Topic : Interracial Relationships

Hi,

I have just read your message,and I would advice you to be very careful about your daughter's boyfriend.Unfortunately I am talking from personal experience,my ex husband had the same behavior and his violence escalated so much that when I was pregnant he was kicking me in my stomach.

I decided to leave him ,my son is now 10 yrs old,he is a very nice,well behaved,bright young boy,he does well in school and I am glad I have not let his violent father in his life,because I know for sure he would have ruined my son emotionally and physically.

I was finally granted divorce and fully custody of my son from the court.

If a man is nasty and violent towards the mother of his child and he doesn't have any respect for her,how can you honestly say that he is a good father?

His child will start to grow and soon or later witness his bad behavior towards his/her mum...how do you think the child will feel?

This boyfriend is not good enough,how can he keep a baby out at night until 1.00 am.What sort of dad is that?

Get him out of your daughter's life as soon as you can........before it's too late.I moved country in order for my son not to being in contact with his "sperm donor".that's how I refer to him.He is not good enough to be called "dad".

Good luck to your daughter and her baby.

I am perplexed by your question.I am white,my husband is black and we have 2 beautiful children.But for the love of me I don't understand,why you even care about white women choice of men......so what if some white women are in love with black men,the world is a mixing pot.

Anyone can fall in love with whoever they choose.......and yes you were wrong to use the term "our " men,because no one owns anyone,we are all free human beings.

I can honestly say that I don't have time to look at who black women choose to date,neither I have time to check on white women/Spanish women /Chinese women.......and so on......I am too busy with my work,kids,home,friends......that to look at who is dating who?

Honduran and I am white.  That so far has not been an issue, i mean NOTHING has been and issue, it has been going GREAT; but am i headed for trouble here? 

Thanks in advance for all you comments.

THank you.

i think nobody can answer that question. i am in a relationship with a man way older than me, and it's been over a year now. he has been the best thing that happened to me in probably my whole life. and i don't know if this will ladt for the rest of our lives, or if it will end next year, but i've had a wonderfull time, that i will always be able to look back on. so i'd say if it's going great, just give it a try. my boyfriend is also a very good normal friend of mine, so we can have fun doing things that you would do with normal friends. and if you have that kind of a relationship too, and you can talk to him, i think there is a very good base for a long lasting relationship. keep talking also about minor issues, so they won't grow big, and HAVE FUN!

good luck,

annemiek

thank you VERY much for your response.  I do like the fact that we are friends first and we do talk alot about what is going on, our feelings and where this could possibly go.  I have been married twice and have two kids, it worries me that I will be taking his youth away from him.  He adores me though, why would i NOT want that right now in my life. 

Thanks again for the advise.

I am a single female who has always dated my own race. For 31 years. I never went outside my own race. Why? I have NO idea. I am attracted to a man who is decent, has morals and values, family oriented and so forth and so on. Why stop at my own race? This could be ANY man. So, In the past 4 years, I decided to do just that. I have dated some very intelligent and exciting men, who just happend to be black. I really didn't focus on their race at all. But, what I did find (for myself personally) is that this great race of men, are gems to be unveiled. I find them to be very supportive, open-minded, more spiritual, attentive to the needs and desires of a woman, are more in tune with their woman, and know just what to do without asking. I see more qualities (that i seek personally) in these men, than my own race. I also have found my family to be very accepting of any man I have introduced them to, and we all get along fine. As far as my family is concerned, as long as I am HAPPY and he treats me well? It is all good, and welcome to our family! Do not let others dictate who you are attracted to. If for some reason, you have never dated outside your race, try it. No one said you HAD to stay with it. But, you may just find yourself on the "flip" side of the coin. One never knows where they will find love. Why settle for less, when you can have it all? I refuse to settle for any thing less than I deserve in a  partner. So, if that means he is black, white, Indian, Asian, or what have you, then so be it. There is someone out there for everyone in this big world. I say go for it.

Best of Luck!  

Ok, so you are now dating an African American man who is attentive and accepted by your parents.  Should we now give you a metal.....

Saying that with a grin...

Dating out side of your race goes deeper than all of what you have stated, though it is nice. I am African American.

This what you have to be prepared to do next....  Learn the true history of Black people in America from as far back as Slavery in the south...... and then come forward...

You must....  Why... because some day you may have children whose heritage will now be from two different ethnicities.  You have to be prepared to teach your children the truth about who they are and where they come from....

Next, you need to learn how to do black children's hair, especially girls... men don't usually do hair well.  Just in case your children's hair is kinky curly instead of silky straight like yours. Braids is not the way to go for long periods of time...

Next... you need to learn about your man's background, about his family of his mother's mother's mother and so on... where they did they come from... Are they African American / Native American heritage or Creole, or ?????? find out...

Next, no the medical history... do they have a history of sickle cell, high blood pressure.... etc..... Do they have a history of mental problems.... and then

After you learn all of that.... the same goes for him in the reverse. You must inform him of all of that......

Ok SISTER.... earn your Sister card.... get to know your soon to be family well, collect pictures and data cause your kids will want to know some day....

Then, you can ride off into the sunset.....with your Man...

let me know how it goes.

Sincerely

Wait a minute. Slow down Sister..

First of all, stop bringing strange men around your daughters.... Get to know these men first for a minimum of one full year before you even introduce him to your daughters, for your daughters safety.....

Second, ask yourself, why are you jumping from relationship to relationship... Why are you by the way divorcing your husband?  Is he the children's father...

Remember, it is called SELF ESTEEM  it is controlled by ones' self, not by the man you date... If you self esteem is low, its your fault, if it is high, it is your achievement..... You make these things happen, not men....

Talk to me... what's really goin on here...

Sincerely