Quote From: mdearest
I'm not going to be the bad guy and end things, he has the girlfriend, he can pay for the divorce to be with her. I just want enough money to survive and be able to do things with my daughter.
I found out yesterday that my oldest daughter has already met his new girl, that kinda chaps my butt, I must admit. But what really truely bothers me is that he goes out in the town where all of us live, he is married to me and going all over town with her, I find the very offensive and just plain RUDE! I wrote a letter to my family and had them all set down and read it yesterday. It explained my feelings and invited them (husand and 2 oldest daughters) to ask any questions they wanted while we all sat there and could hear the answers together. My 19 yr old asked him how would it be if I was the one with a boyfriend and he said, "no different than it is now." He lies so bad, if it were me with the boyfriend, I know that he would sit in the carport with a gun, wait for us to come home one night and kill us both. My 19 yr old also told him that she never wants to meet her because she doesn't consider her anything except a home wrecker.
Where do I get the money to go and see a lawyer? Hell just paying my credit card bills and buying some groceries to feed us takes all I have. I am trying to figure this all out!
Thanks for replying.
Sorry if this message comes up twice. Problems with the site.
Family meeting has pros and cons. Even his children will not bring a cheater to his senses. Yes, I am SO sure he would have been ok with you having an affair. NOT I assure you the story he is telling around town is nowhere near the truth so blowing his family off is no big deal.
You do need to protect yourself financially. Look at nolo.com and findlaw.com for some help. Some divorce lawyers give a free initial consult. Go well armed with financial info and questions. Maybe take someone with you. I prefer female lawyers over 35. Two male lawyers I talked to wanted me to just stay.
I suggest yard sales to raise money. Bet hubby hasn't used those golf clubs in months anyhow. lol
Or if you have friends or family float a loan.
Also sit down and attack your finances. Order the credit cards from highest to lowest interest rate. Call the companies and tell them you are having problems but do not want to default and ask if they will lower their rates. If they want their money they will cooperate. Then begin paying the minimum each month on all but the highest card. Put everything you can on this highest rate card. Once it is paid off add that monthly payment to the next card and on down the list till you are out of debt. Close any joint cards immediately. I love Suze Orman and her financial advice. She has a tv show on Saturday nite (CNBC I think), articles in Oprah magazine, a place in Yahoo financial as well as shows on PBS and personal appearances and books. Look her up.
An extreme case would require bankruptcy. New bankruptcy laws have just been implimented so be informed.
Sounds like one daughter is "daddy's girl" and the other is a bit spunkier. The truth is they will both eventually give in on the girlfriend issue. Be prepared.
If the two older daughters are with you it is time for them to step up to the plate. They are young and healthy and will follow through if you do not baby them. If any of my advice angers them, send them to daddy for explanation. Both girls need at least part time jobs. They need to cover their extra expenses like car, car insurance, gas, clothing and spending money. I suggest THEIR cars be in THEIR names and they have their own insurance policies. Takes a lot of the liability off you if they have a wreck. My daughter is in college full time and works an average of 30 hours per week. I know it can be done.
Good luck.
