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Topic : 03/21 When In-Laws Cross the Line

Number of Replies: 423
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Created on : Friday, September 15, 2006, 12:00:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/19/06) Bloody attacks, arrests, mug shots and undercover stings -- sounds like life in a rough part of town, but this is what happens when some in-law conflicts go too far! Maria and her 73-year-old mother-in-law, Catherine, came to blows over their disagreements, landing Maria in jail. Maria's husband, Ted, is tired of being in the middle and wants his mom to change her ways. Why does Catherine say it's not her fault? Can these women learn to drop their fists and get along? Then, follow a chilling true-crime story that made headlines across the nation and destroyed a family. Karen says her in-laws attempted to hire a hit man to kill her, her children and even the family dog, and the whole encounter was caught on tape! How can she and her children overcome this life-changing event? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 19, 2006, 11:00 am CDT

now that is sad

Quote From: mommyof2boys

My MIL crossed the line when she told my 5 year old son that his mommy was moving out. She told him I was getting my own house and that I was not going to be his mommy no more. That he was moving in with his NANA. I told her that was it and that we will have nothing to do with that family. My son was really confused he even went to his preschool and told his teacher that I was not his mommy no more. He told her his Nana told him so! My son has never ever said anything like this before. Well there was a time when he said that his Nana loved his cousin Emily more than him. My son is very smart and I feel that I am doing the right think by not letting his family into our lives. Am I right? Please I need Help!!!
NOW THIS IS JUST TOO SAD! SHE TOLD A 5 YEARS OLD ALL OFTHIS.WHERE WAS YOUR HUSBAND? HUH?WHERE WAS HE IN ALL OF THIS.THIS IS WHEN THE HUSBAND OR EVEN THE WIFE,NEEDTO PUT THIER FOOT DOWN.
 
September 19, 2006, 11:04 am CDT

HI

Quote From: bjikester

Why do we always see bad in-law problems?  I have two grown sons  and both of my daughter-in-laws are terrific!!   We have a great relationship.  I have one that lives down  the street  from me with 2 daughters - 3 1/2 and 16 months - both adopted from China -I was invited to go to China with them to pick up the last one.  I love going to see my other two granddaughters - 5 1/2 and 7 1/2 who live out of town.

 

I try to babysit at least once a month  on a weekend night so that my son and his wife can have some quality time together.  

HI SO NICE TOO SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A CHANGE.YOU MUST BE WONDERFUL.WHAT MAGIC DO YOU POSSES? MY DAUGHTER IS FROM CAMBODIA.MY MOM DID NOT LIKE THE FACT WE WERE ADOPTING HER.LONG STORY,BUT NONE THE LESS SHE LOVES HER NOW.GEE DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER SON?

 
September 19, 2006, 11:08 am CDT

Would love to share stories

Quote From: mommyof2boys

I just want to thank you so much! My husband supprots but doesn't support my decision to this mess! I want to Thank you cause I really needed that! I do have an email address if you would like to share stories, cause there is a lot more of stuff his family has done that I do need to get off my chest! it is martinsonmommyca@lycos.com please email me anytime! and again THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to share stories also. I am also a stay at home mommy of 3 boys and wouldn't change that for the world. My email address is leegraaleb3@aol.com you can email me anytime as well. Thank you
 
September 19, 2006, 11:10 am CDT

OH MY GOSH!!!!!

Quote From: neenawhite

Both of my parents are serving time in prison for murdering their son-in-law, my brother-in-law. When they killed him (my father shot him three times with a rifle at close range), my younger sister, his wife, was 21 weeks pregnant with their child, a son. My father also kicked her in the stomach when she tried to grab the gun from him but the baby survived. I watched this murder happen in my own home, right before my eyes. It is something I will never forget even though it happened more than three years ago. My mother told the police officer after it happened that she and my dad took care of it, "The Sicilian way."

I DON'T BELIVE THIS! WHERE WERE THE POLICE IN ALL THIS ? WAS THERE ANY FAMILY  INTERVENTION BEFORE THIS ALL EXPLODED? DID ANYONE  ,EVEN YOU KNOW IT WAS GOING TO COME TO THIS. AND IN YOUR HOME TOO. WHAT LEAD THEM TO ALL THIS. AND YOUR NEPHEW,IS HE WITH YOU NOW? YOU SHOULD HAVE  YOUR STORY ON DR. PHIL.

 I NEVER READ ABUOT THIS IN THE NEWSPAPERS.

 
September 19, 2006, 11:19 am CDT

READ MY LIPS....I AIN'T GOT NO PROBLEMS WITH MY IN-LAWS

      I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH MY IN-LAWS! WHY,BECAUSE I NEVER PUT UP WITH ANYONES BULL.I HAD A HARD LIFE.LETS CALL IT ,I WAS RAISED BY THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS. WHEN I GREW UP,I VOWED I WOULD NEVER PUT UP WITH ANYTHING AGAIN AFTER MY LOUSY CHILDHOOD!

 MY DAD -IN -LAW WAS FINE,PERFECT IN EVERY WAY....WHY? BECAUSE HE ALWAYS SHUT HIS MOUTH! HE NEVER ONCE BUTTED INTO ANYTHING.NEVER.HE IS STILL ALIVE AND KICKING.THOUGH WE ARE NO LONGER MARRIED,I MUST SAY WHEN I DO SPEAK TO MY EX, I ALWAYS ASK FOR MY DAD-IN-LAW FIRST.  HE EVEN LIVED WITH US FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME WHEN HE BECAME ILL. AND IT WAS AT MY INSTISTANCE,NOT MY SPOUSES! TO THIS DAY, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM.HE IS 98 YEARS OLD!

        NOTICE I DID NOT MENTION MY MOTHER-IN -LAW IN THIS QUOTE?!?!

 
September 19, 2006, 11:33 am CDT

Thank You

Quote From: miche1972

That is just awful! I am sorry to hear that. I hoep you can try again and bless oyur family with a beautiful baby! Let the inlaws eat their words when it does happen.

 

          You are a good person cause I would haveb een nasty to them with their comments.

Thank you for your thoughful response.  Whether or not we have another child is totally in God's hands now, but, it would be a great blessing to have one more child.  I did eventually sit down with my inlaws some months after this happened, simply and calmly relayed to them that their future relationship with my daughter and I was in their hands.  I told them that they had been forgiven, but in no uncerntain terms did that mean that what they did or said was justified or right.  Though I had chosen that my daughter and I would not subject ourselves to being around our inlaws, I never let their relationship with their son be affected.  When we met I laid the ground rules as to how my daughter and I would be treated from that day forward or I would haven o choice but to remove myself completely from the family for good this time.  Thank God they took me seriously and at my word because today (2 years later) there have been no additional incidents like I had originally experienced with them and the extended family and we have been able to "repair" our relationship as much as it can be repaired.  To their credit, they both try to be more accepting and caring and in return I treat them like I would my parents. I guess I am one of the lucky ones considering all the stories on the message board.
 
September 19, 2006, 11:37 am CDT

I KNOW FOR A FACT.....

    LETS ALL BE HONEST......I KNOW FOR A FACT  AS DOED EVERYONE ELSE......THERE WOULD BE LESS PROBLEMS WITH  IN-LAWS AND OUT-LAWS. HOW ,YOU ASK? IF THE SPOUSES PUT THIER FOOT DOWN IN THE VERY BEGINNING!!!!!  ALOT OF CHILDREN CAN NOT SIMPLY CREATE LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES WITH THIER PARENTS BECASUE THEY THEMSLEVES ARE AFRIAD TO CREATE ANY BAD FEELINGS,OR HOSTLITLY.

    REMEMBER WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS....A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS PARENTS AND CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE. THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE!!!! WHY DOES NOT ANYONE EVER APPLY THIS QUOTE TO THIER LIVES?!?!!?  MY HUSBAND NEVER SPOKE BACK TO HIS MOTHER,HE WAS A BIG BABY .HE ALSO TOOK CARE OF HER BECAUSE SHE WAS ILL.HE WAS THE LAST ONE TO LEAVE THE NEST TOO. HIS BROTHER AND HIS WIFE GOT OFF EASY,I FELT. 

     THERE WAS A LOT OF TENSION AND HOSTILTY THERE BETWEEN US. ACTUALLY EVERYTHING WAS FINE WHEN WE FIRST STARTING DATING.SHE WAS A DREAM.EVERYTHING CHNAGED WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED.THEN HER TRUE COLORS CAME OUT. WHY?  BECAUSE I WAS NOT CATHOLIC ,AND WE WERE  GOING TO RAISE MY CHILDREN IN A DIFFERNT "RELIGION"!!!! SHE EVEN TOLD US NOT TO GET MARRIED. WOW!  AT LEAST MY KIDS GO TO CHURCH !  MY MOM WAS VERY HURT ABOUT THIS.THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. WHY IS IT WHEN YOU DATE EVERYTHING IS FINE.THEN...WHAM!??!!?!!!   THEY CHANGE.IS IT BECAUSE THEY KNOW THIS YOU ARE  THE ONE.THAT YOU ARE FINALLY GOING TO BE THE SPOUSE!? WHEN AN ARGUMENT INCURRED .MY HUSBAND CAME TO ME THE NEXT DAY AND TOLD ME "WE HAD A PROBLEM !! "   I SAID , " WE? NO NOT WE ,SHE HAS A PROBLEM"  AND THAT....WAS THAT!!!!!

    WHEN THE MOM -IN -LAW  DIED I WAS NOT EVEN GOING TO GO TO THE WAKE OR FUNERAL SERVICE.THE ONLY REASON I FINALLY DID WAS BECAUSE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY STARTED TO SHOW UP AND PAY THEIR "RESPECTS " .   I WAS LIKE,,,,HUH?!?! WHY, AFTER WHAT SHE HAD DONE TO ME?!?! IT WAS VERY HARD TO BRING MYSELF TO GO TO THIS FUNERAL.MY HUSBAND,AT THE TIME ,WAS UPSET BECAUSE I DID NOT GET ALONG WITH HIS MOM. I WAS LIKE,NO SHE DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH ME.

    EVEN TO THIS DAY,WE ARE NO LONGER MARRIED.HE IS UPSET WITH THE FACT THAT SHE COULD NOT GET ALONG WITH ME.I TELL HIM ALL THE TIME. SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT SEE EYE TO EYE. HE SAYS, OH ,BUT EVERYONE LIKES MY MOTHER. I REPLY,WELL, IF SHE DID NOT SAY AND DO THOSE CRUEL THINGS,THEN I WOULD HAVE LIKED HER TOO!!!!

 
September 19, 2006, 11:56 am CDT

when people have all these problems with in laws

why dont they just stay away from one another untill they have something good to say about  one another? as far as for the mother in law who tried to take a hit out on her daughter inlaw and children and even the dog!!  wow   lol  a very sick person in the shell of a human i see there,but this is for the daughter inlaw, you relly need to end all ties with all that family move across country and change yours and your childrens names, ohh yeah and send the dog to a trainer and have him or her taught to be a attack dog, a dog will take care of most problems you have with people like your inlaws, if you dont still have the dog go buy a german shepard, there very smart animals and easy to train and they will protect you and your children from any one!!!!
 
September 19, 2006, 12:36 pm CDT

the mother in law is not the mom

The raising of the children seems to be one of the biggest issues with some inlaws. They  forget that they are the grandparents not the parents. As for Maria the mother inlaw she is 70 years old I believe that is what doctor phil said . My mother is the same age and  she can bleed and bruise very easily . The older you get the thinner your skin gets and it has the tendency to bleed scrape of and bruise very easily even a small bump into an object cant cause scraping  bleeding and brusing of the skin.  There is no way that she use anything more than a firm grip to bring the mother in laws arm down as bad as that picture looks. I have seen my mom get banged up just from every day bumps that would do little to a younger person.  I think the mother in law was very upset and used that bruised up arm as visual proof  that she was the victim when she may have not been. This is just a bad situation all the way around but reguardless the husband should NOT have ever gone to pick his mother up after she just got done pressing charges. Jeez  if she is big enough to press charges then let her find her own way home. The shows not over but the couple themselves need counseling especially if the mom is saying that stuff in front of the children who are taking everything in that is not a good thing..
 
September 19, 2006, 12:55 pm CDT

I feel much better about my family's life now...

Why do family's have to be like this?  I have had problems with my Inlaws and my daughters molestation.  My MIL said it was my daughters fault (she was 4 1/2).  At least it didn'th happen at gunpoint and we wern't almost murdered (and my husband wasn't the one that did it).  Some people need to be ...well...I won't say all that needs to happen to these people.
 
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