Topic : 09/22 Follow-Ups

Maintaining his sobriety is Brandon`s #1 priority, and rightfully so, but his life will never be easy. As a recovering addict myself (clean almost 13 years), and having a felony drug conviction, I understand the difficult journey Brandon has embarked upon. I can`t get a decent job. Any job that you could support a family with, is practically unatainable to someone with a felony drug conviction. I will probably never own a home, drive a new car or retire before the day I die. Unless if somebody is wealthy before getting into trouble, the odds are stacked against them for the rest of their lives.

 

I wish Brandon all the best in his life, and if he reads the message boards, I just want to tell him to stay strong. When you can only find minimum wage employment (because decent jobs require background checks), and have to get a friend to rent you an apartment (once again, background checks), that`s when you need to be strongest. Staying clean when you`re happy is easy, doing it when all you want to do is escape reality, isn`t.

I have a family member with a 30-year history of drug and alcohol abuse.  I offer up great hope to Brandon and his family for this sobriety to last Brandon's lifetime.  And just for Brandon specifically..... Some women like men who are "chunked up" (as Dr. Phil put it!) and most women like men who don't have a glassy stare and can carry on an intelligent conversation!!!  GOOD LUCK BRANDON!

There is a lot of truth that came through today's show that isn't mentioned very often.  I hear the statement that "everyone has some emotional problem or diagnosis" but I am learning that emotional disorders are not over-diagnosed but they are under-treated.  Imagine if most of the diabetics in this country were not receiving some kind of treatment- cancer, or asthma or any other common disease or disorder that is medically treated today.  Dr. Phil has reached people through a medium that hasn't been traditionally used in this manner and people are becoming aware of the possible treatments that are available through medication and therapy.

 

The thing about therapy and medication, from my experience, is that it really works- IF you follow the instructions of your physician.  These are powerful tools that can change your life from the inside out.

 

I came from a very dysfunctional family and I have struggled in adult life with depression, relationships issues, alcohol, employment, school and anxiety.  My emotional problems have permeated throughout my life causing stress, frustration, failures and pain.  Some people come from families that are violently dysfunctional, abusive, and children are exposed to tremendous horrors that I did not have to endure growing up.  And some of these people turn out just fine.   How can that be, I used to wonder?

 

Some people have emotional intelligence and a tolerance to stress that others do not.  I had a very low emotional intelligence and I struggled with stress.  Low self esteem, low confidence, a negative attitude and reactive state ruled the ways I dealt with problems and I felt that no matter what, nothing I ever did came out like I had wanted it.  Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted in life, I had gotten so far away from any sort of authentic self that every time I searched within for answers I found just emptiness inside.

 

My family life growing up was confusing and painful.  We had a dad that was critical, controlling and mean.  When I saw some of the guests on the show that were hyper-critical, I thought "Oh my God that is my DAD!"  He put us down and disapproved of everything that my brother and I did, for what ever reason, I do not know why to this day.

 

My point is, the Dr. Phil show was the stepping stone that I needed to get into therapy and take medication and the show started my life in a positive direction.  That has been so critical; really, I can't even express in words.  My therapist (a psychiatrist) told me in the beginning that together we would be able to fix things that I was sure were "unfixable".   It's true; there are ways, through cognitive behavioral therapy and medication that will change your life.  The reason why the success stories seem to be unpublished is that I don’t think people go around publishing their recovery.  Depression is not an open issue when treated. 

 

There are answers, there are solutions.  Walking in the path of truth, being comfortable in my authentic self has made life a different experience for me.   I just hope that others can get the help that they need and curb the suffering that exists needlessly. 

 

 

I wonder why Brandon is going to AA instead of NA. Most AAmeetings I have gone to don't like addicts coming to thier meetings and qualifing themselves as addicts. I have been around the program for awile and NA is the only thing that has worked for me.

When this story first started on Dr. Phil, I almost sent a message to him about how he was handleing it.  I am in recovery from drugs and alcohol and I felt like he was a little hard, and nieve. 

 

Now, I feel differently about it.  My problem with the story at first was something that I also had to work on, and that is that addiction is a disese.  Dr. Phil compared it to cancer and diabetes.  I have cancer and diabetes and I thought that my addition was different.  After working the steps in AA, I have realized that it is a disese and that following what my sponser says, makes me feel better and takes away the "symptoms". 

 

I am really glad that he is following this story because I think more people need to see how difficult dealing with addiction is.  I am also glad to see that Branden is doing well and I would love to run into him at a meeting sometime. 

 

BRANDEN-if you are ever in Minn area, I hope to see you some evening and share our experiences with eachother!

 

If anyone has questions about addiction, that a fellow addict can help with.  Please respond to this and we can talk!

 

 

i think that it is different in every area of the US. Here in Minn, they are both similar and at the AA meetings that I go to, they don't get angry at the addicts that come and pronounce themselves that.  It is interesting because the ones that do say they are addicts, usually, in time, see that alcohol can do the same thing to them as drugs do.  I just always hope that they can learn that before they go try it themselves.

 

 

I hope this place really helped Amanda, and I'm very happy for her if it did.

 

I'm 100% convinced that if the parents haven't also done a whole lot of changing during this time, the problems will continue shortly after her return home. She may react differently because she's grown and changed, but the problems will persist. Her parents are way way too disrespectful of her for her to respect them. Thank God she's nearly old enough to be on her own.

My brother is dealing with drug addiction and gambling. I just found out about his addiction about a year ago.  We don't live near each other so I don't always know what is going on with him. We talk on the phone but I don't always believe every thing that comes out of his mouth. Six months ago I thought he was going to make that step to get help for his problems. He never followed through with it. Two months ago he called me crying after loosing his half of the rent money at the cascino. He's been sharing an apartment with my sister and he told me they would get evicted in three days if they didn't come up with the entire rent for that month. It was already the 18th and they hadn't pay their rent yet. My sister was waiting for his part of the rent. I told him if he checked into the treatment center that I called for him within two days I would talk to our sister and cover his part of the rent. It was the understanding it was a LOAN. I told him as soon as he got out of treatment center he could start repaying me back. I told him I would take payments but I wanted it paid back in four months. He never checked into the treatment center but they got their rent paid and I haven't gotten paid back. I am so over his lies, lies, lies, lies. I keep saying I won't let money get between me and my brother. I don't know why I loaned him the money. Five years ago he borrowed 1200.00 to pay his mortage and he never paid me back. I didn't speak to him for three years. He sat in my living room and told me and my husband he would pay us back in four weeks.  He is 35 yrs old and I'm tired of him lying. I don't want to bail him out every time he looses money or drinks all his money away. I don't know what to do. I love him but I don't think I'm doing much good bailing him out. I just want him to seek help and I know that isn't going to happen until he is ready for himself. What should I do? 

I have never posted a message before but after seeing the show on the "dont date him girl" website I  have to add my opinion.  That young woman is wrong and the site should be shut down.  It is wrong to try to ruin someone's life because you were silly enough to allow them to mistreat you.  Women allow men to become too much a part of their lives( self-esteem, sense of well-being, etc.) before gettting to know the person well.  Character flaws will reveal themselves iin time.  I have two ex-sons-in-law, neither of whom I would have chosen and both of whom I have issues with, but I would not be a part of any attempt to bash them or influence anyone in a relationship with either young man.  Posting ugly invectives says more about the writer's character than about the person being bashed.

Doctor Fol  Low Phil Ups. Not again? I tthought that was last year. See you next week for Doctor House Phil/Robin. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell