Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - Interracial Relationships

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February 12, 2008, 5:37 pm PST

Hard Work

Quote From: nikkiandchris

i agree with you interracial relations are hard work but are worth every second of it ive been in one for 1 year and 10 months and i am getting married soon

Yes they are hard work. I am a white female. And it sometimes is a struggle to cope with different cultures. I love and adore the man I am with.

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mamaehinoh

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February 19, 2008, 12:26 pm PST

interacial is wonderful

i am 23, got married at 18 and my husband is nigerian, i am dutch (white)

he is 10 years older than me, but i enjoy every part of it, he gave me 3 wonderful children, and he made me of who i am today, he took me in when i was lost, and now i am found, i was a drug addict, i smoked and drank, but because of him i stopped all of those, he even made me go to church!

I love him so much, because my mother accused him of being my pimp and drugdealer, while he is exactly opposit!

He has never beaten me or harmed me, but he is a wonderful husband and father and would never leave him because of what my family says.

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lauramae71

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February 20, 2008, 12:23 pm PST

hello

hello there i love to watch your show i think it is the best talk show ever

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motherluv1

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February 22, 2008, 3:54 am PST

Unfamiliar territory

I have a daughter who is involved in an interracial relationship - she white, him black. My family has just recently learned of this relationship and are very, very disappointed, hurt, upset, and even worse - embarassed, and have no problem telling me so. Although I am not happy with the relationship - she is young - I am not embarassed by it. I am hurt and disappointed and cannot find myself to be a part of this type of situation, but not sure that I could tell my daughter to give up what obviously makes her happy - or at least she thinks she is. My family - I'm not sure how to deal with that. We are very, very close and always have been. I am with them all the time, as is the family tradition. My daughter visits on holidays and they always loved it. Now I'm not sure that they even want her around and I don't know how to respond to this either. Not because of my family's feelings, but because of my own - I want my daughter to realize what she is getting herself into - the many people she will be hurting including herself, as they will not want to have anything to do with her. We are a large family - aunts, uncles, cousins - and they will not accept it, as I am not sure that I can either. What to do?

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califoniagrl08

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worried

February 25, 2008, 11:56 am PST

WHAT DO I DO?

HI, IM A BLACK AND CHEROKEE FEMALE DATING A WHITE GUY FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW. I LOVE HIM DEARLY. I'VE ALWAYS DATED WHITE GUYS AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME ACCECPTING A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS. WELL, IM HIS FIRST BLACK GIRL AND MOST OF HIS RELATIONSHIPS HAVENT LASTED MORE THAN 2 MONTHS. IVE DATED WHITE GUYS THATS NEVER DATED A BLACK GIRL BUT WANTED TO, BUT I FEEL WORRIED ABOUT THIS ONE. WHY? I DONT KNOW. HIS FAMILY I THINK IS OK WITH ME. HIS BROTHER IS SWEET AND HIS MOM IS AWESOME. BUT HIS DAD MAKES THESE LITTLE COMMENTS THAT I THINK HE DOESNT THINK I KNOW HE'S SAYIN THEM. MY BOYFRIEND I THINK, LOVES ME WITH ALL OF HIS HEART. BUT SINCE IM HIS FIRSY DO I HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THAT I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT?

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missmlm

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March 2, 2008, 4:08 pm PST

What's the problem?

Quote From: motherluv1

I have a daughter who is involved in an interracial relationship - she white, him black. My family has just recently learned of this relationship and are very, very disappointed, hurt, upset, and even worse - embarassed, and have no problem telling me so. Although I am not happy with the relationship - she is young - I am not embarassed by it. I am hurt and disappointed and cannot find myself to be a part of this type of situation, but not sure that I could tell my daughter to give up what obviously makes her happy - or at least she thinks she is. My family - I'm not sure how to deal with that. We are very, very close and always have been. I am with them all the time, as is the family tradition. My daughter visits on holidays and they always loved it. Now I'm not sure that they even want her around and I don't know how to respond to this either. Not because of my family's feelings, but because of my own - I want my daughter to realize what she is getting herself into - the many people she will be hurting including herself, as they will not want to have anything to do with her. We are a large family - aunts, uncles, cousins - and they will not accept it, as I am not sure that I can either. What to do?

Why is everyone so concerned that he is black? The color of someone's skin should never be an issue. What you should focus on is does he have good character, does he treat your daugher with respect, does he cherish her? It is hard for me to believe that in 2008 people are still stuck on racial issues. As for your family, shame on them for being embarassed. If your daughter is lucky enough to find someone that is a good partner and makes her happy, you should have the guts to support her.

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missmlm

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March 2, 2008, 4:46 pm PST

Vanilla and chocolate

Quote From: truth4u

No matter how many ways you mix it it still will not work. Vanilla and chocalate couples do not work.....STAY firm ladies there are to many men in the world to mix it up with someone you have NOTHING in commen with....

I realize this is an old message but I feel compelled to respond. How is it that in 2008 you remain totally ignorant? I don't know who came up with the idea that people that are different colors are different races. There is only one race, and that is the HUMAN race. All people are part of the HUMAN race. Color has no effect on the characteristics of the HUMAN race. We do, however, have the ability to use our brains to make educated and informed decisions rather than allow social histories from hundreds of years ago determine our thought processes. And by the way, vanilla and chocolate mix very deliciously!!! If you don't believe me, just buy yourself some vanilla and chocolate ice cream, mix them up, and ENJOY!

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coltsgirl47

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March 15, 2008, 3:33 pm PDT

Reply On truth4u message

Quote From: missmlm

I realize this is an old message but I feel compelled to respond. How is it that in 2008 you remain totally ignorant? I don't know who came up with the idea that people that are different colors are different races. There is only one race, and that is the HUMAN race. All people are part of the HUMAN race. Color has no effect on the characteristics of the HUMAN race. We do, however, have the ability to use our brains to make educated and informed decisions rather than allow social histories from hundreds of years ago determine our thought processes. And by the way, vanilla and chocolate mix very deliciously!!! If you don't believe me, just buy yourself some vanilla and chocolate ice cream, mix them up, and ENJOY!

hello to all who have read the one from truth4u, its funny how people will say things just to get a rise outta other people and I really believe thats exactly what this person has done, we have so many people in this world today there is just no room for this kind of thinking, there is nothing and I repeat nothing wrong with black & white mixing, & yes I am in a mixed relationship and yeah I have to agree vanilla & chocolate do go good together it makes for a nice cool snack anytime lol but as the old saying goes and I quote " Com'on People, Can't We All Just Get Along" Have A Wounderful Day!

P.S. Dr.Phil, Love your show! Your doin an awesome job!

I'm a fan 4-life!

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katabc123

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sad

March 28, 2008, 7:20 pm PDT

My boyfriends mother doesnt like me because i'm white with a baby

Hi my name is April,

I am a 25 year old white mother with a 2 year old child and i have been with this guy who is black and we both love each other and we plan to get married

But the there is a catch to this..I didnt know this until that that he has kept this from me for a while,we have been together for 7 months and we are sooooooooooooo happy,see my mother is married to a blk man

so here's the thing,my boyfriends mother doesnt like or want him to go out with a white woman who has a child and he knew for about 4 months and he is just telling me this now..My son calls him daddy and is attached to him

I would like some information or some tips on how should i talk to her or how he should talk to his own mother,he is 36 years old and still listens to his "mommy"..

Please help me and give me some tips or information on what i should do

april

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miizztriisha

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April 26, 2008, 7:13 pm PDT

Interracial Relationships

Quote From: motherluv1

I have a daughter who is involved in an interracial relationship - she white, him black. My family has just recently learned of this relationship and are very, very disappointed, hurt, upset, and even worse - embarassed, and have no problem telling me so. Although I am not happy with the relationship - she is young - I am not embarassed by it. I am hurt and disappointed and cannot find myself to be a part of this type of situation, but not sure that I could tell my daughter to give up what obviously makes her happy - or at least she thinks she is. My family - I'm not sure how to deal with that. We are very, very close and always have been. I am with them all the time, as is the family tradition. My daughter visits on holidays and they always loved it. Now I'm not sure that they even want her around and I don't know how to respond to this either. Not because of my family's feelings, but because of my own - I want my daughter to realize what she is getting herself into - the many people she will be hurting including herself, as they will not want to have anything to do with her. We are a large family - aunts, uncles, cousins - and they will not accept it, as I am not sure that I can either. What to do?

I think its so sad how selfish people can be. Its not about you. Its about what makes your daughter happy. You're entitled to your beliefs, but how dare you deny your daughter for a choice that isn't hurting anyone? People can get so stuck on what society thinks and whats normal that they lose touch with what matters most. You are her MOTHER. You are her protector. You're the one that should have her back when your family turns their backs on her. You gave birth to that girl. This is just ridiculous to me. I can't hardly believe that people are ashamed that of something that is such a small part of a person. This is 2008!! Get with the program. We all bleed red and we are all equal in God's eyes.

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Message Boards

Topic : Interracial Relationships

Hard Work

interacial is wonderful

hello

Unfamiliar territory

WHAT DO I DO?

What's the problem?

Vanilla and chocolate

Reply On truth4u message

My boyfriends mother doesnt like me because i'm white with a baby

Interracial Relationships