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Topic : Interracial Relationships

Number of Replies: 214
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 15, 2006, 03:46:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Society has become more accepting towards relationships with someone of a different race. Is your family united, or divided over your interracial relationship? Share your story here.

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February 9, 2007, 11:10 pm CST

Hello...

Quote From: itsjustlife22

I am a white female and have really only dated black males. I am more attracted to them and in general have connected better with the black men that i have met over the other races. I am SO blessed because my entire family (with the exception of my grandmother) is completely supportive of this. I am glad that I come from a family and have friends that truely value what is on the inside and not by the color of someone's skin. I know there are people who disprove of this however I try and point these people in the right direction. Skin is skin - underneath we have the same parts. Differences also should be cherished, not frowned upon. No one should be judged by anything, but definitely not based on appearance. There is so much to the human mind, body, and soul that not being able to see past the color of someone's skin is one of the saddest things I have ever heard in my life. I will encourage my daughter (who is black and white) to date any good man that she finds despite the color of his skin or what he looks like. I hope that as I get older and watch new generations begin to date and grow up that they will be less and less racist and judgemental.

you have expressed some admirable sentiments such as hoping new generations begin to date and grow up and that they will be less and less racist and judgmental.  However, that is entirely negated by your first statement that you have "really only dated black males".  You say "Noone should be judged by anything, but definitely not based on appearance".  Isn't that in fact exactly what you are doing, if you have only really dated black men???? 

 

I do agree with all your sentiments about - differences should be cherished and noone should be judged and the wish that our daughters will date any good man, despite the color of his skin or what he looks like.  You should practice what you preach though.  IMO you are not doing so if you allow your innate attraction to black men to prevent you from being open to dating men of ALL races.  You may well come back and say you are in fact open to that, but your words here have not said you are. 

 

We all have innate preferences as far as the physicality of mates - and should recognize them.  Recognize them, but don't ever allow them to let us close our minds to the possibility that someone who does not meet said preference would be a wonderful companion.  :)  Roxy

 
February 11, 2007, 4:11 pm CST

guys help me out what do you think

Quote From: poojah

i am white my wife is american she is white my son he is white thing is ive been married three yrs going on 4yrs now and we just argue all the time just dont see eye to eye on anything we cant even talk about our problems she doesnt listen to anything i say and she wants to go home to america what should i do as im so unhappy and just want to find happiness any suggestions you may have would love to here i have female friends and i seem to be able to comunicate better with them than my wife
guys help me out what do you think. help me out here. orshould i give up on relationship smiles suzy q
 
February 12, 2007, 2:59 pm CST

mixed relationships

I believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with interracial dating. I come from a mixed background. The only concern i have with mixed dating her marriage is the fact that you must know your significant other very well and you must know their cultures and be willing to make that apart of your culture and your way of life. Because down the road those very things may conflict with eachother and cause many problems and awkard situations.But if you truly love eachother and are wiling to make it work then there is nothing wrong with two people loving eachother from different races. I have a boyfriend who is full cape verdian - born and raised there but came to america when he was five years old. I on the other hand am half colombian and half portuguese, italian and american. I was raised here and half my family was raised in colombia, south america. I met my boyfriend at a capeverdian church and i personally love their culture and everything about them. My boyfriend understands my culture both spanish and american and loves me for who I am. I do not see the need tohate interracial marriages but i do see why people are cautious when considering to be in one.
 
February 14, 2007, 1:30 pm CST

Interracial Relationships

I am a very white american and my husband is a very Arab Lebanese man. People have told me so many horror stories about arabs, but my husband has more character and more respect for me than anyone I have ever met in my life. He has a strong culture and we struggle over cultural issues, but we are SO happily married and I can't wait to have children with him and teach them about both our cultures. We need to really get over our predisposed ideas of people based on their colors and enjoy other people! Different backgrounds just enrich the relationship SO much!
 
February 14, 2007, 5:02 pm CST

Why Does sometimes it seem so bad?

I myself am also in an interracial relationship. I'm from Greece and my mate is from the Carribean. I take a strong pride in my heritage and he sometimes does hahaha. But sometimes when we're out, say at a restaurant with one of his "white" friends they always put me and his bill together and leave my boyfriends. I've gotten into so many fights over this. People always just assume we're not together or they stare when we're together. What's wrong with some people? We look identical!!We dress in the same style! We listen to the same kind of music, watch the same kind of tv, enjoy the same kind of movies! And still, people think it's so horrible because he's black and I look pretty "white" haha. Well maybe one day the world will stop caring?
 
February 14, 2007, 11:54 pm CST

Insecure Marriage

I've been in an interracial marriage for 31 years.  We have 4 kids.  I'm white and my husband is black.  I don't feel comfortable because he has cheated on me with black women, so I wonder if he's not attracted to me.  He seems OK with the kids (2 are grown), but I have that feeling that he is embarassed of us.  We don't do things together.  He has his friends he hangs with, and I have mine.  I don't know alot about what he does when he's not at home.
 
February 15, 2007, 7:47 am CST

Interracial Relationships

First post, so first I'll introduce myself... I'm Lonneke, and I'm from Holland(so excuse me if my spelling ain't that good:P), I saw this thread and i just had 2 write something...

I have 2 say that I love interracial relationships... Personally because I have more with darker man, like arab/ turkish etc... sound weird but I seriously cannot help it... but also, because then you can see other cultures... I mean, like with the islam and all, people think all muslim men are bad and evil to women and their wives.. but how I know them, they love, they care, they support and they respect. I know this ain't the case in all interracial relationships... especially muslim ones.... So it makes people see the other sides of cultures... I have had a couple of of muslim boyfriends and I have a lot of muslim friends, I have not ever felt that much respect from a man. And I wouldn't go any other way.

I just get so frustrated when people come up 2 me and ask me if i am being beaten or if they make me wear a headscarf/ kerchief/ burka or whatever. I have not ever had these kind of experiences with men from different cultures... now, for the 'western men' I know, THEY have not ever treaten me with respect, they are the ones that have beaten, called me names, touched me... so, I think people can learn a lot of these kind of relationships and cultures.

Not saying all realtionships were/(are) good with other cultures. I mean you should be respectful if it just is too different and sometimes it is better to stick with ur own kind, but I think it makes people be more openminded about the whole world and other people. It makes people see futher than their own little box. Still, it is a choise to make for ur own... But i love it!

 
February 15, 2007, 10:51 pm CST

My boyfriend & I

Hello!

 

My name is Mary and I am 18 years old. I am currently in an interracial relationship. I am Hispanic (specifically Dominican) and my boyfriend is White. At first everything was going well with us and I had no idea his parents would disapprove of our relationship. They never tell him that they don't want him dating me but he knows that, particularly his mom, doesn't want him with me. It hurts a lot because he excludes me from family gatherings and special events.  I've never met anyone outside of his home and I still haven't met his brother. We love each other so much and it's really unexplainable. His mom isn't really open to me and is always judging me behind my back. She only has these judgments because she really doesn't know me. I really am a nice person and very caring of others. It's really hard because I've never had to deal with my previous boyfriends' parents disliking me. Mostly because they actually got to know me. We've been through a lot but sometimes it frustrates me a lot. My family is really open and approving of the relationship. Everyone wants to meet him and they really want to get to know him. We never really thought of our relationship as an interracial relationship until we noticed his parents' and society's reaction. Even as we walk through the mall we get disturbing stares and cruel remarks. I have always been strong and I am going to stay strong. I won't allow other people determine if our relationship is okay or not! I know we belong together otherwise he would have never walked into my life. We make each other complete and I hope this message will help others be strong. Always remember that problems can occur in every relationship, interracial or not, and that making it through only makes you a stronger person. When I walk through the mall or any public place and notice people's awkward stares, I hold my boyfriend's hands tighter and deal with it. They are just ignorant and don't know that we are all one creation and one race- The Human Race. We should just all unite and realize the good in everyone! : )

 
February 19, 2007, 1:51 pm CST

What is wrong with me

I am a 34 yr old black woman who is fed up with dating black men because in my opinion they dont know how to treat a woman  and show her respect.  I am so desirous of dating a white male but in my country a black man can date a white woman and it is ok but for a black woman to date a white man there are all sorts of comments and they hurt.  Can i have your help?  What should i do go with my heart or listen to these ppl who are still living in the past.
 
February 21, 2007, 8:54 am CST

DIVIDED WE STAND

My husband of 12 years and I have always been at odds with my son and his daughter, both 30 years old, and both from previous marriages.  My son is married with 2 children, and his daughter is single.  Here are some current examples of my concerns.

  1. I love the holidays and go out of my way to cook, decorate and entertain family.  Thanksgiving produced a realization that absolutely blew me away.  My husband and his family sat at one table, and my family sat at another.  I stood in the middle of the room and felt....................The next day I went out and purchased an extremely large dinning room table and chairs to ensure that that would never happen again.  Unfortunately, no one wants to do a sit down meal, preferring finger foods and my husbands says it is no big deal to him.
  2. My husbands birthday was 2/19 and his daughter gave him the following card.  On the cover is a picture of Bill Clinton and Dick Chaney.  Chaney is saying "Bill, interested in doing a little hunting this weekend?"  Clinton says "Sounds good!"  Open the card and Chaney says "Oh yeah, bring the wife!"  AIM to have a great Birthday!

Just a few examples of what I am exposed to on a reoccurring basis.  Should I be upset, hurt, or concerned?  What do you think?

 
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