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Topic : Interracial Relationships

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Created on : Friday, September 15, 2006, 03:46:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Society has become more accepting towards relationships with someone of a different race. Is your family united, or divided over your interracial relationship? Share your story here.
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nelsonjon

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October 22, 2008, 3:10 am PDT

Not easy for a white man to meet a short black woman

Most African-American women (most women in general) are over 5-2. LOL.

nkscouting@gmail.com
 
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emamii19
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confused
October 28, 2008, 11:32 am PDT

I need some input please

I am a 19 female, italion, and light skinned.

Ever since i was 11 i have an effatuation with men that have a skin tone thats darker than mine. I remember being young, hanging out with freiends and while they were on the n'sync band wagon (which all members are white), i was fixed on Boys to Men ( who are an all black group). Well threw the years lots have people have made jokes about how i look at blck guys and they have told me it is just a phase, that i will get over it. Well in my mind when i look at a "white boy" per say I dont find one thing about him that is attractive. Not even his personality. But when i look at a guy "from a different backround i find them very attractive (not just in looks). See the problem here is i live at home with my Italion family, My mom, dad and granmother and although im very grateful to have a home to live in and a family they do not except the fact that i like guys from other backrounds.....

........ Can anyone give me advice as to how i should proceded ......,

 

p.s. it would be really appreciated
 
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s_myth
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chillin'
November 2, 2008, 1:53 am PDT

ive lived it my whole life

My family is as racialy diverse as it could possily get...my mothers white she married a black man and had my older brother and me. After that relationship ended she married a man who was Mexican and German and tall they had my 1st little brother my much taller little brother. That mariage didnt last either and she married a nice Mexican man with native american mixd in and i got a little sister and brother out of it. We dont even have the same religions Judeism, Mormonism, Catholism, Christianity, Kabala even Muslim for a period. We look like a random group of people when we all go out...My point is you can love who u want to love. I have a great family and in this day in age interracial relations shouldnt even be an issue anymore
 
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s_myth
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giddy
November 2, 2008, 1:57 am PDT

but not all

Quote From: nelsonjon

Most African-American women (most women in general) are over 5-2. LOL.

nkscouting@gmail.com
im  1/2 black 5'2' my fiance is 6' 5" and white i needed his hight to reach stuff
 
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s_myth
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hopeful
November 3, 2008, 10:26 pm PST

A half black girls view

Quote From: emamii19

I am a 19 female, italion, and light skinned.

Ever since i was 11 i have an effatuation with men that have a skin tone thats darker than mine. I remember being young, hanging out with freiends and while they were on the n'sync band wagon (which all members are white), i was fixed on Boys to Men ( who are an all black group). Well threw the years lots have people have made jokes about how i look at blck guys and they have told me it is just a phase, that i will get over it. Well in my mind when i look at a "white boy" per say I dont find one thing about him that is attractive. Not even his personality. But when i look at a guy "from a different backround i find them very attractive (not just in looks). See the problem here is i live at home with my Italion family, My mom, dad and granmother and although im very grateful to have a home to live in and a family they do not except the fact that i like guys from other backrounds.....

........ Can anyone give me advice as to how i should proceded ......,

 

p.s. it would be really appreciated

I sorta know what your goin threw im a dark girl that likes white men Ive never been attracted 2 dark men when everyone else was in 2 BoysIIMen i was into Nirvana. Black men ask me out all the time and ive always said no ,then they would call me a racist cuz im half white. I honestly think that the reason some of us are more interested in people outside our race is we have a sub-consious need to deepen the gene pool. Its a scientific fact if you marry ouside of your race the children have less of a chance of genetic disorders...ne way... I would ask them why its such a huge problem maybe its just fear of the unknown. Tell them that you love them and respect there opinion but ur growing up and you know how you feel not them. Ask them what would they have done if they were forced to be with someone they wernt at all interested in. I would really sit down with your mom and really talk it out and if your family is dead set against it maybe it is time to move out. Im not telling you to get in fight with them familys very important however so is your happiness....have you started seeing ne1 maybe if they got to know him in small doses they might change there minds...Please keep me posted id like to know if i can help more...good luck
 
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kyanal
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November 24, 2008, 12:57 pm PST

It's not so Black and White anymore

What I mean by the message of my title is not only am I in an interracial relationship, but my life is not so clear anymore.. I feel more gray lately. I am a caucasian female (age 21) and my boyfriend is an african-american male (age 28). We met when I was 17 and fell for each other fast. There was a lot of lying in the beginning and cheating too. I stopped cheating on him about 1.5 years ago. I have since found out about a female he was staying with for a while and he claims they were more roommates than anything but did have sex. I forgave him for that because he knew I had cheated so I couldn't hold him for something I committed myself. I was angry, depressed, hurt and completely confused though. But wait, not even a month later I found out a female was making him take a paternity test and it turned out the baby IS HIS. She named the baby after her boyfriend (first and last name) and never even thought the baby was my boyfriends until it turned out the other guy wasn't. She admits they only had sex twice which matches the story he told me. He has two kids already and I love and accept them both. However, he wants nothing to do with this baby that will be a year in December that we just found out about. I think I would resent him and the child if he did want to be a part of its life. The mother doesnt want him to be around either which works for me. There's a huge part of me that cannot move on from this. I feel bad for the child and I feel like this is the worst situation I've ever been in. To forgive cheating is one thing but this is one thing that's going to last the rest of our lives.  I don't know what to do and I don't know if I should be okay with this or not. He says he loves me and wants to be with me and is really sorry he's done the things he has and has proclaimed it will never happen again. I believe him but am I stupid? We've been together over four years and BOTH have cheated. I am 100% committed and have been for a long time. He says he's not been with anyone since her (which was 19ish months ago now). What do I do? I love this man with my whole existance. I'm just really hurt that there is a baby involved. He doesn't want her (the baby) and in a way like I said, I am glad because if he did, it'd be over. I just can't help but to think it will be on his mind for the rest of his life. Did I also mention that my dream was to have his first daughter? I am adopted and being a mother is my biggest dream :( I apologize that this is poorly written but I am just a ball of emotions and am just typing faster than I can even process my thoughts.
 
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mp1970
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December 4, 2008, 4:38 am PST

difficult relationship!!!!

Many years ago I was in an interracial relationship. I am hispanic and my partner at that time was black. Well, we have 2 children from this relationship that are now 16 and 18, and we separated within a year after I had my 2nd daughter. Now, I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost 4yrs, and it bothers him that my children are of mixed races. . He feels as if my children do not like him because he is white. I think this is ridiculous since they associate more with my side of the family than their fathers side. It has always been a closed discussion between the 2 of us until recently. Well, my daughter was on the phone having and he overheard something said and assumed she was talking about him. The whole thing was blown up bigger than what it should be and he stormed into the livingroom how no one respects him in this house and he has not done anything to anyone but if he was black then everyone would love him in this house. I think this was ridiculous and this is going to be the end of our relationship. My younger daughter was having a difficult time adjusting to our relationship and now he just made the whole situation worse.

Has anyone gone through this same situation. I would like to hear input from anyone.

 
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hotdiana23
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chillin'
December 5, 2008, 10:29 pm PST

Just sad..

Hi ..i`m a caucasian female, 23 years from Romania, living and working in Sudan now. I looooove my dad..i mean i really adore him and he`s everything 2 me, specially since my mom died & he`s the only 1 i`ve got. Don`t get me wrong but sometimes he`s killing me!! He`s not just rasist..he`s ...i don`t know..he`s making me crazy.  I had a relationship with a guy here ..he`s not light skinned .. (he`s black) and i swear everytime we went out i was so afraid someone is going 2 see me & tell my dad. I really couldn`t tell him that i`m dating this guy .. everything was more than ok between us but i had 2 breakup with him because of my dad. He would never NEVER agree to have a black guy in the family ..he would kill me first..&him...This is really sad specially because i`m really starting to think like him...
 
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albramast
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December 10, 2008, 1:35 pm PST

Interracial Relationships

Quote From: kyanal

What I mean by the message of my title is not only am I in an interracial relationship, but my life is not so clear anymore.. I feel more gray lately. I am a caucasian female (age 21) and my boyfriend is an african-american male (age 28). We met when I was 17 and fell for each other fast. There was a lot of lying in the beginning and cheating too. I stopped cheating on him about 1.5 years ago. I have since found out about a female he was staying with for a while and he claims they were more roommates than anything but did have sex. I forgave him for that because he knew I had cheated so I couldn't hold him for something I committed myself. I was angry, depressed, hurt and completely confused though. But wait, not even a month later I found out a female was making him take a paternity test and it turned out the baby IS HIS. She named the baby after her boyfriend (first and last name) and never even thought the baby was my boyfriends until it turned out the other guy wasn't. She admits they only had sex twice which matches the story he told me. He has two kids already and I love and accept them both. However, he wants nothing to do with this baby that will be a year in December that we just found out about. I think I would resent him and the child if he did want to be a part of its life. The mother doesnt want him to be around either which works for me. There's a huge part of me that cannot move on from this. I feel bad for the child and I feel like this is the worst situation I've ever been in. To forgive cheating is one thing but this is one thing that's going to last the rest of our lives.  I don't know what to do and I don't know if I should be okay with this or not. He says he loves me and wants to be with me and is really sorry he's done the things he has and has proclaimed it will never happen again. I believe him but am I stupid? We've been together over four years and BOTH have cheated. I am 100% committed and have been for a long time. He says he's not been with anyone since her (which was 19ish months ago now). What do I do? I love this man with my whole existance. I'm just really hurt that there is a baby involved. He doesn't want her (the baby) and in a way like I said, I am glad because if he did, it'd be over. I just can't help but to think it will be on his mind for the rest of his life. Did I also mention that my dream was to have his first daughter? I am adopted and being a mother is my biggest dream :( I apologize that this is poorly written but I am just a ball of emotions and am just typing faster than I can even process my thoughts.

The one thing that concerns me is that he can "pretend" a child doesn't exist. As hard as it is to deal with, I don't think I could love a man who is able to ignore the childs existence. That alone would be a deal breaker.
 
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theren7
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happy
December 10, 2008, 1:48 pm PST

Interracial Marriage

I am a black woman married to a white man.  We've been married for three years.  He is such a supportive. loving, and caring husband. 

 

When I introduced him to my family, I received a different, but respectful response from them.  They had to  grow to understand and accept our relationship.  Of the many family members that I have, there was one aunt that just couldn't understand the relationship at all.  I must say, "I'm from Mississippi."  In my opinion, interracial dating/marriage isn't really understood by SOME southerns.  For many of them, I think it is past experiences in which they have based their opinions.  For others, my belief is that they would rather stay with what is familiar to them.  After setting aside her thoughts, I must say, "My aunt loves him to death."
 
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