Quote From: gjl724Good Afternoon,
My daughter Valerie passed away on January 11, 2005 she was married, no children and she was 33 yrs old. It was December 4, 2004 that I got the call my daughter was being admitted to ICU with kidney and liver failure. Well, for the next 5 weeks she was heavily sedated and in two different hospital ICU's. Then, the day came when she had gotten better. She was able to come home with oxygen, hospital bed, nurse, etc. etc. And, do outpatient dialysis. On Thursday, January 5, 2005 I met her at her dialysis.......the doctor said it would not be much longer that she would need dialysis. While in the doctor's office she developed a fever....doctor gave her antibiotic iv and sent her home. The fever did not break. We ( husband and I) took her to the hospital.............while waiting for a bed................we were talking and in a very good mood she has a heart attack and for the next 6 days could not be stabilized.....and passed away.
I miss her so much. My heart breaks everyday. I don't know how to get better. I just want my daughter back. I do take antidepressants but they don't help. And, to make matters worse my ex son in law will not return my phone calls. He said he would not do anything with my daughter's remains and her personal things without giving me the opportunity to have them back. But, I guess he was not serious. He also has personal things that belonged to my Mother. I can't imagine what goes though someones mind. I realize I don't know what he is going through losing a wife. But, I do no that there is nothing in this world that compares to losing a CHILD>no matter what age.
Hopefully, someone can help me put this all in perspective. Thanks for you help.
Gail
Gail-
Everytime I hear a Mother-in-LOSS story , my heart breaks and cries again. The only thing that I can you, is that time softens the pain. My daughters anniversary of death is approaching (12/05 five years). I finished celebrating what would have been her 30th birthday.
The thing that helped me the most was believing in the Lord Jesus Christ. He had a plan for her and when that plan was completed he brought her home. Over the course of nine years of her being sick (as a result of a neglect doctor prescribing drugs) we were told several times to bring the family together, that she would not last through the day or night. Alicia died of congestive heart failure, and total organ shut-down. I too am only antidepressants (2 DIFFERENT), they help to cope with the every day functions, but they do not take the pain away.
My one piece of advice is to talk about her, as if she was still with you. She was part of your life for 33 years. Don't let anyone tell you to just suck it up and move on. Remember all the great times that you had with her. People don't want to talk her with you cause they don't know what to say, and these are the ones that won't you to move on. How can you move on, part of you is GONE! I am thankful that I have a great daughter-in-law. She lets me talk about her, remember her, and doesn't fault me. Find someone that will let you vent, someone that knows that loss. I too, want my daughter back, but not the way she was. She was in so much pain the last 2 months of her life. I watched her strave and shut down for nine days. You will get better, remember that there are others out there that need you. My DIL had to remind of that.
Another thing that has helped is, I started a past-time activity....machine embroidery. I started making things for the nursing home residents, and now it has turned into a full time JOB. I love it. Each time I make something, I label it in memory of Alicia. There is something for you, and you will find it, or shall I say, it will find you. You are in my prayers. I don't check this often, but if you want to correspond my email is alwill210@netzero.net.
Lynn
