me but he can't and he can't seem to get past it. He cheats, doesn't want me to go anywhere, do everything for the kids, work a full-time job, cook, clean and take care of all his needs, wants and desires. It's hard because he doesn't appreciate any of it. He hangs out with his friends, visits his mistresses' and even keep contact with the ex girlfriend who he was with when he met me. His kids has a relationship with this girl and they still go and visit and spend some weekends with her. He never consulted me or even asked me how I felt about the situation. I've been trying to make things better in my marriage because I do love him but I can't say that I am in love with him. I love someone who no longer thinks that I'm special. He doesn't help with any chores and always has his hands out. As if I don't have enough on my plate to contend with. He treats me like crap, makes me feel bad continously and can be verbally abusive at times. I mean he doesn't call me names, only when I catch him doing something he's not supposed to then he twists the situation around and points the finger of blame on me. I've seen an attorney before to divorce his ass, but he acts like we can work it out when I say that I'm going a different direction. But he still remains the same. I am so broken hearted and probably don't deserve to be with him because of our origination but should I think that we we're doomed from the start. I believe that I am a wonderful person with a promising career and only 1child. I feel like I'm here for the kids because truly they get along with each other despite the fact they had to grow to love and know each other. I know that if he's not the one, there's someone out there in this crazy world that could appreciate and love the beauty they have in front of them. He says I know he cheats and he has an issue, but I don't make any better by harassing him. Anyone has any helpful insight? Please let the broken hearted know.
