Quote From: asura_sotosuriI'm 20 years old and I recently entered into a deeply throught out interracial relationship. I'm white and my boyfriend is black. He'd been a very good friend of mine for four years prior to us dating each other so my family had met him more than once. He and I have always been attracted to each other but we never dated because of either personal conflicts or because of my family. When my father found out that I was thinking about dating him he kicked me out of the house. He told me that if I was going to "disrespect him like that" then I could live somewhere else. He then proceded to kick my twin sister out of the house for supporting my decision. Thus (long story short) we moved out and I started dating him 'under the radar' because many people in my family wouldn't accept it. My mom knows, but she's like, "Don't tell your father! Don't tell your grandpa! Don't tell your aunt! Don't tell *insert many more here*". My poor mother... stuck in the middle of all this trying to keep a very unstable peace.
It didn't matter to my father that I was a good daughter. It didn't matter to him that I'm going to be a Paramedic before I'm 21 and that I save lives for a living/in my free time instead of party or doing drugs. It didn't matter to him that I started college at 16, that I don't drink or smoke, and that I always let them know where I was when I went out. It didn't matter to him that I was only working part-time while I was in college full-time when he kicked me out and it would be nearly impossible to support myself. It didn't matter to him because his prejudice was more important then his own daughter.
I still love my father but I'm standing my ground. I know he didn't expect me to make it on my own and truly it would have been hard without my sister by my side. I know he didn't expect us to say, "fine. We don't want to live in a house with someone who can hate someone for the way they were born and that be the ONLY reason. " I know he'll never come around to accepting my boyfriend and truly, it is his loss. I'm sorry that I lost my home and my father to this but I can't imagine living in a home where someone can hate someone who makes their daughter happy... for their mere skin color when they sat down once and had dinner with them. We all bleed the same color but some people don't understand that.
I hate my family isn't able to share in my happiness just because my boyfriend is black. Sometimes I regret my decision because I miss my home and my family, but then I think about how when I'm with my boyfriend he helps me forget all the terrible things I see working on the ambulance. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground and fight for what you believe in, no matter how badly it can hurt. You have to keep looking at the light instead of falling behind into the darkness.
You know, when I first began reading this post I was shocked. I thought I might have written this myself; the situation was very close to my heart. It was so relatable, I'm 19 and recently entered a relationship with my black boyfriend who had been my good friend for some years. The part that really struck close to home was reading about your habits growing up in your home. I, too, went to college young, at 15 and will graduate with my Bachelor's before I'm 21. Never did drugs or smoked, spent my time shaping a future for myself. And yet, a black boyfriend was enough to push all of my attributes to the backburner. It was enough for my father to treat me like I hadn't a clue about the world I was a part of, as if I had never displayed any character or awareness of the world and the people in it. I, too, understand what it is like to have someone tell you, "oh, don't tell your father....grandfather...grandmother...." It is painful and can only be eased by the one you love, but it never disappears. I wanted to say this to let you know that it apparently is not a rare situation and though it hurts, this is what it looks like when the world is undergoing a changing mentality. We are the ones carrying change on our callused backs, keeping focused, reminaing just and looking forward for the those who remain clinging to the past. I personally hate feeling like a liar when I tell my family I was "out with a friend" when really I was with my boyfriend, i hate facing the people that brought me to this world and nurtured me while I know their view of the world is a twisted one. I never got kicked out of my house, I tried telling my dad about this guy when everything first started. My dad got completely out of control and I made the decision to keep my relationship a secret instead of facing my father. (I knew he wouldn't kick me out, instead, my dad would keep me in the house and become hellbent on never having me see my boyfriend again- that wasnt going to happen). But in the very end, it is ourselves that we must remain true to and love. The others will either come around eventually or suffer silently in the misery of their twisted convictions. In the end, as I said before, we must bear the weight gradual change throws on our shoulders. Only the courageous and the strong have the power to bear this weight..... i try my best to feel honored that I, and others like myself, are willing to push through the hardest and tallest of walls.
