Topic : Interracial Relationships

I have been in that situation before. I am black and engaged to a man who is northern italian/scot-irish. Don't listen to what others say about you. You are not turning you back on the black race. That's your preference and dont let ignorance get in the way.

I think you should listen to your heart and go for it. I am a black young lady engaged to a northern-italian/scot-irish man. Don't let ignorance get in the way of true love and happiness. I got the same comments from some of my own family members. Love has no color. Let me leave you with a famous quote "Be thine true to yourself".

My fiance and I are engaged.  Most of my family accepts it. But, there are two individuals that are not accepting and it hurts. One individual calls me "Oreo cookie" and other hateful names. How do you deal with ignorance so bad it makes you cry yourself to sleep

I'm 20 years old and I recently entered into a deeply throught out interracial relationship. I'm white and my boyfriend is black. He'd been a very good friend of mine for four years prior to us dating each other so my family had met him more than once.  He and I have always been attracted to each other but we never dated because of either personal conflicts or because of my family.  When my father found out that I was thinking about dating him he kicked me out of the house.  He told me that if I was going to "disrespect him like that" then I could live somewhere else.  He then proceded to kick my twin sister out of the house for supporting my decision.  Thus (long story short) we moved out and I started dating him 'under the radar' because many people in my family wouldn't accept it.  My mom knows, but she's like, "Don't tell your father!  Don't tell your grandpa!  Don't tell your aunt!  Don't tell *insert many more here*". My poor mother... stuck in the middle of all this trying to keep a very unstable peace.

It didn't matter to my father that I was a good daughter.  It didn't matter to him that I'm going to be a Paramedic before I'm 21 and that I save lives for a living/in my free time instead of party or doing drugs.  It didn't matter to him that I started college at 16, that I don't drink or smoke, and that I always let them know where I was when I went out.  It didn't matter to him that I was only working part-time while I was in college full-time when he kicked me out and it would be nearly impossible to support myself.  It didn't matter to him because his prejudice was more important then his own daughter.

I still love my father but I'm standing my ground.  I know he didn't expect me to make it on my own and truly it would have been hard without my sister by my side.  I know he didn't expect us to say, "fine. We don't want to live in a house with someone who can hate someone for the way they were born and that be the ONLY reason. "  I know he'll never come around to accepting my boyfriend and truly, it is his loss.  I'm sorry that I lost my home and my father to this but I can't imagine living in a home where someone can hate someone who makes their daughter happy... for their mere skin color when they sat down once and had dinner with them.  We all bleed the same color but some people don't understand that.

I hate my family isn't able to share in my happiness just because my boyfriend is black.  Sometimes I regret my decision because I miss my home and my family, but then I think about how when I'm with my boyfriend he helps me forget all the terrible things I see working on the ambulance.  Sometimes you just have to stand your ground and fight for what you believe in, no matter how badly it can hurt.  You have to keep looking at the light instead of falling behind into the darkness.

I'd like to express my personal story to anyone that visits this subject of Interracial relationships.  Maybe it will shed a bit of light to your questions and thoughts.

If you'll note, I used embarrassed as an emote because I am for this subject at least embarrassed to be an American.  I am ex military and have lived and dated in many countries.  My view was "When in Rome"  so I dated the nationalities of the areas be it  Asian, German, English, Turkish, whatever.  I never  looked at it as anything other me dating women, not ethnic backgrounds.  I say that to say this.  In the 12 years I have lived overseas, not one woman ever saw me as a Black guy.  I was an American, period.   There were some women that I now see I should have married instead of waiting to come back to the US of A. single.  Trust me when I say, I am kicking myself all over town because when I moved back here to the US, needless to say, my interests in women were of another nationality, not just White, or Asian, just a different nationality.  I have never noticed just how prejudice this country is until I moved back here and started trying to date here.  It is one of the most, childish and ignorant displays of stupidity over what a persons color is I have ever experienced. 

I’ve been back here for 13 years now and I am still single.  And I am employed in Oklahoma (Bible Belt) which is definitely NOT a plus.   So for any of you that get involved in an interracial relationship.  You WILL have discontentment from others.  There is nothing you can do, say, or show to change these people.  A closed mind is a closed mind.  Funny thing is, I doubt seriously if anyone in the US, or the world for that matter is without some type of racial mix.  If you look at the history of the World, there has been ethnic mixing for thousands of years.  Unfortunately, people in this country only see skin color, and someone that looks White, can easily have Black, or Asian, or who knows what in there family tree.  I know there is white in my family tree but my skin pigment is all anyone will ever see.  I wish you lick, learn patience, learn to ignore the ignorant, be there for the other as you will have to work harder to make things work.  Especially if one is White, and the other is Black.  That mix seems to be the big trouble causer.  I have dated Asian here, and have never been looked at twice, I've date white, and double takes and stares are the norm when we were in public.  All I can really say to you is prepare yourself because the hassles are going to be there. 

How much of this situation are you owning?  How badly did you hurt your family when you annoucned that you were dating or going to marry a black man?  What did you say to yourself that made it alright  to get  the attitude that "I am part of your family and you can just get over it"?  You are the one that crossed over the line and caused all the hurt in your family.