Topic : Interracial Relationships

I have been in an interracial relationship for almost two years now.  My family was upset that we were together and now that we are engaged they have become divided on this issue.  My brother and sister-in-law talk badly about me behind my back and have used my nephews as pawns, stating that I'm not allowed to see them as long as I'm engaged to a black man.  My mother and I have not spoken in five monthes and she has no problem stating that I'm not a good daughter since I haven't broken up with him.  The rest of my family is not as out-spoken about the issue, but don't mind standing to the side while my family is falling apart because of this interracial relationship. 

What do I do to patch things up with my family?  How do I get my family to realize that it doesn't matter what color he is?

I am an Carib-african-american women of multiple ethnicities (including Irish).  Although I don't consider myself a racist, I have been called one on several occassions simply because I ask the question: Why are white women constantly going after black men?  I only ask this because I see it often & don't mean it to be a sterotype.  And then, when I pose the question, I am labeled "ignorant", "stupid", "racist", "angry", and "jealous".  Yet, a white woman can talk about it all day long and no one says BOO!

Many times I have posted the question in forums only to get an answer like "because they are better in bed" or some other asinine answer which only perpetuates the sterotype that white women go after black men for sexual reasons.  Recently, I started a forum on another site asking the question and white men & white women alike came after me with burning "cyber" crosses hollering racism.  I was even told that if I was classier, more educated, and more beautiful, I could keep my black man.  Frankly, I have never lost a black man to a white woman nor have any of my black friends (that I know of) and I find it sad that when we ask a question about the issue, we are taunted and shunned.  Yet, I read discussions such as these and realize that racism does exist and mostly its in the families of these women or their friends. 

You can't have it both ways.  You can't claim that you love black men and then run around calling his counterpart racist and less than a white woman.  What does that say about your black man's mother, sister, aunt, etc.?

Why are black women always the ones in the wrong when it comes to asking the obvious question when it comes to inter-racial relationships?  Why are black women always reduced to being jealous, ignorant, or less than a white woman because we want to know why they are so interested in our men?  And I use the term "our" for lack of a better word...not for possession reasons.

I am an Carib-african-american women of multiple ethnicities (including Irish).  Although I don't consider myself a racist, I have been called one on several occassions simply because I ask the question: Why are white women constantly going after black men?  I only ask this because I see it often & don't mean it to be a sterotype.  And then, when I pose the question, I am labeled "ignorant", "stupid", "racist", "angry", and "jealous".  Yet, a white woman can talk about it all day long and no one says BOO!

Many times I have posted the question in forums only to get an answer like "because they are better in bed" or some other asinine answer which only perpetuates the sterotype that white women go after black men for sexual reasons.  Recently, I started a forum on another site asking the question and white men & white women alike came after me with burning "cyber" crosses hollering racism.  I was even told that if I was classier, more educated, and more beautiful, I could keep my black man.  Frankly, I have never lost a black man to a white woman nor have any of my black friends (that I know of) and I find it sad that when we ask a question about the issue, we are taunted and shunned.  Yet, I read discussions such as these and realize that racism does exist and mostly its in the families of these women or their friends. 

You can't have it both ways.  You can't claim that you love black men and then run around calling his counterpart racist and less than a white woman.  What does that say about your black man's mother, sister, aunt, etc.?

Why are black women always the ones in the wrong when it comes to asking the obvious question when it comes to inter-racial relationships?  Why are black women always reduced to being jealous, ignorant, or less than a white woman because we want to know why they are so interested in our men?  And I use the term "our" for lack of a better word...not for possession reasons.

White women can talk about this all day long and no one says BOO because it is their issue. It is similar to a Jewish person talking about the negative reactions of others upon learning they are Jewish; they can talk about it because it is THEIR issue; or a lesbian talking about the issues she faces on a daily basis- she can talk about it because it is HER reality.

Your question, Why are white women constantly going after black men? is offensive on many levels. Just the way that you have asked it- using the word constantly insinuates that ALL white women use their free time to pursue black men; it just isnt true. Perhaps if you pose your question in a different way, you will receive more positive feedback. I can understand why people would quickly assume that you are ignorant, jealous and a racist because of the way you pose your question. If you truly are curious to know why some white women prefer black men, consider re-phrasing your question. I suggest something like, To any white female in a relationship with a black male- what is it that attracted you to him?

Hello everyone,

   I am writing this message board because I need some sound, rational, and good advice.  Here goes...I am a 32 years old African American single parent and I am interested in this 33 years old divorced single parent Latino guy.  The interesting thing about us.  I used to be his assistant branch manager for one of the local banks.  At the time, I started being interested in him, his divorce process began.  He was very hurt, bitter and angry behind his break up with his wife.  I just consoled him as a friend.  One day I thought that maybe we could pursue a relationship but his anger and bitterness was too blinding for him to see me as a potential mate so I just stayed my distance looking from afar.  Four years later, we are still communicating and talking as friends; however, I would like to get to the dating part.  I would like to pursue a lasting relationship with him.  I guess you could say I have had a four year crush and I am ready for him to know about it.  I just do not know how to tell him.  In my state, interracial dating is somewhat accepted but for the white women to date other races not usually black women.  So I am stuck because I have a preconceived notion as to what he may think especially since he was one married to a white female.  How do I let him know that he could have a great relationship with me?