Topic : Interracial Relationships

Hi! I need some advice from everyone. I am a biracial female who is dating a white male. We've been dating for (2) years and have a WONDERFUL relationship. We only have one problem. His dad's side of the family doesn't like or accept me at all! Not because they think I'm not good enough for my boyfriend, or they think I'm a bad person, but because I'm not "all white". They will not invite me to family get togethers such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. They only want him to come, as long as I'm not there. His grandmother called him and said that she had heard a rumor that she hoped wasn't true that he was dating a biracial girl. He said that it was ture and she said that he didn't know what he was doing and that he didn't have is head on right. She wanted him to think about what he was doing and she said that she would pray for him! He told her ok just so she would shut up and hasn't talked to her since. This Thanksgiving his dad's side of the family invited him over for dinner without me and he was going to go. I thought about it and told him that I wouldn't go if it were my family not accepting him. I told him I couldn't imagine leaving him at home alone to go be with my family who didn't like him because of something he couldn't help. It's absolutly crazy! He wanted me to go with him and I told him absolutly not! I'm not going to someone's house who doesn't like me because I'm a shade darker than them. I don't think I have to associate with them. They don't want to know me because of a stupid reason and I don't really want to get to know them either. I told my boyfriend that they were welcome in my house all day long, but I'm not going to someone's house that I'm not welcomed at.

My boyfriend was going to go until I told him how I felt and then the next day he changed his mind and didn't go. I do feel that if I hadn't told him how I felt that he would have gone anyway. I think that if he really loved me that he would stand up for me to his own family and tell them that if I'm not welcomed that he's not going either. He told his dad why he didn't go and his dad had no response. He just completly changed the subject.

So in all, I'm totaly against my boyfriend going to see these people even if he only sees them a few times a year, and he's still wanting to see them. He doesn't know what to do. He says he loves me and I know he does, but I'm not going to stay with him if he cannot support me and stand up for me even if he is a fantastic guy. We've talked about marriage and we both want a future with eachother, but I cannot be with him if he wants to see these people who hate me for such a stupid reason. His mom's side of the family love me and have no problem that we are together so at least I have them on my side! What should I do and what should he do? Should I stand with him and let him go visit these people who dislike me because of my skin tone, or do I give him an ulti.? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks to all who reply.

L

i don't even know where to begin. three years ago i got with a boy named andre. he has been the love of my life so far since day one. i'm only 18 but i've already lost my family because of it. i would do anything for him because i love him very much! my mom assumes that because he's black that he's automatically a bad person, when truly he is the one who takes me to church every sunday. i know going to church doesn't make you a good person but he truly carries out the image of god and i love him everyday for that. its been stressful through the years and we have broken up a few times before because we couldn't handle the way my mother is. right now we are planning on spending the rest of our lives together, but before we do that we want my mom to be able to accept us. if she never does then i'm going to miss out on a lot more than i already have. another thing is that i don't want to have kids and then she can't accept them for their skin or she makes them feel different. it wouldn't be fair for them. i honestly haven't gotten to the point where i can understand why racism exists today but for some reason people are just really ignorant. i wish i could have my family back but at the same time i don't want to lose him. i don't know how i'm supposed to choose either. how do you honestly choose between people that you love? can you seriously answer that? my mom hasn't even taken the time to get to know him either. she hasn't said a single word to him. speaking of that though, she hasn't said a word to him but she has gone to his parents house and yelled at them for it. first it was his mothers house and then his father was approached. i can't stand my mom for that. it wasn't right that she yelled at them when, at that time, they had nothing to do with me. now his parents and i are close. sometimes i feel like i'm depriving him of something that he deserves. he deserves to have a girlfriend who's parents accept him and it upsets me all the time that i can't give that to him. gosh, there is so much that i wish i could say but i honestly don't even know how to get it out on paper. i need some help getting my family back without losing him in the process.

i don't even know where to begin. three years ago i got with a boy named andre. he has been the love of my life so far since day one. i'm only 18 but i've already lost my family because of it. i would do anything for him because i love him very much! my mom assumes that because he's black that he's automatically a bad person, when truly he is the one who takes me to church every sunday. i know going to church doesn't make you a good person but he truly carries out the image of god and i love him everyday for that. its been stressful through the years and we have broken up a few times before because we couldn't handle the way my mother is. right now we are planning on spending the rest of our lives together, but before we do that we want my mom to be able to accept us. if she never does then i'm going to miss out on a lot more than i already have. another thing is that i don't want to have kids and then she can't accept them for their skin or she makes them feel different. it wouldn't be fair for them. i honestly haven't gotten to the point where i can understand why racism exists today but for some reason people are just really ignorant. i wish i could have my family back but at the same time i don't want to lose him. i don't know how i'm supposed to choose either. how do you honestly choose between people that you love? can you seriously answer that? my mom hasn't even taken the time to get to know him either. she hasn't said a single word to him. speaking of that though, she hasn't said a word to him but she has gone to his parents house and yelled at them for it. first it was his mothers house and then his father was approached. i can't stand my mom for that. it wasn't right that she yelled at them when, at that time, they had nothing to do with me. now his parents and i are close. sometimes i feel like i'm depriving him of something that he deserves. he deserves to have a girlfriend who's parents accept him and it upsets me all the time that i can't give that to him. gosh, there is so much that i wish i could say but i honestly don't even know how to get it out on paper. i need some help getting my family back without losing him in the process.