Topic : Interracial Relationships

Your husband is from Kenya - where there is only black people and there has been no Civil Rights Movement - no Apartheid. To him Africa is a continent. Everywhere else on the globe where there is black people - ALL of African decent, they were taken there violently - for hundreds of years. Africans were taken to South American as slaves, to the Carribean as slaves to America as slaves. In every case after slavery - a subsociety and treated as such.

There are African Americans, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, Haitians, etc. ALL of African decent but VERY different language, cultures and "blended" with various other races in each place over hundreds of years. Black in the US doesn't mean African - it means African American - black people in America.

Your husband has no insight into how African Americans should view themselves because he doesn't know African American (Black) culture. Your comment....

 "I mean if speaking proper english and having manners is "acting white" then what is "acting black?" ...

Sounds racist.  YOU associate bad english and bad manners with black people.  The "black people" who said your husband doesn't act black are right - how can he and how would he when he is NOT from our Black culture? He's Kenyan! He should get over saying black people should just say they are American - it's offensive and dismissive, though I am sure neither of you intends that or understands that it is.

Also your comment..."I think when everyone in this country starts realizing that we are all americans not anything hypenated then it will be alittle better place to live."

- From a "Black " person's perspective is also a bit dismissive.  Why are you directing this at Black people?  If all "Americans" were TREATED the same - if African Americans WERE treated the same as Caucasians - there would be no NEED for the hyphens.

Hi,

I am 20 and I have been dating my best friend for about a year now, he is great, we have so much fun together and I love him so much. It makes me so happy to think about my futur with him and someday marrying him and being with him forever. However, there is one problem, he is Muslim and I have been raised Catholic.  I didn't think this would be a problem because Muslims are allowed to marry Catholic girls, but the problem becomes very clear when we started discussing raising kids one day. My boyfriends religion means alot to him, and I wouldn't want him to pick between me and his religion, but how is it possible for me to raise my kids Muslim if  I don't have the same beliefs?? What would I say to my child when he or she asks "Mom, why do I have to pray 5 times a day?" How am I suppose to tell my kids to do something I don't even believe in?

If anyone has any comments or suggestions please let me know. I don't know what to do anymore. I love my boyfriend, but I'm afraid we might be wasting our time togehter if we think already that we can't raise kids together!

What should I do?

thanks

Jackie

I think that it is so cute that you found happiness with your best friend!  This is a good foundation for a lasting romantic relationship.  Good luck to you!

You should probably either convert to your boyfriends religion or learn enough about it so that you can help teach your children.  And just support your boyfriend in his efforts to teach your children.

Hi,

I am 20 and I have been dating my best friend for about a year now, he is great, we have so much fun together and I love him so much. It makes me so happy to think about my futur with him and someday marrying him and being with him forever. However, there is one problem, he is Muslim and I have been raised Catholic.  I didn't think this would be a problem because Muslims are allowed to marry Catholic girls, but the problem becomes very clear when we started discussing raising kids one day. My boyfriends religion means alot to him, and I wouldn't want him to pick between me and his religion, but how is it possible for me to raise my kids Muslim if  I don't have the same beliefs?? What would I say to my child when he or she asks "Mom, why do I have to pray 5 times a day?" How am I suppose to tell my kids to do something I don't even believe in?

If anyone has any comments or suggestions please let me know. I don't know what to do anymore. I love my boyfriend, but I'm afraid we might be wasting our time togehter if we think already that we can't raise kids together!

What should I do?

thanks

Jackie

My fiance is white and I'm black and they HATE us together! We first got together in Decemeber of 2003 and the moment they found out that I was black, they disowned him. And oh god, they hadn't even met me yet. Then when they finally did, they said I was nice and I ended up moving in with him and his family for a while and for about 9 months, things went great. But then we decided to move about 500 miles away next to my family, and now they hate me with a passion. Now, they call me a golddigger, a n***er, a whore, they tell him that I used to cheat while I lived there and I really didn't. And now, I'm pregnant with his child and they told him it's not even his. Now he wants a blood test when the baby is born, and he's always accusing me for stuff I never even did.

Because of course, to make this story worse, he's kind of a Momma's boy, and I use the words 'kind of' for lack of better words. He listens to everything she says and then he's always stressed out when she gets mad at him for doing stuff for me that he didn't do for her. She's like a little manipulator and he just won't grow up and get it through his head that he's going to be a father soon and he can't keep picking her over us. It's soooo annoying.

*takes a deep breath*

Please, someone. Give me some advice on what I should do.

I wanted to take this to the show, but he said he didn't know if his mom and sisters would agree to it.