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Topic : 01/01 Revenge of the Exes

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Created on : Friday, September 15, 2006, 12:01:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/20/06) Have you ever wanted revenge on an ex-lover? How far would you go? First, look inside a legal battle that has been brewing all summer. Tasha, creator of the Web site DontDateHimGirl.com, says her site is a public forum for women to share their dating experiences and tell the "truth" about their exes. Todd says false information about him was posted on Tasha's site, and he thinks she should be liable for the negative posts. He has filed a lawsuit against her and two of the women who posted. When they face off for the first time, who does Dr. Phil think is right? Then, Ashley found out her boyfriend, Corey, had cheated on her three times during their 10-month relationship. Now, she says she wants to get revenge by exposing him to the world. So why did she recently call Corey and beg for sex? And, Corey comes clean with Ashley and tells her how he really feels. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 19, 2007, 7:54 pm CST

HMM NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY WAKE UP CALL

Quote From: victoria1026

The truth will set you free.  I agree that some women and men are vile and like to hurt others...but if the comments made are not true and you are a good man and not a slim ball then anyone you know will know that.  And if you are concerned about your clients finding this out then you should also post the truth about what was said about you.  I live by the rule that what will be,,,, will be.... and "maybe" this is a wake up call.
  GRANTED THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO TRAMPLE OVER PEOPLE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT AND AS A WOMAN I DID THINK THAT THE WEBSITE WAS CUTE BUT THEN I THOUGHT.. WAIT A MIN HERE. THESE BLOGS ARE GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND. IS IT REALLY RIGHT TO BLOG SOMEONES PERSONAL INFORMATION, MEDICAL INFO, AND ADDRESS.?  I  MEAN WHY ARE THEY REALLY DOING THIS?  SINCE SEEM TO BE A BELIEVER OF WHAT WILL BE WILL BE..  I GOT ONE FOR YOU  WHAT IF A UNSTABLE PERSON GATHERS THE INFORMATION OF WHERE SOME OF THE PERSON LIVES ON HER  WEBSITE AND DOES BODILY HARM TO THEM OR ONE OF THEIR FAMILIES  TRYING TO GET TO THE PERSON THAT SUPPOSEDLY "WRONGED THEM"?
 
February 27, 2007, 7:27 am CST

Seriously...Grow up

I think the website she created is completely childish. I am very interested in finding out what happened with this situation. If Tasha was concerned about womens feelings, hurt or pain than the profits for such a website should have gone to a womens organization for battered women or to women who have experienced REAL hurt & pain. This site is just for some silly little girls frustration. Noone knows the truth behind these failed relationships, and for it to be a one sited story tell is just crazy. Sure the guys can respond to the comments but what adult has time to play such childish games. We've all been hurt at some point or another. For us REAL WOMEN we use it as a learning tool, we hurt, we cry but we move on....................
 
February 27, 2007, 7:50 am CST

Get real Dr Phil

This episode aired in the UK today.

 

First, I was so disappointed with the usually very fair Dr Phil. He repeatedly sided with Todd Hollis. Dr Phil, give the viewers a chance to make up their own minds based on the evidence.

 

Second, although I knew nothing of this website before seeing this programme I feel it performs a useful function in allowing women to let off steam in a safe environment. When a man discovers he has been lied to and cheated on by a woman what does he do? Beat up the other guy? Go on a drinking binge? Start a fight? Jump in his car and drive off at way over the speed limit jeopardising the lives of others? Now think about what a woman can do in the same circumstances. She may have invested real hope in the relationship but women, traditionally, have no avenue by which they can let out their feelings. So they end up hatching revenge plots like the one described by the girl at the end of the show. Better a few words on a website than a revenge plot that goes too far -  especially when the man concerned can issue his own rebuttal if he feels wronged.

 

As for Tasha and Todd . . . . Tasha is only providing a service. If I phone my friends to tell them that I've just discovered my guy was a lying, cheating, married b*****d who was bedding several other women without telling me (and risking my sexual health by so doing) should the phone company be sued? Of course not. Todd's just after a bit of publicity for his law firm and some money to line his pockets.

 

Dr Phil, get real. Of course, success (or good living as you said) is the best revenge and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all turn the bitterness we feel when we discover we've been duped into motivation for a better future five years down the line but real life ain't like that. The anguish is here today, it hurts and we want a panacea now to make it feel better. If that's a website on which we can offload so be it.

 

Or, if you're not happy with that as an option, why don't you come up with a better solution for wronged women everywhere Dr Phil?

 
February 27, 2007, 11:37 am CST

I can feel their pain!

I completely understand how these ladies feel! When I am logical, I feel as many do, that revenge is absurd. However, when emotional, which most women feel quite often, it is hard to differentiate between that overwhelming pain and what is right to do. I have been in and out of an infidelity ridden relationship, of which a small child is the product. I had to realize that I was in the wrong for staying in it for so long and allowing this person to treat me poorly. This last time around, I am more mad at myself for putting my worth aside for the deceit and broken promises he poured out.  The women making all those posts have to start taking responsibility for their actions and not play the victim role, as I have had to learn to do.  If they think clearly about it, there were signs in their relationship, there always are. As women we have to not believe in that fairy tale ideal that our MAN is a prince. He's just another man with issues, just like we are women with issues. He can not be something we imagine...we take him for who he is, given his faults, or we don't take him at all.  We can choose to be in something and compromise our negotiables and sometimes our non-negotiable ideals or we can be true to ourselves and get out. And when we get out....we get out and not linger in anger and revenge. Obviously, this is my logical side. Just yesterday I was on a whole different plain!! LOL!
 
February 27, 2007, 4:57 pm CST

Ok so we just got it

I must admit that I am very suprised by THAT woman that owns the website, She knows very well what she is doing, She is just a big bully, and how hard could it have been for her to delete what was said when she was asked,

 

Ok I know this seems a little late but we in NZ get the shows at least a month late!!

 
March 2, 2007, 11:44 am CST

double standard

One of the things that really amazed me about this was the fact that during this segment, I heard much of the audience laughing and chuckling. This woman bragged about calling her exes with fake STD reports, burglarizing his home, disabling the thermostat and glueing the door shut.

 

I would like us to consider how amusing this would be if this was a man doing this to a woman.  What if a man was cheated on and his girlfriend left him? What if a man went over to his ex-girlfriend's house and burglarized it and destroyed her personal belongings? What if a man disabled the thermostat and glued her door shut. What if a man called the woman's new boyfriend with a fake STD report?

 

This would not be amusing!  If a man exacted the same measures of "revenge," he would GO TO PRISON. He would be seen as a stalker and a harasser. He would have restraining orders put on him. Additionally, I doubt that anyone in the Dr. Phil audience would find that amusing in the least.

 

It should not be amusing for a man to do this to a woman or a woman to do this to a man. 

 
April 3, 2007, 5:31 am CDT

Holy....!!

(I'm danish so my english sucks)

Is it for real, the law-thing, the fight.. and so on?

In Denmark we would call the "Dont date him girls"-site a "Mobnings-side" / "BULLY"-site. I cant believe its legal in the US.

And I dont understand how "Grown" people can be SO "childies"

(But great show)!

 

Frank Nielsen, DK

 
April 11, 2007, 12:52 am CDT

01/01 Revenge of the Exes

Quote From: cherubim

This episode aired in the UK today.

 

First, I was so disappointed with the usually very fair Dr Phil. He repeatedly sided with Todd Hollis. Dr Phil, give the viewers a chance to make up their own minds based on the evidence.

 

Second, although I knew nothing of this website before seeing this programme I feel it performs a useful function in allowing women to let off steam in a safe environment. When a man discovers he has been lied to and cheated on by a woman what does he do? Beat up the other guy? Go on a drinking binge? Start a fight? Jump in his car and drive off at way over the speed limit jeopardising the lives of others? Now think about what a woman can do in the same circumstances. She may have invested real hope in the relationship but women, traditionally, have no avenue by which they can let out their feelings. So they end up hatching revenge plots like the one described by the girl at the end of the show. Better a few words on a website than a revenge plot that goes too far -  especially when the man concerned can issue his own rebuttal if he feels wronged.

 

As for Tasha and Todd . . . . Tasha is only providing a service. If I phone my friends to tell them that I've just discovered my guy was a lying, cheating, married b*****d who was bedding several other women without telling me (and risking my sexual health by so doing) should the phone company be sued? Of course not. Todd's just after a bit of publicity for his law firm and some money to line his pockets.

 

Dr Phil, get real. Of course, success (or good living as you said) is the best revenge and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all turn the bitterness we feel when we discover we've been duped into motivation for a better future five years down the line but real life ain't like that. The anguish is here today, it hurts and we want a panacea now to make it feel better. If that's a website on which we can offload so be it.

 

Or, if you're not happy with that as an option, why don't you come up with a better solution for wronged women everywhere Dr Phil?

I am sorry but, I agree with being able to post men who are ABUSIVE on this site. My X was a very, very charming narcissist who could fool anyone into thinking he was mr. wonderful with his charm and mirroring. He scammed me out of thousands of dollars. He has a criminal record that he lies about and he is abusive in every way a human being can be. He ruined my life and left me emotionally, mentally and financially devastated. There are worse things than being just "cheated" on. I did NOT post him for "revenge" I posted him there as a warning to others. This man is dangerous and he is out there online doing what he does......AND where he lives and works and where he is IN CHARGE of mentally ill people. Everyone needs to know who he is and be warned. I'll tell you how smooth he is, I told the people above him where he works about him and I told them that if they told him they would be putting me in danger but, not only that they would end up believeing HIM despite ANY evidence to the contrary. What did they do? They talked directly to him about it, he of course did a successful smear campaign on MY character and they promoted him. I agree with Tasha having that site. It might protect someone out there from people like this. Narcissists and Psychopaths are dangerous and should be exposed.
 
April 11, 2007, 12:54 am CDT

01/01 Revenge of the Exes

P.S. I want to say again I did NOT post him there to get any revenge. Revenge? I'm too busy rebuilding the tatters of my life. But it was HEALING for me to TELL who and what he is. Healing because abusers isolate their victims from people and support. Healing because I was able to finally say MY truth instead of listening to his word salad. Tasha here's to YOU!
 
April 19, 2007, 1:10 pm CDT

Cyberstalked

This issue hits home for me. Before you comment let me ask you a question? Have you ever been defamed, lied about, called filthy names on a search-able site? If your answer is no, How could you even for one second know what the man is going through? If Tasha's site is like the one I have been dealing with, posting the truth wont matter.  Its a BULLY site, plain and simple.  It was created to defame, embarrass and harass men.  I am female by the way, but feel for anyone going through what I am going through.  On a BULLY site, you can attempt to dispute what has been posted.  Would any of you like to know or do any of you care to know what happens? I will tell you what happens.  What happens is this... post the truth you get attached in print by the hurt, vicious folks that not only post on the site but read the negativity posted there daily.  They pat each other on the back, post to each others sites... You cant get the truth out there.  You are attacked. 

 

So... now There is a federal laws that makes it illegal to post such things on a public forum.

 

See the link: http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode47/usc_sec_47_00000223----000-.html

 

Sometimes cyberstalking a precursor to more violent behavior.  From what I understand Virginia Tech shooter Cho Seung-Hui was cyberstalking female students. Perhaps this law could have nipped that behavior if he had been prosecuted?  We will never know. 

 
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